Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

I tried to be lazy y’all.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Listen. I love a shortcut just as much as the next person, but authenticity is so important to me, so some shortcuts are just not worth taking.

I have been having an amazing past couple of weeks, and that is why I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. If I’m being honest (always), I could have blogged, but I didn’t make it a priority like I should have.

If you’re new here, HI! 👋🏽 Like 👍🏽 comment 🗣 share 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 subscribe 📍

I have been aiming to blog every Sunday, and I get really good about it until I don’t, then it’s hit or miss for a few weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️. Well, today, I was like, let me throw something I’m ai and blog that. Simple, painless, and I can go to bed. Chiiiiile 🙄. This is exactly why I teach my clients that ai will not replace them, but it CAN enhance them. This is what I asked ai to blog about..

“Blog what it’s like to have a successful consulting business, married, and having 12 children as a black woman living in South carolina. ” This is what it gave me.

Having a successful consulting business, being married, and having 12 children is not an easy feat for anyone. However, doing all of this as a black woman living in South Carolina comes with its own unique set of challenges.

Firstly, as a black woman entrepreneur, it can be difficult to gain the same level of respect that male or white entrepreneurs receive in the business world. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to build a successful consulting business, but it can be done with perseverance and determination.

When it comes to being a mother to 12 children, it takes a lot of organization and time-management skills to balance work and family life. It’s important to have a supportive spouse and community to help with childcare and household tasks. Being a working mother can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding to set an example for your children and show them the value of hard work and determination.

Living in South Carolina as a black woman can also come with its own challenges, as the state has a complicated history with race relations. It’s important to find a supportive community and surround yourself with like-minded people who will lift you up and support your success.

Despite the challenges that come with building a successful consulting business, raising a large family, and being a black woman living in South Carolina, it is still possible to achieve your goals. With hard work, dedication, and a strong support system, anything is possible.

🙄. Just 🙄. Cause 🤔. NO 😔. This sounds nothing like me and has no depth, not connection, no encouragement, just words. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good content but not personal.

It is very important to me that I resonate with my people. It’s hard sometimes being all the things to all the people so I try to share my journey as openly and honestly as possible in hopes to encourage and remind people that we all have our hiccups but keep pressing AND take rest. You can do both without choosing.

What you CAN’T do is try to be lazy and have someone or something do it for you because you don’t want to.

I love you like cousins. ❤️

Trouble on the blue app

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Whew. Who knew I could be so popular 😅

I recently ran an ad on Facebook and I had racists coming out of the woodwork for my neck. Don’t worry, I got receipts. One guy called me a diversity hire ” swooping in at a time when people don’t have any money”. WHO doesn’t have money? Listen, if you’re broke just say that. 😳 Another guy went on to talk about how trump was up in the polls. This concerns me how? We already knew his numbers would jump given his general target audience. 🤷🏾 It’s crazy. Then I have people jumping down my throat about my stance on the writers strike and I don’t know why because I support the strike. I just wish they would be able to read the fine print in their contracts so they can seek a better deal.

Either way, the talks, chatter, and disses only bring me more visibility and that is what made me keep my cool. Cause inside I wanted to say a few choice words but I wanted to remain professional because the success of my brand and my business is what I am after. Period.

Even before the shenanigans it has been a rollercoaster of a week. For those that don’t know, I registered my children for public school and for all but one of them, my senior, that have never been in that setting so there was plenty of confusion the first week but we made it through. Hopefully we start off on the good foot tomorrow and from there on.

I met with a radio exec who wants me to come on his show and talk about black businesses and their growth. I also did an interview for insider magazine so I’ll let you know when that drops. I signed a new client and also, I am back in the grant writing game for another client. So this week has been a whirlwind of emotions but I am so very grateful through it all.

I need to record a podcast tomorrow and write a blog for Rush Consulting Firm, which I must say is doing phenomenal. My advice for you this week is let the noise be loud but don’t let it get to you.

Transparent ask for help

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I need a mentor.

Where I am:
Business is at $850,000. 1 location. 2 employees. I am paying myself less than 5k a month. I’m busier than I’d like to be.

