Is my living in vain?

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

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How to homeschool without going crazy ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. ๐Ÿค—

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget ๐Ÿ™‚)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

Thanks for the memories FaceBook.

Facebook gets annoying with its algorithm and lack of proper refreshing of the page. Lately, I have been having to go to my personal page to see any updates on my posts because my notifications are all out of sequence. You have people friend requesting you that should clearly be spam pages and from some, I hear people are being systematically unfriended. Whats up with that? To add fuel to the fire, they are cutting back promotions.

Now that we have all of that negativity out of the way. Facebook has this awesome memory feature that populates what you posted on that day a year or more back. I love that feature because it shows growth in both thought and writing. It’s fun to see where I was mentally back in the day. unfortunately for me, I have only had facebook for a few years so my growth tracking is minimal. But I did get to see this awesome blog that I blogged four years ago and I wanted to share it with you.

‘I turned in my letter of resignation today. It is time to take my own words to heart and stop holding on because of fear. I thought that because I was pursuing my dreams of being an entrepreneur and working my 9-5 was okay as long as I kept my determination and focus. But I was only kidding myself. How can I fully be true to my greatness if a piece of me was being dedicated to someone elseโ€™s goals? How can I say stay focused if a large portion of my day was consumed with a job that has nothing to do with the path I desired to walk?

I was a hypocrite. Bottom line.

I find myself on many nights working into the wee hours of the morning typing, scripting, marketing, building my own dreams because from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon my focus was on building the dreams of my employer. I was pushing for myself but I wasnโ€™t giving 100% so I cheated myself out of 40 hours a week. I was getting the short end of the stick. I believed I was worth it but did I really?

I am telling you this because, as I stated in an earlier blog, I write to inspire you and in inspiring you I was inspiring myself. So here I stand, inspired. Determined. Relieved. Excited. Nervous. READY.
People refuse to jump for fear of failure. You wonโ€™t jump for yourself but you put your trust and security in the power of someone elseโ€™s hands because THEY wonโ€™t fail you? We have to believe that we are meant to be amazing. So BE AMAZING.

When is the last time you trusted, and I mean really trust yourself? When is the last time you gave yourself the push you know you needed and just went for it, from your soul?
We have a tendency to blame others for our failures but when will you begin to take control of your own life and accept the destiny that you know you deserve.

Look around, is that all you want? For the rest of your life?

We have to begin doing the things that are for our betterment and happiness. Stop allowing consequences to change our path to prosperity. We have to learn to trust our instincts and stop second-guessing ourselves. We have to start believing in what we set out to do. Know that with or without the support we WILL prosper. You will stand on higher ground and take a look in the mirror and smile saying to yourself โ€œI made it.โ€

Trust that you can. Believe that you will. And you shall prosper.’

I thought this was dope and hella honest so I wanted to share..

-Rush

Twitter handle is @Rush_consulting
Inspired

Words mean something.

Sitting here having a conversation with McRush about words and the root of them.

I posted a while back on Facebook that I do not teach my children to say I am sorry, I apologize, or any variation thereof. Some people feel like I am cold for having this approach, you know because people are oftentimes so quick to judge. I will admit that for the most part I can seem a little distant and skeptical until you get to know me. This stems mostly from a history of being hurt and betrayed, lied to and led on. I am very forgiving though because, I believe, you either genuinely do not know any better or I just took too long to know the real you. I have learned that I cannot concern myself with your ignorance (for not knowing better) or callousness (for not caring about me the way I did you).

While I am easily a crybaby, usually from holding things in, I am not a very emotional person. I am, however an open book. I hide nothing and that includes my discontent.

The purpose behind me not allowing my children to say I am sorry is actually two fold. First, they are my children and they are far from ‘sorry’. They are smart, outstanding, and humble little people who are finding their purpose in life, there is nothing to be sorry about. Second, by stating you are sorry, you are implying you regret what has happened when in all actuality, you shouldn’t regret anything that happens in your life.

