What is your happiness moms?

So I have been pushing through some issues in life and sometimes it is hard to see clearly when you are a mom. That is not to take anything from you fathers out there but like I tell McRush all the time, I can only speak from the perspective of a mom and wife.

There is always someone who wants to pass you some advice that’s common sense but really not logical like, “take a nap when the children take a nap”. This of course going off the assumption that you can get all of your children down for a nap simultaneously. In addition, while this may seem a good idea, most moms know that this is the most opportune time to actually get some work done without the children in the way calling you for everything.

Another one I find hilarious is, “you have to take time out in the day for yourself”. My response,and the response of many moms is, I can’t even pee in peace. Where exactly is that time located because I have been looking.

I watched Red Table today and heard something profound. Something I have always known to be true and even experience but it was put into words. It’s the assumption that I am doing a great job because I maintain my family and every one around me is doing well as a result of my encouragement and tenacity to be there for them. But no one, not even me, considers me.

I found myself questioning why I am. And while that may sound borderline suicidal, I assure you it is anything but. My inward emotions in no way reflect my outward appearance. I have everything I could ever want. Even under the presence of the full moon there is nothing I can ask for to make my life better. Inwardly, however, I feel like something is missing. It’s crazy because I am doing exactly why I love to as far as business and my family is picture perfect.

What is it then? I have lost myself. There are questions I can ask myself and not know the answers.

What do you like to do for fun?

What is your favorite color?

What makes you happy?

What makes you laugh from your soul?

So, that is my new quest, to make myself as happy as I make the people around me. Its going to be a bumpy ride but I have my seatbelt on. 😉

What is your happiness?

-Rush

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Pineapples. Nasty Sex. Uncle.

Some people wonder how I manage to get it all done in a day. I am often called supermom or superwoman. I am neither of these things. I am just an everyday woman trying to live my best life now.
With 10 children and a business, I definitely have my days and at 11:04 p.m. its hardly began to end.
The post topic is keywords I have used or set to use when I am at my wit’s end. Today I need all three. Today started out rough. I woke up late. I didn’t get to do the things around the house that I wanted to do and I was rushed which means I forgot to pack a few things for our trip to the beach, which was amazing by the way.
I am a part of this awesome stay at home mom group where the women look and think and struggle just like me. It is a beautiful feeling to connect with such beautiful kindred souls.
However, I am sure I do not have to tell you how stressful a day at the beach is with 10 children and daddy couldn’t make it. Constant counting, chastising, searching, and the famous interruptions. But in between those moments, I was able to talk on an adult level.
Packing up…not so fun. The drive home…even worse. everyone in the car fell asleep including me a couple times. But we made it safely.
I stopped by the grocery store to pick up veggies for dinner and came home to cook for everyone except me, because I am now Raw Vegan, that in itself can be stressful. I made a salad for myself and waited until McRush was finished putting my radiator in so we can eat together. He didn’t finish until almost 10:30 and by then I was exhausted from cooking, bathing, cleaning, singing, fussing, and feeding #10.
Unbeknownst to McRush that I was waiting on him, he came in and started eating… without me. I am so tired and flustered that I have a migraine and, after I blog, I still have to do some client work.
Being a mom is hard. You want to remain soft and gentle yet firm and strong, the attempt to balance is stressful.
I oftentimes feel bad (and so I don’t) mentioning these woes to McRush because he empathizes with me but I wonder if he gets it. He gets it enough to step in and had I asked, he would have but then my car wouldn’t be fixed.
BTW, I no longer want my salad.
-iRush

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