Where I’m going:
Open another location in Philadelphia. Get RCF to $1.5. Hire 3 more staff members. Featured in Forbes and Inc. Magazine (without paying for it). Increase my salary by Q1 2024

What I need: Guidance from someone who has been where I am trying to go. Introductions to more c-level executives through networking. Collaborations to scale. Knowledge to increase my expertise.

What I bring to the table:
The tenacity to excel. The audacity to know I can. I am a quick and zealous learner. I have knowledge and expertise that just need to be molded to the next level.

When:
I am looking to connect with a mentor and outline what we can do together this week and be ready to start by 8/15

Reach out if this is you, Maisharush@gmail.com
#ad

Here me out.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

It’s been about a month or so since I have blogged, and I’m just barely making it tonight. 🙃

I don’t know if it’s the excitement of all of these new ai options or the fact that it’s almost LEO season, but I am feeling rejuvenated. I didn’t get in any fights, I didn’t beat my kids, and I didn’t run away from home. Although I do threaten with it. (Judge your mama 👵) But for me, a win is a win because they are few and far between around here.

Nothing personal really happened, and I do truly try to keep this blog a little separate from business unless it’s relevant. But, I have so much going on with the firm, and I am so excited. I am putting out 3 membership sites over the course of the next couple of months. Plus, I am taking classes again, and I am trying to shape my own ai, which is hella exciting to me, seeing as I hate learning technology.

I tried to get with tiktok, but I just can’t invest time with another app. I did manage to get over 10k followers. Maybe when I get out of this creativity storm so I can calm down. I’ll set a strategy for tiktok because if we can be some type of affiliate in alignment with my brand, that would be great.

We found our house. It’s in another state, so I’m hoping it will still be available when we are ready to sell this one and be able to dedicate the time to get it ready.

I gave Reggie my Lexis, so for now, I’m stuck driving the bus (transit) or McRush’s manly truck. Sometimes I will drive his Lexis, but man, do I miss my baby. I wonder if Lincoln would be willing to sponsor me for that new navigator. 👀 I wonder who I have to talk to in order to make that happen. 🤔

I know I pulled myself up from my bootstraps from nothing but hustle to finally coming into my ease and flow stage, although I never pictured that stage breastfeeding and changing diapers. 🤣 But I am not too bougie to play that lotto! Have you guys seen the numbers? If I win, it’s going to be straight quick pick cause I be having ZERO strategy. But I only play like 1 to 2x a year, so I give myself a by.

If I win, I PROMISE I won’t tell ya 🤪.

Have you guys played with that new headshot generating ai? Remini, I believe it’s called. It was fun, but most of them look like a much younger version of myself or too cartoon. I’m going to post them on the bottom of my blogs until I run out, so don’t be commenting on how fake they look. I’m glad they look fake because they are. 🤣

Friiiiiiiiieeeeeends!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all! Oh em gee! Its been so long. Why y’all let me go this long without talking to you?! 😜 I have so much to tell you! Like seriously.

Did I even tell you guys about Maia? 🤔

Shoot! Well, I am finally writing that book. Yes hunty! It is TIME. My business is booming, I’m traveling SOLO! Girl let me tell you, life is GOODT!

I just got back from a 4 day Vegas trip. 😍 I lost $325 though. Gambling is NOT for me but I had fun. I thought I would miss the children but I missed them less when I called McRush and they were yelling in the background 😂.

I took random naps. Had morning mimosas or shots ← Judge ya mama 🙄. I even snuck in a smoke 🤗 ← again…. ya mama.

I don’t have to tell you that this was a much needed trip. This is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

Self care is so important especially as a wife, mother and business owner. Free time in my house, especially with 10 children, is scarce around these parts.

I have a partnership with Dell, ADP, and was recently given the position as District Implementation Director with Black Wall Street. I have been recently published in a few magazines, guest host on a few podcasts and radio shows and I am so excited to share more in a couple of weeks.

For now I am just checking in and I Hope you are following me on social media for more. I really want you on this journey with me because I want you to live you best life too. You deserve it..

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

Homeschooling 101

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So you want to homeschool.

