Is my living in vain?

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

Advertisements

How to homeschool without going crazy 馃槻

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. 馃

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget 馃檪)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

I never knew.

Hello Gems!!!

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted and a little more than that since I had a rant but….here it goes.

Did you know that I was not light skinned or skin, or skint (smh). Apparently a few women whom deemed me unqualified to speak out for people, my people, because I am brown skinned and therefore I am somehow in a category that places me in a realm of privileged.

Now, I do not necessarily refute this but being an entrepreneur I have not had to endure this in the working world. A young lady posted about light skinned people basically carrying their privilege around with heads touted 聽in the air 聽proudly. I made the mistake of commenting on her post stating that we need to stop allowing the divide within our race and stand together. I gave an example of my cousin and the trauma she went through and ultimately spilling my own beans out of frustration and bewilderment as to how they just did not get it. Well, let me tell you, these ladies had a field day demeaning my complexion (or my thoughts of it) as well as my character, views, intelligence, etc. I looked on in amazement that the fact that I was speaking in unity and NOT dark skinned was an issue. I HONESTLY do not know how what I was saying was taken so far out of context in a matter of minutes. Now, I LOVE my extra dose of melanin people, their complexion is so very beautiful to me but these particular ladies attitude… straight horrible. I never one time demeaned anyone or their views, I was even agreeing with them but please do not get it twisted, I am still black. I was raised to not speak to people in a manner I did not want to be spoken to. This conversation had my heart beating so fast and my palms sweaty. Why do we scream out BLACK LIVES MATTER yet continue the divide within our own race? No. One. Else. Does. This. Not like we do. but we want equality and justice but we continue to rob, kill, and destroy one another. We cannot even respect ourselves to stand united. What are we going to do with equality? Yes I am aware it exists but don’t blame me for it. I did not Write a memo to God stating I will only go to earth if you make me…..smh.

So, I open up the dialogue for advice and conversation. I am posting the conversation below. But first this:

“You must use the dark skin slaves vs. the light skin slaves and the light skin slaves against the dark skin slaves” -Willie Lynch

post on facebook: ‘Okay so I’m still mad, how does a person deal with opression everyday and then still fix their mouth to say someone else’s opression doesn’t exist because it’s one form they don’t experience? I’m calling out all light skin people, do fucking better. If I catch you I will come for you, with all of the fury I have stored in this short fluffy body I swear!’ (I left the typos intentionally as to not tamper with her words)

My (along with everyone else’s reply. ( I will try to remove names because I do not want anyone confronting these ladies because they are still my sisters)

Me:

Maisha Rush 馃憖 the biggest problem, in my opinion, is how WE as black women choose to seperate our struggles! We are all black no matter what the complexion. We all have issues that we shouldn’t have to go through but intead of supportinng one another we try to demean one another in attempts to exemplify how our light skin isssues are bigger than our dark skin issues and vice versa. I watched as my dark skin cousin was constantly told that she was pretty for a dark skin girl girl. Meanwhile I was being rejected because I was so called light skin and proceeded to have a nasty attitude by thinking I was better than someone else. I have seen the problems from both spectrums and her problem was not bigger than my problems and my problems were not bigger than her problems, but collectively WE had a problem as black women. There is too much division. Smh it is time out for this, like literally, we are being killed in drones and here we sit sulking and complaining about complexion issues. #PettyMinds
LikeReply211 hrs

 

Hide 51 Replies
Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root ‘Both sides’? Nah
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush ????? My point exactly. You’re focusing on a statement I made that you do not agree with instead of seeing my point… smh. I digress. You’d rather be argumentative than objective. We have to do better.
LikeReply111 hrsEdited

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush So does racism go ‘both ways’ too?
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Nope. Black people aren’t racist, they are defensive.
LikeReply111 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush We can only be biased in reference to the initial comment I made.
LikeReply11 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush Same with dark-skinned black women.
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I get that. I cried with my cousin. Defended my cousin. FOUGHT for my cousin. I get it, hell, I almosted hated light skin people in the midst of it. It is sad. I love her melanin, even more than she did. Our relationship was cut off because she one day decided to hate me too, even still not loving herself. So yes, despite your opinion, I have seen the pain from both spectrums ( light vs dark).
LikeReply111 hrsEdited

 

Ebony Murphy-Root

Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush There is no ‘both spectrums’.

