Why do we fall?

It is a mindset that is instilled in us that when we fall, we have failed. And when we fail we are useless. When we fail we lose confidence in ourselves and we gain fear. 

I recently spoke to a friend about fear, I believe I tweeted as well. God did not give us the spirit of fear, it is something we willfully took in. You must be sure to mind your emotions and your reactions. Your reactions can get you hurt and your emotions will make you attach.

Falling does not mean failing. Only quiting after you have fallen equates that. Falling means, above all things, that you tried. Falling means you have learned what to avoid and what not to do. Falling means nothing less than I have experience, I have lived, and here I stand waiting to fall again.

Why do we fall? Because we must teach. We must lead. We must grow. Falling is a part of life. Its kind of like the glass half empty vs half full. Falling is a positive thing.

I am that type of parent who does not run to my children’s defense when they fall. When they fall they look at me and I assure them by looking at them, that I am here. But I ask them what is taking you so long to get up? Get up. Then I look them over and tell them they will be alright. I may kiss it and hug them but never (mostly depending on severity) help them up. 

I have learned, by life’s troubles, to depend on myself. No one is going to be there for you like you will. Sure, with my consulting firm I will push you and be your cheerleader but I can never give you drive and determination or the desire to succeed. It must be in you. I am hard on my friends, family, and clients because I want them to succeed. You will never succeed if I am always catching you. There is no safety net in life just your ability to bounce back. 

Have you ever fallen?

-Rush

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Raising a nation without losing your mind

Good evening my beautiful Reflections.

I have been meaning to come on here and say hello and check in but when life grabs a hold of you, honey, you just have to enjoy the ride! How are you? I hope we are all being productive with the time we have because our time spent is detrimental to our happiness.

Anyhow I am not here to lecture you, I just want to make sure you are happy where you are in life, right now.

I was recently watching a live stream of the beautiful Dr.  Stacy Patton and I felt condemned to write to you as I reflected on my own mishaps in raising my portion of a nation, the RushBunch. If you are unaware of who Dr. S. Patton is, do not worry, neither did I. This was my first time this evening and so I did some research which I will share with you.

Dr. Patton is an author, journalist and advocate for children who have been abused or neglected. In her most recent video she talks about an article she wrote awhile back for, I believe, the New York Times. It spoke about not beating [our] children. Now we all know that I am not a big advocate for beating the babies however she went into more depth as she was reading a fan letter from a white woman and her response to the article. The fan spoke about how she hears us speak to our children and her perspective. Dr. Patton spoke as response that we oftentimes speak harshly to our children as if we do not love them as an internal feeling of ‘taking up space’ or being judged. Now as ridiculous as this may sound to you, I implore you to analyze this as I did.

In my home, I speak daily to my children about empowerment and self confidence. I push them to do the things they say they cannot. But for me, this sparked a sense of condemnation in my spirit as I realize that I too do this but in public. At home they are allowed to explore and investigate. They can run around and be loud and inquisitive. But in public I am constantly saying things like, don’t walk like that, stop talking so loud, don’t touch that. Now while I still feel that some of these statements are imperative on how they conduct themselves in public, I will say that having nine children makes me uncomfortable at times in public. I get the very feeling that we do take up alot of ‘space’. We are often bombarded with stares and people counting and for that reason, I do not care to be in public often. I am far from ashamed, I just do not want to be judged more than I already am. A black woman who has no shame in displaying her disgust when made to feel belittled or statisticalized (yup, not a word but I’m using it and moving on).

I cannot believe that I seek perfection in my children in public but push them to be themselves, different, at home. Its funny the double mind we sometimes have unbeknownst to ourselves. I owe my children an apology. Which strings me to another topic but not at all relevant… Well maybe a little.

I have decided to use this huge extra room we have for our family room. I know you’re thinking, whats so big about that. Well, I’m glad you asked. This will not be that kind of family room but more therapeutic. there will be different types of seating, chairs, bean bag, cushions, etc., and this is a place where we will gather and talk out our issues with one another. There is sometimes anger among some of them and I believe they need to talk it out. I used to harbored a lot of anger and I believe I projected it onto my children. So despite the fact that McRush and I never argue and we make it a point to never debate in front of or around the children, what is embedded into their spirit is already there and I need it to be purged.

I think that it is very healthy to talk things out. I have learned that there is nothing healthy about suppressing anger. With my first son, I always taught him that if he was angry with me for chastising him, it was okay and we could talk about it, my mom didn’t really agree with that method because she is more old school. Somewhere along the lines I lost that. I find myself telling them, I don’t care if you are mad but I really do an we need to talk about it.

I am dedicated to raising a happy and healthy nation and for me that goes beyond homeschool and veganism.

-Rush

lake babies

Random, like my mind right now.

This will probably be the most random blog I have posted thus far however, but trust me, it probably won’t be the last because these pregnancy hormones have my mental stability all out of whack. I don’t know whats going on. 

Let’s start with how much I hate Saturdays. While most people look forward to Saturday and dread seeing Monday that is seldom the case for entrepreneurs  especially when you have other tasks to tackle. Its like my body expects me to have this day to wind down but is always disappointed when my brain keeps telling me to push. Unfortunately, I have been putting off creating the home school schedule in its entirety for weeks now. I’ll do a little here and a little there but consistently procrastinating because I know I can get it done last minute. Thats one of my biggest issues, I already know I can get things done in record time so I tend to put things off until the very last second. Of course, not factoring in SSB orders and RCF client follow ups, consultations, and package closures in addition to being a full time mom and wife. Not to mention lately, book orders have picked up. Ugh. Did I mentuon I hate Saturdays?

Also on my mind today is a more structured structure to the accountability portion of my children. I am a very relaxed person when it comes to my children, probably too relaxed, I have a headache right now. But one thing I do not tolerate is mediocre.  Not from my clients or my children. I expect them to put their best foot forward at all times when it comes to goals. I am the type of parent that will rip your work in half because your handwriting is sub par. I will make you ball up your book report and start over when you rush through it without effort. There was a comment made by a young lady whom stated that she did not want to homeschool her children because all the home schooled children she knew [about] were retarded. And yes she used that word. Now while I do not believe this to even be remotely true, moreso an excuse to not homeschool hers (not that I am knocking anyone who has no desire to because I am 100% Do You) but either way that will not be the outcome of mine. Which, of course, leads me to another thought. It is not hard to homeschool your children. You do not even necessarily have to go by any specific curriculum such as k12, unless you feel like that is what will work best for you and yours. I highly recommend you first register with the HSLDA, which is the Home School Legal Defense Association. It is about $30 a year per household. Then go from there. I posted a blog in May titled Homeschool 101 where I give many of the steps I use. In addition I posted some FREE sites on my facebook page to help you get started and as always, I am available for help anytime.

Also, like many people in my field often tell me, I spread myself too thin with my

 free access.  I don’t regret it because I not only love what I do but I want you to love what you do as well. I will have to figure out some type of balance but in the interim, you can always reach out to me to talk, cry, vent, consult, etc. Because I love you like I love myself.