Insomnia! REALLY?! Guh!

So with all that’s been going on with me, I have now developed a case of insomnia. Usually I welcome insomnia with open arms because I actually like to work through the still of the night. When the house is quiet, outside of McRush snoring, I can get so much accomplished which rejuvenates me to still wake up in the early morning hours because I be so damn proud of myself and I just be on GO for days! However, with a newborn that wakes every hour and a half I find myself stealing naps and mini rests every opportunity I get.

A couple weeks ago I got extremely sick. I had a 104+ temperature, chills, nausea, lethargy, a massive migraine, and a case of Gross Hematuria. I could not eat or even keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes at a time. I literally slept an entire week away. I would check in with members of my team, mostly my assistant, to be sure business didn’t skip a beat. McRush took care of home like the pro that he is. The truth is, I thought I was going to die. My anxiety was so high that I thought my heart was going to bust through my chest. It was extremely hard to calm down especially not knowing what was going on. Because of all of this I lacked nourishment to be able to produce milk to feed my daughter and somehow whatever was going on caused me to have peripheral neuropathy in my hands. I’m having a hard time. I’m pushing through, but I am definitely having a hard time.

Its crazy because with all that’s going on in the world, no matter how sick I was, my biggest fear was having to go to the hospital and never coming home. Nah, imma thug it out. And did. Between my amazing doula and McRush, here I am.

I go in to get a triple renal scan soon but until then its mini meals and taking it easy for numb Nina, my nickname since I can’t feel my hands. Lol.

I said all that to say that I think its slightly unfair that I have insomnia now. Especially since Maia is sound asleep and I am just up. But, as always, I look at the bright side of things. I was able to do some research, even though I didn’t want to. I read a big portion of this book I have and I have been able to blog and update you guys.

I’ll keep you posted but until then, keep being great. 😊

Are we recounting votes AGAIN?

Hilary Clinton lost. She got the majority of America’s vote, although not really because over 93 million people did not vote and that’s just the ones that were registered. So America is throwing a tantrum and finger pointing like a bunch of toddlers. I am definitely not a supporter of hers so I may be a little biased. She has to many hidden secrets like the fact that her husband as well as herself have close ties to pedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein, or her Klu Klux Klan friends, that is what this email controversy is all about. But even still I couldn’t care less. I mean really, tell me the last time an American President directly affected your life? They are just a puppet to sit and do what they are told. Sure, they will have great ideas, just like the rest of us, but implementing them will be close to impossible.

This is not the first time and will not be the last time that we had a president elected that we do not want, yet we still pull the same thing. We march and we protest and in the end very little changes. The Government was not created for us, especially the black us, but in this point all of us in general. We all know that Americans thrive off titles, it has even trickled down to the church which is supposed to be separate from state (yeah right). Everybody wants to feel like somebody and some of those somebodies want to tell others what to do –> enter the government.

The problem is not the president, or the president elect. The problem is the people, WE the people who have failed one another time and time again in the terms of unity and self governing. We have lost our morals and our standards and most importantly we have lost our common sense. We continue to attempt to hold one another to a standard that we fail to hold ourselves to. We have found more pleasure in watching someone else and their failure instead of being accountable for our own. We would rather be like others that we see on television or even in real life than to simple be ourselves. We are no longer happy with who we are until we are like someone else.

People watch reality television and stay glued to social media to see what someone else is doing with their life, meanwhile, ours is passing us by. We would much rather go by what someone told us instead of researching it ourselves. Learning is becoming obsolete. We push college yet will only hire people with experience. We don’t trust one another so we are constantly moving along in life with a hidden agenda. We don’t truly care about one another’s happiness and well-being, unless it directly affects us of course.

School loans are ridiculously impossible to pay back. Health insurance is almost impossible to maintain. We have people who have fought for our country living in the streets while we selfishly walk pass them without a second thought. We have homeless babies because their mom and dad cannot find a job. We have hungry children who go all summer without a decent meal while school is out because the job mom and dad do have is just barely making the bills. We have people killing one another over minor tiffs because that is how their environment has taught them to react due to poor schools, and irritated parents (you know that whole horrible/lack of job issue). Governments not willing to put money into urban areas for recreational centers, job assistance, small businesses, etc. yet steadily putting up sidewalks in deserted areas, two way street lights on one way streets, etc. in short, corrupt politicians who are allowed to hold office until death pulls them away.

We would much rather fund wars and pretend to have a war on drugs although the drugs are not only brought onto American soil by the government but also heavily guarded in places like the Mideast for private profit.

No, we would much rather protest having a woman in office that has no problem aborting babies up to their due date or defending child rapists while having pizza parties with known pedophiles and having lunch with KKK members. Perhaps we would be better off with a woman who is as emotional an indecisive as a young teenager who knows everything about life in their own little mind. Does she know the ins and outs of the government, absolutely. Is she qualified? About as much as any other lying politician, but is that what we want?

I am convinced we do not know what we want. I know some will take this to think I voted for Trump. Who did I vote for? Wouldn’t you like to know. It doesn’t matter anyhow. I have been stating for the longest that the electoral votes choose our presidency. That is why it is important to vote your local elections because the elects are supposed to vote according to our popular vote but if you don’t vote them in then, well, you get the point.

So by all means, keep protesting. You see how far its gotten us, this time I mean us a in black people.

-Rush
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Nosey black people

So I come outside to find a portion of peace with Roger (pictured below) and unbeknownst to me there are three police cars and a white car which looks like a Chevy Malibu (you can thank McRush for my knowledge of cars). Two police officers are searching the Malibu and one officer is keeping them, occupied, for lack of a better word.

There is a woman standing in her yard where the people were pulled over on her phone with an attitude, loud. Catercorner to her is a large group of people standing outside just looking. Now, I know I am going to catch plenty of backlash for this but why are you watching? You have nothing better to do? My people! Does watching the incident unfold make you feel better about your life? Does it give you something positive to converse about?

I am sure many of you, both black and white, will respond stating something along the lines of; ‘With the string of murders of our black people, we should be watching to be sure nothing happens to them.’ To that I respond, Yeah right. First of all our community has been nosing in other peoples businesses well before that with or without police presence. Second of all Β what exactly would you do if something were to happen besides grab your phone and record?

McRush hates when I categorize us in a negative manner because really, lets face it, all races have their nosey tendencies. But, I can only speak for mine because I am black, not too black according to a few of my fellow peers, but just black enough to reap some benefits.

So here I sit my beneficial behind in the grass observing the observers and blogging about it. I guess that makes me nosey too. Hmmm.

-Rush
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