And colorism is not the result of ‘low self esteem’ and ‘even still not loving yourself’. I can understand why she stopped talking to you though, if this is how you talked to her. Would you be friends with a white person who told you racism was a result of not loving yourself enough? Can you truly not hear how obtuse that sounds?

UnlikeReply1011 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush What are you even talking about? I’ve never once mentioned how I spoke to my cousin all I did was uplift her and encourage her and tell her how beautiful she was and how she didn’t have to listen to the things that people were saying about her. I only speak now about knowing botj spectrums because I seen the pain that she went through and I know the pain that I went through and my bottom line is we are black women, we need to uplift and encourage and Inspire one another learn to be there for each other. I have no idea what you THINK you read but I impore you to re read. I never said one was better than the other or she should not feel the way she felt after suffering the name calling. I just reminded her. How beautiful she was. She will even tell you that. Tje reasom she atopped talking to me is because she could not see past the pain and she apologized to me for that. So please do not come for me because you misinterpreted what I said. All you had to do was ask for clarification instead of attacking my opinion.
LikeReply211 hrsEdited

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild *rolls eyes at folks who purposely miss the point*
LikeReply711 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Furthermore it would. Seem you are being argumentative for the same reason. #JimCrow got us by the balls.
LikeReply111 hrs

 

Kio Shaala Sapey
Kio Shaala Sapey I agree with you coming from a 3girl household with 3 extreme variations of skin tones. Thank good my mother called out every ignorant comment directed and it taught is to love our differences and embrance them.
UnlikeReply211 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root

Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush LOL I’ll take definition B

Ebony Murphy-Root's photo.
UnlikeReply211 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush @ Heather Lovechild I totally agree. However society says otherwise. I have been arguing about it all my life. But thanks for the verification.
LikeReply211 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Getting tired of being told I am too light to know the real struggles but too dark to reap the privileges.
LikeReply211 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Sigh lightskin privilege is a thing, it has nothing to do with being “division” just as much as talking about racism isn’t divisive. Being too light doesn’t bar you from jobs. It doesn’t make you a target for violence among other things. You will lose nothing by confronting your privilege to help our darkskinned sisters in their struggles. Light skinned people are told they think they are better because of their light skin, dark skinned women get compared to animals and insects and dehumanized completely the struggles aren’t the same. Just like it’s not the same when a black person calling a white person cracker as the white person say the n word.
UnlikeReply1410 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Thats what everyone thinks (referring to jobs) but plenty of my friends (purposely taking myself out of the equation for aforementioned reasons) who did not get a job because they were black. Regardless the complexion, you are still black. Thats what they see. The biggest division in the color scale is our own. But you are correct, affirmative action would pull the lightest brightest
LikeReply110 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Again it’s been proven that if they believed you are mixed you are twice as likely to be hired then those who don’t come of as such. Your reply is Ill informed
LikeReply610 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush My reply can’t be ill informed when it is my experience and opinion…
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Erm pardon me for interrupting but uh Maisha.. you ain’t even light skint. 馃
UnlikeReply510 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Andrea Seals I am aware of that and have already stated and agreed. However I have not always been this tanned and I was speaking of my younger years. Thanks for the dig though…. smh
LikeReply210 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals I think we need to start remembering there is the third category of being brown skint. 馃槀 Not being dark isn’t automatically light. Seems to happen a lot lately.
LikeReply810 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Not a dig I promise.
UnlikeReply410 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Lmao opinion can be ill informed look at white people. They also voice from their opinions and experience, due to their privilege they are also more like to miss judge the severity of an issue.
UnlikeReply910 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I promise I did not come on here to argue (or be reminded I am not light/dark) just voicing my opinion like everyone else.
LikeReply210 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
LikeReply210 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Andrea Seals Yes, but there is being dark and ‘not dark’. Being ‘not dark’ is the privileged category for skin color.
UnlikeReply610 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Definitely Eb. Dark skint here. Lately just too many folks love claiming light when it’s not true. Even looking at the 4 of us here, India is the only one actually light skinned. The rest of us would all be “dark” because people are too lazy to think otherwise. But you and I actually are, Maisha is somewhere in the middle. All relative.
LikeReply510 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush How bout we work together so its not a privilege category. It seems I am being attacked because I am brown skin and now know no struggle.. my initial comment was said to say we have to unite ourselves so we can stand together instead comments were made inside and outside of this post about how I was not light skinned to which I never said that I was. I believe that is a big problem because instead of unifying we are still dividing. But thats fine, maybe not you and me. But one day we will. Be blessed my loves.
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals No ones attacking you for being brown. We don’t care, you’re brown. Just stating the right category lol. Have a nice day.
LikeReply310 hrs

