Whew chillay!

Mothering is HARD no matter what level or how many. By level I mean eating out everyday or a top notch crunchy mom. Btw, my goal is to be a crunchy mom but later for that.

Being a good wife is HARD. It takes or practice, I have been married three times (Don’t act like you didn’t know that!) and finally getting it right.

Running a business is HARD. If it’s a side gig or full fledged brick and mortar with 100 employees (I’d like to point out that I am proud of you).

Putting these three together is HELLA HARD. But here I am, juggling the heck out of them. Some days not at my best but I try not to beat myself up too badly about it at the end if the day.

Most of you know we have finally welcomed Lady Ava to the crew! So sleep is minimal and there is still always work to be done. With that being said, I had created an event earlier this month to boost my business, Rush Consulting firm. Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. Sometimes I mistake myself for some type of super mom or something. Anyway, I gave myself two weeks to boost this business ←bad business move. Now let me give you the tea. I had been contemplating shutting down my business because in addition to being an everyday mom, I also homeschool all of our children so most days I was beyond overwhelmed. Well, word got to my clients and I was being inspired not to, so reluctantly, I held on but was doing the bare minimum with it outside of maintaining my current clientele.

The event

I had this phenomenal idea to have Mini session called Elevating Masterminds: Boosting Your Brand. You know, jumping back in with two feet. Well, I had to push this event like no other because my following had dropped tremendously as I was not taking on customers or posting therefore my exposure was not in tune with the algorithms.

The day before the event I had sold 3 tickets! THREE 😮. I had fallen to the realm of a start-up that was not taking care of business.

This is what I took from it. (I posted this in a private group I’m in but the transparency that I embody, I thought it best to make it public knowledge.

I hosted my first event for the year. I had been back and forth with canceling or not canceling my business for a year so had not been active. My “following” fell tremendously and so this event only had three ticket sales. 😮Normally I would have cancelled and issued refunds because to me that is a fail. But, after briefly discussing with my mentor and another friend, I decided to push forward and get out of my feelings. The bottom line is, 3 people bought into my vision and were willing to support me. I decided to show up for those who showed up for me. The event was successful. We covered a lot of ground and it was more intimate and informative for them because I could give them more of me.
Today, I choose to not look at the numbers but focus on why I started and look at the lives I could change. 💞

I didn’t post this directly to my page because everyone is not for you and that’s fine but for the ones that are for me, I want you to know that I stand with you and for you. #KeepPushing


Lady Ava’s arrival

I did not realize it has been over a month since I have updated you guys on our homeschooling shenanagins but that’s not what you are here for. Later for that!

Most of you know that I wanted to homebirth Ava. I got my doula and I informed my doctor. My doctor was adamant about me not birthing at home because I recently had a cesarean and I was Group B Strep positive in addition to the necessity of needing a Rhogam shot within 24 hours of giving birth. Aside from all of that, I was still willing to trust my body and follow in the steps of my ancestors. McRush was not fully on board. There were a couple of times I almost died giving birth so I understood and recognized his fear. What I reminded him was, both times it was not my body who failed me, it was the medical facility and doctors. That did not soothe his fears but he was willing to listen to mine.

One thing about me is I hate hospitals. I hate the drawn-out process of diagnosing you, I hate the rudeness and disrespect they give you. I hate that they feel like they know more about your body than you do and I hate being away from my family for extended periods ESPECIALLY when it’s for no reason but to milk my pockets.

Now that I got my mini-rant out of the way…

On February 24 at 9:27 I was laying across my bed and I felt like I had to pee. I sat up and felt a trickle. I’m thinking, I know I didn’t have to pee that bad. But then a moment of excitement as I wondered maybe it’s my water, I immediately cleared that thought because it was not even close to enough to have been my water breaking. So I get up and head to the bathroom to be stopped by my 2-year-old to give him toothpaste. While grabbing the toothpaste I drip a few times on the floor. Now I’m like, you buggin’. I sit n the toilet to pee and reach over to clean the floor. Its gooey!

I text McRush

For the rest of the day, I am walking around with a towel between my legs because in true Ava style (stubborn) my water will not break but instead just trickles. We decide to go for a walk because I am not having any contractions and Ava is still extremely high.

Y’all I walked, went up and down the stairs, did squats, cleaned, danced, you name it. Ava’s but was still tucked comfortably in my chest! I had put off calling the doctor as long as I could. Mcrush was in my ear the entire time, I think we should call the doctor, do you think we should call the doctor, the doctor will be worried, etc. I called the doctor.

Now we were scheduled to come in that morning and get an IV of antibiotics for the strep and then they were going to break my water so the hospital had called but I ignored it. When I called the hospital, the doctor asked about my pink eye and whether I finished my medication for it. I kindly gave my husband the side eye and just that quick, he was on my side of home birthing. Why? I did not, nor have I ever had pink eye.

The entire day goes by and still, no contractions and Ava is still tucked in “high”ness position.. my chest.

12 hours later, I decide to look up how long you have to give birth after your water breaks because I had stopped trickling fluids about 9:45 p.m. It said 12-24 hours, I was still safe.

Around 10, contractions started but they were more like Braxton hicks because they were sporadic and oh so irregular. So I decided to drink some Red Rasberry leaf tea.. with THREE tea bags. <——- Disclaimer: NEVER do this in active labor!

The contractions remained irregular until about 12 but were so very painful. I just was not ready and I believe the tea forced them but they were not productive as Ava was still not ready to come down.

I went from the bathtub to the floor to the bench back to the tub in efforts to ease the pain and nothing worked. I even begged McRush for an overdose of Tylenol. He said no.

I never called my doula because at this point it was just a waiting game and even now, in some of the worst pain I have ever been in, I was considering other people’s time.

At this point I just wanted to take a nap, I was exhausted. I laid down and there was no comfortable position so I got back up and roamed my room. Time was moving so slowly and McRush was as tired as I was because he’d been up longer and he was at my beck and call. His eyes were so red.

I decided to squat using our workout bench and see if gravity will let her ease on down. Boy did that work! I climbed in my bed and felt like reaching in and pulling her out with my bare hands, but that’s probably unsanitary, I thought.

I felt the need to push so Mcrush sat between my legs and waited.

He remembered that I had asked him a while back that when her head starts crowning to take his finger and go around the opening of my vagina and her head so I won’t tear. It seems to me that this was a gentle way of stretching me with her. At the time I did not remember asking him to do this and was about to kill him!

I would push and her head would ease out and then go back in. this happened about 3 or 4 times. By the 5th time, I was over it and pushed as hard as I can. Her head popped out and all I could think was, oh my God, the shoulders!!! I wanted to quit. It was in that moment I decided, again, no more children.

Her shoulders hurt like hell! McRush was clearing her airway and I just wanted to sleep.

I wanted to have a lotus birth but her placenta tore so we decided to bury it and plant a fruit tree.

So there it is, a recap (its much more fun when I tell it in person) of Lady Ava’s arrival into this realm. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

OH! My doula came and took care of her. Changed her diaper, tied off her umbilical cord, and assessed her. she did a lot more but I don’t want to make this too long. I will blog a Doula appreciation blog soon. Her link, however, is aNaturalMindedMama BOOK HER! You will get much more than a birthing experience. She is so knowledgeable and patient.