Things happen TO you or FOR you. Either way it is a lesson learned, and without learning a lesson, you will continually repeat the same “mistake” in life until you do.

If #7 is running and swinging his arms and as he runs past #8 hits him, naturally he would look back and say “I’m sorry” but keep going. But at a better glance, he isn’t ‘sorry’ because he kept running. Stating that you regret something happen is stating that you wish in never happened AND will take precautionary measures to assure it does not happen again.

What makes your words mean something are the actions in which follow your statement. For this reason I teach my children the root of the word and SHOWING their concern rather than their regret.

In the aforementioned incident, what #7 should do is stop, turn around and check on #8 as well as seeing if there is anything he can do to make the situation better.

Words mean nothing if your actions do not support it. Learning the root of words will keep you from saying things that you really don’t mean as well as forcing you to take the time to analyze your actions and learn from them.

I do not believe you should regret anything in life. Regret serves no purpose except to weigh you down with guilt and possibly shame. I do not have time for either. This oftentimes can be misconstrued as heartless and unkind but cannot be further from the truth. I, in fact, am very kind and full of giving. Anyone who knows me can vouch for me. I just have no time for foolishness and antics when it comes to living my life. If you have ever seen the show Bones, I am Bones.

-Rush

 

Random, like my mind right now.

This will probably be the most random blog I have posted thus far however, but trust me, it probably won’t be the last because these pregnancy hormones have my mental stability all out of whack. I don’t know whats going on. 

Let’s start with how much I hate Saturdays. While most people look forward to Saturday and dread seeing Monday that is seldom the case for entrepreneurs  especially when you have other tasks to tackle. Its like my body expects me to have this day to wind down but is always disappointed when my brain keeps telling me to push. Unfortunately, I have been putting off creating the home school schedule in its entirety for weeks now. I’ll do a little here and a little there but consistently procrastinating because I know I can get it done last minute. Thats one of my biggest issues, I already know I can get things done in record time so I tend to put things off until the very last second. Of course, not factoring in SSB orders and RCF client follow ups, consultations, and package closures in addition to being a full time mom and wife. Not to mention lately, book orders have picked up. Ugh. Did I mentuon I hate Saturdays?

Also on my mind today is a more structured structure to the accountability portion of my children. I am a very relaxed person when it comes to my children, probably too relaxed, I have a headache right now. But one thing I do not tolerate is mediocre.  Not from my clients or my children. I expect them to put their best foot forward at all times when it comes to goals. I am the type of parent that will rip your work in half because your handwriting is sub par. I will make you ball up your book report and start over when you rush through it without effort. There was a comment made by a young lady whom stated that she did not want to homeschool her children because all the home schooled children she knew [about] were retarded. And yes she used that word. Now while I do not believe this to even be remotely true, moreso an excuse to not homeschool hers (not that I am knocking anyone who has no desire to because I am 100% Do You) but either way that will not be the outcome of mine. Which, of course, leads me to another thought. It is not hard to homeschool your children. You do not even necessarily have to go by any specific curriculum such as k12, unless you feel like that is what will work best for you and yours. I highly recommend you first register with the HSLDA, which is the Home School Legal Defense Association. It is about $30 a year per household. Then go from there. I posted a blog in May titled Homeschool 101 where I give many of the steps I use. In addition I posted some FREE sites on my facebook page to help you get started and as always, I am available for help anytime.

Also, like many people in my field often tell me, I spread myself too thin with my

 free access.  I don’t regret it because I not only love what I do but I want you to love what you do as well. I will have to figure out some type of balance but in the interim, you can always reach out to me to talk, cry, vent, consult, etc. Because I love you like I love myself. 

To beat their butts or not…..

I’m not here for a debate so I will just jump right into it.

As a mother to 9, soon to be 10, children, I assure you that this is the most asked questioned we get. It is usually dressed up nicely by those who try to be politically correct or just plain nosey. “How do you get them to behave?’ or “What do you use?”

The answer in my head is, none of your dang business, but I play nice and smile and say “Love.”