 

Rachel Chance

Rachel Chance Her problems are bigger than yours, when she is at an increased risk for abuse and discrimination. You’re being ignorant, stubborn, and obtuse.

It isn’t about separating struggles, but acknowledging the nuances of oppression.

LikeReply810 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I have 9 children of every complexion and I will disagree because when I moved to a new neighborhood when I was younger I was beat up everyday for being lighter. My daughter used to Come home crying because people would tease her because she isn’t black. You beautifully melanates sisters don’t know my stories. Being gang raped and called white girl. Not being dateable by dark skin men because I cannot connect with the struggle. Light and brown skinned girls get it too.. When I said her problems were not bigger than mine and vice versa I meant in the realm of coming together and not pointing fingers at who has it worse but what we are going to do to make it better. Instead I got this. Name calling. Its time we understand one another. Grow from there. Unite from there. Thats all. That was all.
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Some folks do this shit on purpose to make themselves the victim. 馃槕 I don’t even bother anymore. Can see racism but colorism… no speaka da English.
UnlikeReply1210 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush But do see it everyday. Every single day. I choose. Not to play victim, but fight and build and uplift. I take no pity and I offer none. Thats why I started my business to help black people have their own so we are not subject to scraps.
LikeReply110 hrs

 

Rachel Chance
Rachel Chance Your exceptional experiences aren’t representative for the majority.
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Rachel Chance
Rachel Chance No one is saying you can’t experience oppression. We’re saying dark skinned women have a bit harder, and the stats speak for themselves.
UnlikeReply79 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Not a bit harder Rachel Chance a LOT harder. A whole lot harder. I never refuted that. All I was saying was instead of increasing the divide by pointing out who has it worse which ultimately results in conversations much like this thread, we bond togetSee More
LikeReply19 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals The marginalized are not the divisive ones. The ones who wanna keep their privilege, are. They don’t get to be comfortable at our expense. Interesting since the OP is doing her part, checking her privilege while calling out others then you come along trying to get her to stop doing the right thing? Ok den.
UnlikeReply119 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I never did though. I understand you are angry at the injustices, but what did I do? Say we need to stand together as sisters and fight for one another? That was th only point I made. I speak at functions, I rally and protest. I have been in meetings with government officials, non government officials, travel speaking on the injustices but to you guys, because I am not dark skin, I am no better than the enemy? I did not ask to be born this complexion or this race. I can fight for US just like any other brown skin person can. Who says I never stopped someone from using their privilege? some of you made an assumption from my face and barely bothered to read my words. At no point was I creating a divide, calling people out of their name, or telling someone they were wrong.. it was unity all along but I guess I cannot call for unity.
LikeReply19 hrsEdited

 

Lacey So
Lacey So Heather Lovechild, I was about to say the same thing. She’s not even light skinned……
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Now you’re just making shit up LMAO stop calling us angry anytime we speak up. If anything, my comments are snarky at the most. Now you think we are calling you the enemy? You just wanna be the victim here while claiming you are above that mentality. I’m gonna go enjoy my Saturday, enjoy yours and cut the bullshit please. Stop using words like unity and division in these discussions when you ain’t about the former and the latter is gaslighting.
LikeReply59 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Andrea Seals what did I make up? I never called *US* angry…again taking words out of context. I was talking to you directly about being angry about the injustices as we all are. You are making it to imply I am just calling black women angry and I wasn’t. Please do enjoy the rest of your day. I apologize my comment went left. It was never my intention.
LikeReply19 hrsEdited

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke You sound like a poor white person who doesnt understand they have privilege too
LikeReply59 hrs

 

Rachel Chance

Rachel Chance Pointing out colorism isn’t “increasing the divide.” The divide IS colorism. How is confronting the problem the issue to you?