I often get many questions and blessings about homeschooling. It is usually followed up by statements like, “I wish I could homeschool but I don’t know where to start.” or “I don’t have the time.” Well I am here to bust both of those questions and many more in this blog to help you get started.

First, in case you do not know, I am a Business owner of a small consulting firm called Rush Consulting Firm. This business is my pride and joy. It is one I built from the ground up and am able to work anytime and anywhere. With that being said, though my schedule is very flexible, it is still a very demanding position as I wear many hats within the company. So while I can bend my schedule like some of you may not be able to, that also means I work, oftentimes, into the early morning hours of the day. I do get tired and I do get cranky but homeschooling is definitely something I am committed to. I have a cheat for those moments that will allow you a moment to breathe and regather yourself while your children still learn even without you around.

I will say right up front that I do not follow any type of curriculum, I do what I call ‘free teaching’. What that means is while there are a plethora of academic platforms to educate your children, I choose, for personal reasons, not to use any of them.

I will admit that I was thoroughly confused as to where to start and what to teach but I was, and still am, so determined to educate my children according to what I now know as an adult as well as where they are currently in the own educational position that I had to put in some creative work and research to better advance the minds of my children.

I will also forewarn you that, I am all about teaching my children self love and self respect in addition to others, which is something that is not taught in the public school, or private school for that matter, education system. I believe in positive affirmations and daily reminders of who they are and what they can accomplish while including their fellow peers.

For starters, I enrolled in Homeschool Legal Defense Association in the event that I incur any legal issues, because I’m going to be honest, as a black woman I am always mindful of my rights as a parent and I am also aware that I am still black. (That is my stance and it is not up for debate.)

Let me tell you why I pulled my children from the public school system.

My oldest son has always been an advanced honor student who had made a’s and B’s his entire life through the eighth grade, when he was enrolled in High School, I was told he had to go to a particular school which was predominately black. In my experience since moving to the south, That usually means less care (teachers not being paid their worth, struggling academically, less resources, etc) but I didn’t know then what I know now and I went along even against my better judgement because my son was smart. Well, turns out, I was correct. While there were a handful of awesome teachers and administrative staff there, my son kept coming home with straight F’s. Now I am no fool, I know my son paid a part in this as well, however, I should have known this school was not going to give my child the push I know he needed to continue to accelerate.

My other oldest was diagnosed with ADHD, I am not even going to get into that whole agenda. But due to this, he struggled in school because the teacher, due to lack of understanding and compassion, would simple place him in the back of the class, oftentimes giving him an attitude for asking questions, and write inappropriate notes on his papers and in his planner.

My oldest daughter was too smart for the level she was in and often would simply be advocated as teachers assistant to help teach her peers in class. I could already see that this was going to lead down a road to boredom and failing grades.

So, I pulled them. All 5 who were currently enrolled in the Public school system. Now there are 7 technically but of course my rule is, ‘If I’m teaching, you’re learning’ so all 9 are in class Monday through Friday with light review work on the weekends. I am free to teach my children on any level I please, because again, I do not follow any curriculum.

How do I do it? Google. Just kidding. That is my starting point however. I literally googled ‘What should my child know by the end of [whatever grade they are in]. I teach all of my children a level up and that is where the weekend review comes in, That is stuff ‘on their level’ to be sure I am not moving too fast and they know what they should.

For my littles, I go to the dollar tree and get the educational workbooks. I take them home and dismantle them into one page lessons. I separate the by grade level and I make packets that consist of 5 to 6 pages (they are front and back, so you end up with 10 to 12 pages of work. I designate the packets into their individual work spaces and in the mornings, they know to grab a packet and get started. You can do this up the fifth grade from the dollar tree but Barnes and Nobles also have activity books up to the eighth grade that you can do this with. It usually takes them anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or more to complete these daily packets. Then you can take a break or continue on teaching.

We have a Goodwill here that sells by the bulk. Thank goodness for this because its where I get most of my academic books from. I believe the books are 50 cents a pound versus 2.99 a book at regular Goodwill stores. I have every level of every book you need to graduate your child from high school and probably college. Anything from literature to microeconomics. My oldest even works from some college books we have. My children excel daily and I can see it. That is something I never experienced in public schools. We also use Khan Academy which is available on an app as well as youtube. My children utilize it for a clearer understanding of what I teach in class in addition to jumping ahead.

