I don’t know how to do this y’all. This… nothing. Right now that’s exactly what I should be doing, especially since its my birthday.
Though the things happening in our life right now are all out of my control, I cannot help but feel like its my fault. Its what I do by nature. Whenever an issue arises I check myself first to see what I did that could have contributed to the ruckus. What action did I take, or not take, to start this snowball effect? That leaves me in a tough spot of sorting should haves, could haves, and would haves. If only I made a left instead of a right….
Though I know there is nothing I could have done, I wonder if there was something I should have done. We make life confusing sometimes.
I assure you things could be a lot worse, like A LOT. But oftentimes its the little things that make you halt.
McRush is fine. My pregnancy is going well. The RushBunch is fine and for those of you who noticed in my last blog, no, #9KidsAndCounting was not a typo.
My niece I have been raising since infancy is going to stay with my mom. It has been a decision a long time in the making, one that I refused to succumb to. But, I know that it is something I must do.
In life we get overwhelmed by the choices we’ve made but we still try to make the best decisions for our families. I thought that keeping her with the RushBunch was best but due to circumstances beyond…. FAR beyond my control, I know this is best.
While this decision absolutely breaks my heart and I worry about the ramifications therein, I have learned that sometimes in life we have to release. Whether it’s a habit, a job, or a person, let it go.
I suppose after the baby, Eleven, is born I can reclaim the hash tag of 10KidsAndCounting although we will no longer be counting. 😉
I also considered keeping the hash tag in honor of my daughter who passed away but that leads to questions and I usually don’t like to talk about it.
What do you think?