When has pretending problems don’t exist ever been the solution? Dark skinned women are hurting, and they are rightfully angry… and we have people telling them they are the problem. Tuh. We all should be angry.

UnlikeReply128 hrsEdited

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Tiffani Dowell where did I go wrong?
LikeReply15 hrsEdited

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke ^your very first sentence sis
UnlikeReply45 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Thank you Tisha Tyacke not sarcastically either.
LikeReply15 hrs

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke No problem. It was problematic from jump. It definitely rubbed me the wrong way. We live and we learn 馃檪
UnlikeReply35 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Andrea Seals
Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Makes a post about problematic light skints. Problematic light skint hops on with tears
LikeReply1211 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
LikeReply311 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush *but I’m not light skin*
LikeReply10 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Nah. You aren’t.
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke Typical
LikeReply39 hrs

 

Chantal Monique

Chantal Monique Come awn. My mom and sis are darker than me. My mom is black skinned. I know DAMN well/ my light skin was/is a privilege. I’ve suffered from discrimination and oppression- but not like them and not in that area. I KNOW- ignorant folk think I’m “safer”. I saw it. I saw their pain & it’s not my job to compare it to mine. My job it to be their voice. My job is to use my privilege.

I cannot understand why some light skinned folks wanna complain about “I got picked on for being light.”

My FAMILY- picked on me for being light. And SO?? So what?? What the hell?? How does that really hurt me/ besides hurt feels (as a little girl).

I feel like it’s a game of oppression olympics. Some of us have privileges that others do not. Just admit it – do what you can to help & hush about the woes – regarding being “lighter”

*ROLLS EYES*

LikeReply46 hrsEdited

 

Mae West Washington
Mae West Washington Not at all!!!
LikeReply2 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Also, she ain’t light skint either. Lmao
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
LikeReply411 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild When colorism is so firmly rooted that she attempted to convince folks she was light
LikeReply18 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Sharon Wood Thorndike
Sharon Wood Thorndike I am definitely aware of my “light skinned” privilege and try to always be mindful of that. I ALWAYS check assholes as well that ever DARE have some negative shit to say about my darker hued brothers and sisters!
LikeReply69 hrs

 

Constance Johnson
Constance Johnson goodness. I’ve seen thin people tears and NOW light skin tears. I’m getting off before I see able people tears and white people tears
LikeReply119 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Man I saw the thin tears about an hour ago. I had to walk away from that
LikeReply38 hrs

 

Constance Johnson
Constance Johnson so disgusting. no one wants to admit their privilege. always pointing fingers and we’re all one, and we all have problems, see i’m just like you, i don’t have privilege, i have to suffer too. just shut up! everyone has problems, but people have privileges too
LikeReply68 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Right. Girl I’s is tired
LikeReply58 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Mae West Washington
Mae West Washington I see it to often dark get played to the left for light shit. The moms from fresh prince, how Paula Patton is glorified for being light, but Meagan good still have to prove herself. I’m light and I see how most dark skinned women a treated as if she isn’t as sexy or beautiful and I’ve always noticed it. I hate it I’m tired of it and as long as I breath air I will stand up for my dark skinned goddesses because y’all/they deserve it. Our race deserve it.
LikeReply12 hrs

 

Shanythia Cook
Shanythia Cook Marginalized people can still be bigots.
*End of post*
Sigh. I am so confused and this negative energy had my vibes all off. I was angry all day. I cannot even with some people, I 聽wasn’t mad at the name calling, even though it was childish and showed lack and inability to have a grown conversation without attitude I was mad at the fact that they could not look past my complexion. Like you took an OPINION and turned it into ‘tear Maisha Down day’. But some will say I am again trying to play the victim but for those who know me I, that is not even in my DNA, like foreal, don’t touch me, don’t sympathize, nothing.
What are your thoughts? Do you think I spoke incorrectly or am I just expecting unity too soon, because THIS, this is not it.
*decided to leave the names, they may want the fame.
-Rush
me002