I signed up for ABC mouse for my 3-6 year old children but it was too easy and they breezed through it in one day, so I cancelled my subscription. I have learned that my children, and I am sure many others, learn much better in a one on one environment. And while I have nine children I teach, They still get plenty of one on one everyday.

I buy index cards and everything goes on them! Colors, shapes, numbers, sight words, alphabets, addition, subtraction, multiplication, sentences structures, you name it and I am pretty sure I have a stack of flash cards.

The state I am in mandates 4.5 hours a day of learning, and I know some of you may say, I just don’t have four hours to dedicate. Well, remember, this does not have to be a consecutive four hours but also this includes self or Montessori style teaching as well, remember those packets?

Also, trips to the grocery store can be used as a math lesson. Trips to the zoo can be a counted as a science trip. A family trip can be a geography lesson. Paying bills can be an economics lesson. So keep these little things in mind.

I have been slow to put this together because I want to make sure I cover most, if not all of your questions. It does not have to be hard. If you have a difficult child, it will do you and him/her some good to spend more time together to better learn one another. They are human too and thus have emotions. Having sessions discussing this could also be counted as a psychology lesson. <—- See what I did there?

So in closing, Be creative, take charge of your child’s growth and development. Trust me, You will never regret it! You will definitely learn as well along the way. And if you have any questions, I am always available. My contact information is on the front page of the blog.

-Rush

h

To entrepreneur or not…

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have known my entire life that I never wanted to work for someone besides myself. I also knew I was destined for, well, more. I couldn’t quite put my finger on that ‘more’ but I knew that I would know it when I seen it. At fifteen, I worked at Burger King and McDonald’s and Taco Bell. When I was seventeen I got a night job in the mail room at Corestates bank (which became First Union which became Wachovia which became Wells Fargo). I would get off at 7 am and rush down Center City to my second job, United way, and work from eight until two and then I would rush down to my first class, English, at Peirce College. My whole life has been about the hustle and bustle, which I never really minded being a city girl and all but there was nothing to show for my hard work, dedication, and drive except a very exhausted me.

In 2009 after the passing away of my daughter, Madison, I decided I needed to live! I started my company Rush Consulting Firm from literally nothing and I just kept pushing. Every time I wanted to quit I thought about the times I never quit on my bosses out of a sense of obligation. Every time I felt like I just couldn’t do it, I reminded myself of all the late nights and early mornings I pushed for companies who never even noticed my hard work. And every time I felt like a failure, I remember the courage it took to build what I have built.

I want to say that entrepreneurship is not for everyone, but I know that is not true. Even if you decide not to leave your full time job, I implore you to never give up on your dreams. Just a few minutes a day, a couple hours a week, a few weeks out the year will have you feeling more dedicated and refreshed to do more, be more, even in your everyday life. There is something amazing about giving a little bit of you to yourself that makes it all worthwhile, and if you can inspire someone along the way, even better.

I know what some of you may be thinking; Time. Let me tell you a little something about time. Time is your most valuable asset. Time is something you can choose to be generous with or selfish with. Time is something that is yours to do with as you please. Time is one of those things that you can never get back. So you can spend your life planning it or you can spend your life living it, but its your time to do with as you wish.

As a wife, mother, and serial entrepreneur, I can say that sometimes things will get hectic but for me, I choose not to make a fuss over time as long as I spend it the way I desire to. I have 9 children and I home school them all. That is in addition to running a seasonal toddler boutique where the items are made by hand, by me; I also run a successful Consulting Firm where I do everything from coaching to speaking, resumes to job placement, and, our specialty, helping people start the business they always wanted to. In addition, I host Meet and greets called Heels&Hustle where we bring together women who do, did, and want to start their business for the purpose of networking, collaborating, and mentoring. Trust me when I say that I know all about time management and that is why I believe, no, I KNOW you can do it too.

Entrepreneurship IS for everyone. Whether its full time, part time, seasonal, or weekends only, be sure to give it a go. There are people around you that believe in you and your vision and they are just waiting for the opportunity to support you. You can do it.

-Rush
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