Believe it or not children do respond well to it. Now, please do not be misinformed, they CAN get it but it doesn’t resort to that.

I have my days when I want to pull my hair out or simply state to my husband, ..”and we have NINE”. I get headaches and I fuss. Most times I put myself in time out which is usually the attempt to hide in my closet from the littles who have not yet learned my moods and patience level.

Every time, and I do mean every time, we are out in public we are approached with statements like, “I can’t even get my two children to behave, I cannot imagine having nine”. The truth is, if you cannot get your two children to behave then you probably should have stopped at one. I know, that was harsh but you are the parent.

As for me I am the most impatient person I know and I do not accept anything less than your best and that goes for my children as well. If they are wrong, I tell them they are wrong. If they are not doing their best, I tell them that too. If they are acting like a jerk, I let them know that as well. I am really bad at sugar coating things and that goes for my children as well. I pretty much treat my children like I treat my clients. I am not here to feed you fairytales about how wonderful you are and how great the world is. I am here to tell you the truth and prepare you for an even harsher truth called life.

So I suppose by now you are like, answer the question already! So, No. No I do not beat my children into submission otherwise my life would be much simpler. My children are very well behaved in public but let me tell you something, they are absolutely barbaric at home! I mean really, flipping through the house, jumping down the stairs, running around like loose weirdos, but in public, not a peep.

There really is no secret to it at all. Do I believe children should get their butt beat? Yup. I have seen some children that I just want to beat on site, old school with an extention cord but they are not mine so I digress and mind my business like I would like people to do about mine.

Again, I definitely have my days, especially trying to work on my businesses and homeschool whilst continuing to be a good wife and mother. It is tiring and oftentimes stressful. I recently spoke with someone about this issue I have about feeling like I was going to go crazy and she suggested I, get this, get organized!!! What, the nerve! But I took her advice and spent the last week in June creating a slew of schedules that I implemented starting July 1st. And although it is only the second of July, my life has never been so smooth sailing, even before the RushBunch. We stick to those schedules like my life depends on it (because I think it does). This is the second night where nine o’clock hit and all of my children are asleep. This feels like heaven! If I keep this up, this may not be the last Rush out of me yet [LIES].

I am so grateful for her and her wise words to me. Now I am like a child in a candy store; excited to get to bed before one a.m.

My transparency because I am so tired of holding it in.

As most of you know, in late 2011 my husband lost his job. It was just weeks after I lost mine. With no income and unemployment barely paying bills, we became homeless.

We were homeless for about six months. We lived in our car and McRush picked up odd and end jobs to pay for a night or so in a hotel. We caught a break in a neighborhood that we would rather not be in but it was better than out Durango. We moved in the apartment May 31. On June 16, we received a phone call from my sister in law whom I had never met. She said my brother got locked up and she couldn’t care for their baby and waned to know if I could come get her TODAY. I said yes, she said she would call me back in a few but never did. The next day we were walking into church, yes church, we used to do that, and she called again, I told her we would be right there after service assuming she was not serious again. After church I called her and she still wanted us to come. We went home, changed clothes, and headed to Florida.

We got my niece with a few outfits and a walker. Before we jumped back on 95 to head home we stopped at the store to get diapers, bottles, and milk for her.  she was just three months older than our youngest. We tried desperately to get something in writing stating we could care for her but they never obliged and they wouldn’t come to get her either so we took them to court. They were on drugs and in the streets and frankly a child was just not in their plans. She is 5 now.

This put a slight strain on the relationship I had with my mother because she felt like she should get my niece because she was her grandmother. I felt like it was my duty to grant my brother his wish to keep his child. This ‘beef’ eventually died off, at least for me it did.

Jump to 2015.

For whatever reason, my brother and his wife decided, despite the fact that they have absolutely NO connection with my niece (whom I call my daughter), they were going to have another child. This time they had him in South Carolina. Immediately upon giving birth, child protective services was called in and they lost custody. The child was given to my husband and I upon discharge. Again, my mother felt she should have this child because she is the grandmother and at this point, I was pregnant myself and she thought I had too many children as it is.

