Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Back in the swing of things.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

What does that even mean?

Closing out last year was pretty tough for me, my family, and my business. But alas, here we are in 2018 running free.

I stopped working on Rush Consulting Firm on November 1 in preparation for #10 within the coming weeks; unbeknownst to us, he would make an early arrival.

In that time things got tight and hectic and I realized the time I dedicated to taking off, albeit unwillingly, was much needed.

I have notes everywhere! In notebooks, post-it notes, whiteboards, notes on the fridge, on my phone, and on my laptop. I am finally sitting down and compiling them into the form necessary to build a prosperous brand in 2018.

What that actually means, although it sounds great, is late nights, early mornings, busy days, and long nights.

While on my break I have managed to mentally compile what will change for the businesses. I will utilize Heels & Hustle more, I will be scaling way down on Slips Socks and Bows, I will be pushing my erotica, and I will only work my set hours of Rush Consulting Firm. The children will go on a more structured (un)learning schedule and I am planning a vacation.

Now, while I have set all that in motion in my mind it is time to put in the hard work to make this come to fruition.

#1 has also decided to jump on the YouTube bandwagon and he wants to drag me along with. I do not mind because we have an awesome relationship but I do wonder how this may conflict with my plans. We shall see. I already told him he can not prank me in any way. I don’t like pranks or surprises… or gifts or being put on the spot but that is a list for another day.

I am excited that we have finally gotten our family pictures back but I cannot say I am 100% satisfied so since I am in the business of promoting businesses with my complete honesty, I will leave that alone.

I look to bring you bigger and better things in 2018 with the iRush Brand which include more youtube videos and more check-ins. Greater encouragement and maybe even a short summer tour as requested, but only for the east coast because Y’all not funding us….yet!

-Rush

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

To beat their butts or not…..

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I’m not here for a debate so I will just jump right into it.

As a mother to 9, soon to be 10, children, I assure you that this is the most asked questioned we get. It is usually dressed up nicely by those who try to be politically correct or just plain nosey. “How do you get them to behave?’ or “What do you use?”

The answer in my head is, none of your dang business, but I play nice and smile and say “Love.”

Believe it or not children do respond well to it. Now, please do not be misinformed, they CAN get it but it doesn’t resort to that.

I have my days when I want to pull my hair out or simply state to my husband, ..”and we have NINE”. I get headaches and I fuss. Most times I put myself in time out which is usually the attempt to hide in my closet from the littles who have not yet learned my moods and patience level.

Every time, and I do mean every time, we are out in public we are approached with statements like, “I can’t even get my two children to behave, I cannot imagine having nine”. The truth is, if you cannot get your two children to behave then you probably should have stopped at one. I know, that was harsh but you are the parent.

As for me I am the most impatient person I know and I do not accept anything less than your best and that goes for my children as well. If they are wrong, I tell them they are wrong. If they are not doing their best, I tell them that too. If they are acting like a jerk, I let them know that as well. I am really bad at sugar coating things and that goes for my children as well. I pretty much treat my children like I treat my clients. I am not here to feed you fairytales about how wonderful you are and how great the world is. I am here to tell you the truth and prepare you for an even harsher truth called life.

So I suppose by now you are like, answer the question already! So, No. No I do not beat my children into submission otherwise my life would be much simpler. My children are very well behaved in public but let me tell you something, they are absolutely barbaric at home! I mean really, flipping through the house, jumping down the stairs, running around like loose weirdos, but in public, not a peep.

There really is no secret to it at all. Do I believe children should get their butt beat? Yup. I have seen some children that I just want to beat on site, old school with an extention cord but they are not mine so I digress and mind my business like I would like people to do about mine.

Again, I definitely have my days, especially trying to work on my businesses and homeschool whilst continuing to be a good wife and mother. It is tiring and oftentimes stressful. I recently spoke with someone about this issue I have about feeling like I was going to go crazy and she suggested I, get this, get organized!!! What, the nerve! But I took her advice and spent the last week in June creating a slew of schedules that I implemented starting July 1st. And although it is only the second of July, my life has never been so smooth sailing, even before the RushBunch. We stick to those schedules like my life depends on it (because I think it does). This is the second night where nine o’clock hit and all of my children are asleep. This feels like heaven! If I keep this up, this may not be the last Rush out of me yet [LIES].

I am so grateful for her and her wise words to me. Now I am like a child in a candy store; excited to get to bed before one a.m.

Accountability in the Black community

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I recently posted on Facebook;

There is a lot of blame going around in our communities but no accountability. We have to start being honest with ourselves Reflections. Ase’
With that being said, I decided to take a moment to reflect on my own accountability of the negative statistics within our communities as a whole. Of course I know that my Philadelphia roots and Florida upbringing do not directly affect the Texas statistics but I am talking about US as a whole which is something we need to start focusing more on instead of concentrating on “just me”. I am aware that we need to concentrate on ourselves sometimes but we also must keep in mind the bigger picture.

I have decide to make a list of the things I personally am responsible for in addition to a list that I also contribute to the black community, not for the purposes of justifying or otherwise erasing what I did to negatively affect us but for the purpose of showing growth. Well, here it goes.

I have negatively affected the statistics of the black community in many ways. I dropped out of high school and was a habitual runaway. I hung out with what I knew was the wrong crowd resulting in getting taken into a juvenile detention facility at the age of 15. I was promiscuous, though never resulting in pregnancy, in my teenage years (16-17). I engaged in a cohabiting relationship that resulted in children out of wedlock. I was married and divorced twice. While in college I stripped, not for school but for extra money. I was a habitual liar up until I was about 19 years old. I had no regards to the wise words that my elders spoke to me about. I stayed in a religion that affected me mentally into believing that suffering was the only way to please God (paraphrasing). I deliberately sabotage some blessings by believing I was not good enough and I let that esteem trickle down to my children. I intentionally kept my son away from his father resulting in me being a single parent for years and it was a strained and bitter relationship resulting in a broken child.

Those are my blames that I accept responsibility for and hold myself accountable everyday. These are also the things that attribute to my desire to make amends with myself for my own brokenness and my life vow to do better not only for me but for the community as a whole.

Here is my short, but growing, list of contributions I make to our community now.

I stopped lying (long ago). I went back to school to get my GED and went on to study Law, although I have not completed yet.I have started several small businesses, not just for myself but others within our community. I do free consultations for people who want to start their own business and help them along the way. I am a motivational speaker to those who feel like because they are black they can’t accomplish something. That is NOT true. I am an activist for the equality for black people and other so called minorities. I study and pass on my knowledge to others via speaking engagements or everyday conversations. I am an advocate for the less fortunate/homeless. I homeschool my children to not follow in my footsteps and teach them who they really are and to live up to their true potential. I have apologized to my sons father and we have a better relationship because of it. I have apologized to my son as well admitting my faults and role in his pain. I have been married and have since had many more children. Of course I am faithful to him mind and body. I have left organized religion and embraced my focus on having a better relationship spiritually with the God of my own understanding. I have kept two children out of the system and raise them as my own. I deliberately search out elders in the community and seek their wisdom. I openly welcome all blessings flowing to an through me as I know I am truly worth it.

That wasn’t too hard. And it actually feels refreshing to get it all off my chest in addition, it’s also good to see how far I have come. I implore my Reflections to do the same as a starting point to rebuilding our community and contribute to our growth as a whole.

Namaste Reflections.

-Rush