Now backing up just a little, we let my niece stay with my mom for awhile (1 year) and when we wanted her to come home she was livid. so keep in mind that added fuel to this new issue which was happening almost simultaneously.

So we now have custody of my nephew. My mom said some very harsh things to me and about me. Most of them were not true and were spewed out of anger. I maintained my respect for her and let her say what she wanted because I am a coward. I have always been a coward. I have let people use and abuse me mentally, physically, and most of all emotionally. I have always been the punching bag and I  never strike back. It has taken me all my life to realize I do not deserve this and that the only way to move forward with peace happiness and harmony is to cut ties. It hurts like hell but for once in my life I have to be truly happy.

In my line of work, I have to motivate people on a constant and consistent basis. I tweet empowerment often, but what people do not know is those tweets are really for me. They keep my going and they keep me in good spirits.

It is time for me to give back to me.

My mother is not the only one. Just know this. I am getting to old to continue to endure pain pointlessly. I implore you to do the same.

-Rush

Secrets of a mother to 9

I have no idea what to blog but I felt compelled to get on anyway. Perhaps it is my slight guilt of not being able to keep in contact via blog. Or maybe it is the fact that I am bored out of my mind.

I do have a confession though. Although I am an established business owner and serial entrepreneur, I have never want to be either. What I have always wanted was to help people and to be rich. I just found a way to incorporate my wants with people’s needs. I REALLY want to be rich though. Just kidding. I am rich. No but for real, I love helping people reveal to themselves, maybe even for the first time they deepest most hidden goals. The smiles on their faces when this comes to fruition is priceless. I love it. I love seeing people smile and be happy. Happiness drowns out so much pain and sorrow its like a drug, but legal, I don’t know how long it will be legal but its legal none-the-less.

What I have always wanted to do is start a shelter. Not just any type of shelter but a shelter with long term assistance both in and out. I never understood the concept of having to check out at the crack of dawn at a shelter. I mean it is very commendable that you give so many broken and lost individuals a place to lay their heads but then what? It would seem to me that you are simply keeping your business funded. You get funding by need. Homeless people need somewhere to rest at night. The end. But what are you doing to assist them with getting back on their feet? Getting a job? Going back to school even? I suppose with that type of assistance you wouldn’t have many people needing you after too long, so you simply give them a cot, a sheet, and a pillow. I am in no way attempting to knock the efforts of these places, I am simply saying, people need more help.

I speak from experience. I have been there, hell, I’m just about there right now with my family while we await the closing of our home. But, I know my hearts desires will be met soon and you can volunteer if your heart is in the right place.

That’s all.

-Rush
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Family vacation my FOOT!

So I have been off of here for a few days and there is so much that I would like to share with you guys, my thoughts, interactions, and goings-ons, that I am going to have to post a few blogs tonight just to catch up.

Let us start with this “family vacation” we have recently gone on……..

I do not even know where to start but let me first say that whoever came up with the term FAMILY vacation was obviously delusional in every aspect of the matter. At no point during our trip to Myrtle Beach did I feel or have the remote inkling that I was on vacation. There was nothing that I did that said vacation. I will admit though that everything said, family.

We were blessed to be able to get a room for a very reasonable rate that had a kitchenette in it. There was a pool right outside our door and the beach was like a 45 second walk. The customer service was awesome. The keep was exceptionally pleasant and I even messed up a plate and they did not charge me for it (mostly due to the fact that I was honest and brought it to their attention first). The best part is they were a family and couples only hotel which meant everyone was civilized and respectful of one another. The best part was they never one time turned their noses up or turned us down once they found out that we have 9 children; this is especially a rarity for us when we travel.

Now, the trip. While I felt very extended while away because i was not only doing the same everyday things that I do at home, I had to do them in tighter living quarters and if you know me you would know that I hate clutter and cluttered situations but I digress for the good of the trip. I still had to get up and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still taught school and created daily lessons, I still worked for one of my clients (which I will not do ever again), and I still had to pack, unpack, and clean. This has brought me to the sad conclusion that no matter where I am I will always be slave, er, I mean mom.

My children are spoiled to the max and I am okay with that sometimes; on vacation is NOT one of those times.

I am just whining. Although I still felt like the nanny-cook-housekeeper-slave, the smiles and enjoyment from my children makes it all worth it. We went to the beach that my children beg to go to all the time but when we get there, they remember that they are deathly afraid of the water. The laughter I get from that alone makes the trip worthwhile. Lol. Likewise with the pool. Sai almost drowned in 3 feet even though he is 4 foot 2 inches tall. I laughed so hard at his dramatics that I almost forgot to save him (so his brother jumped in to do it). I kept yelling stand up but he was too busy being dramatic. And before you flood me with the fact that it is possible for him to drown in three feet while being over four feet tall, yes, I am well aware of that but if you knew Sai you would totally see why it was funny.

In the end (and even some parts of during) I did thoroughly enjoy the trip <—— (notice I didn’t say vacation). It was fun plus I got to hit some cool Thrift Stores on the way home.

 

-Rush

Lost in a relationship.

No. My relationship is not in trouble, just a few thoughts I have been pondering from watching other people.

There are several things that turn a relationship sour. There is not a top of the list and no one thing that is better or worse than the other. I believe all of these issues are attributable to the demise of a relationship. I have been in relationships where some of these were a factor and I have been in a relationship that possessed all of them…stupid ex. But after all the tears and anger, I managed to come out stronger than I thought I ever would and I am able to consult and encourage those who are. Alas, as much as I dislike what I was taken through in life I owe my success to it. Pay attention because this is free advice that I normally charge $50 an hour for. I, at this point, am just tired of seeing our black men badger our black women on their big mouths and bad attitudes; their lack of subordination and respect. I am also tired of seeing our black women badger our black men on their inconsistencies and inabilities to keep them happy; Their lazy and selfish ways. Both sides are angry and both sides are hurt and I think it about time we meet at the round table to discuss our issues and the roots that plague us.

Lets start with the list. [Lack of] communication, respect, compassion, and honesty. The root; poor upbringing from our parent’s poor upbringing from their parent’s poor upbringing, etc.

How many of us can honestly say that our parent(s) taught us about being a good mate? How many have discussed it with us that it is important to not carry the aforementioned characteristics? Even the more, how many of us had examples of what a healthy two parent household relationship should look like? There is your root that is more than likely their root and so on.

We forget that we are one people. Men want to be able to come home and relax. They want a good meal and conversation. They want to be able to unload and unwind from the struggles, worries, pains, and injustices of their day. They want to be held and told that everything will be alright. They want to feel at home. But here is the kicker.. So do women. We forget that we face the same issues in our daily lives, its just painted differently. We do not know how to communicate that to each other. Your wife does not want to nag you to death, she wants you to understand that she had a rough day too. and when neither one can civilly communicate with each other they search elsewhere for someone who will let them release. We do not respect that we both go through the same trials in life just trying to get ahead. We are so angry at the world that we get angry at each other for not being there. We are not honest with one another. When something is bothering you tell her/him, don’t just say ‘nothing’ or ‘I’m fine’, that is dishonesty. Learn to pour your heart out to the person you pour your soul into during intimacy. You are one, how can you be mad at yourself and never seek to resolve the issue. LISTEN. Don’t just hear the words and wait to interject your opinion/disagreement by taking mental ‘get-back’ notes. What your mate has to say needs to be heard because they are worth it. Aren’t they?

By not respecting one another and being there for one another we are continuing the cycle of our own extinction. It is a hard journey for us all but just because you hurt on the left and I hurt on the right does not make my pain any less important than yours. It starts with a conversation and continues on by passing the gathered information.

So who’s going to meet me at the round table? There is plenty of room.

 

-Rush

usies