Oh this is a wild one because it varies even in my life.
My life goes so fast I don’t even realize I had fun until I’m talking to somebody about it. 🤷🏾♀️
When I was younger, the five things I did for fun was club hop, drink, hang out with my best friend which probably entailed flirting with some random guys, joy ride with no destination, and people watching. You know, when you critique the people walking by while we sat on the patio. 🤣
As I got older, the five things that I like to do would absolutely bore the younger me. Researching which usually sends me down a ridiculous rabbit hole that will last for weeks until I get an explanation I am satisfied with. Reading, learning new languages, actually resting my body, and sleep. Its sounds like a laid back life but its so exciting. 🫣
NOW, in addition to those things, I do anything that makes a memory. With my husband, my children, and my friends. This includes things I would never think of like skydiving.
I feel like, at 47, married and with 12 children, I have already lived a full life so now my “fun” focus is on creating memories to hold my loved ones through the grief of me no longer being here.
For example, I spent new years eve this year dressed all up and having a tea party with my littlest girls, 3, 5, and 6. That’s my new fun.
Fun is what you make it and making things fun IS fun.
This is such a good question to which there are many avenues to the right answer.
Some will say compassion. Compassion is good but can lead to someone who may bend the rules or look the other way. Compassion means that you are leading with emotion, which Compassion is, and that is not a good thing overall as a leader.
Some will say honesty. Also good, but honesty can be brutal if not given the right way under the right circumstances with the right person. That’s just too many variables to lay on a leader as a sole quality.
Some will say work ethic. This is a great but oftentimes does not balance out for a good leader. Having a great work ethic is good for a business but being a leader isn’t about business, its about leading.
Bottom line is, there are many points that will go into being a good leader but really, it depends on the type of leader you need.
Any attribute desired for this “good leader” must be divisible. Meaning he or she must know when to apply the qualities of each and just how much.
Overall, a good leader should have a sense of discernment so that they can take any quality they have and apply it to a particular situation as needed.
It’s been a tough week. It’s only Friday. So I’ll be uploading this on Sunday. Giving nothing else exciting happens before Sunday. This will be all I have.
This week was chaotic. Giving the Political nature of everything going on. It’s a lot. I actually have a trip planned next month to go to DC for a get together. I am strongly considering not going because of all of the threats and so many moving pieces going on with DC. I’d rather not be anywhere near any part of that, so I probably won’t go.
As for for those who don’t know, I have recently put my homeschooled children in school this year because they really wanted to experience it. And so I have a 12th grader, a 10th grader. A seventh grader, a sixth grader, a fourth grader, a second grader, a first grader, a K4, and a K3 in school right now.
None of this is sitting right with me. It’s just there’s too much going on and then it’s little things in addition to the whole world chaos of things going on.
My 12th grader is graduating obviously, in a few months and that was her main reason for wanting to go to school. She wants to walk the stage with her peers. And so, I fully understand that and since she wants to go, of course, everybody else wants to go. So that’s how this wound up happening. She found out today that the school has bed bugs and a section of the school had a bed bug outbreak. And so now she has to come home and wash all her stuff. Which of course means we have to wash everything in the house. So this weekend will be all about cleaning everything. Linen, laundry, rooms, walls, carpet, just everything. So I think that stressed me out a little bit.
And then my 10th grader. For whatever reason, he’s a little Advanced, he is 13 in the 10th grade.
And so, he’s like the “kid”, you know, everybody’s taking him in and taking him under their wing, which is cool. The teachers think it’s, you know, phenomenal, obviously But somehow there’s a rumor going around that my son sells drugs in school. I can guarantee you that my son has never even seen drugs.
So I know every parent is like, oh my child would never. And while I am not quite a helicopter parent, but I know everything to my children are doing at all times and this particular child doesn’t even leave the house. So, Yeah, there’s that. So I don’t feel comfortable about that with him being a black child in a public school and a rumor swirling around that he’s a drug dealer.
Then we go on to my seventh grader, girl, who had a hard time fitting in initially, she’s very much a tomboy and I mean, Tomboy, from my era, you know, dress baggy. Hang out with boys, play basketball. Love football. Um, she’s not really into the girly stuff. Although she wears eyeliner and mascara, she wears her bracelets and her earrings. But she’s constantly being called a stud which makes her very uncomfortable. So that’s her experience.
Then we have my sixth grader, he’s Heavy, you know, my mom calls him tank and he is being bullied for being overweight in school. And it is affecting his social interactions as well as his grades. He’s becoming reclusive. So that’s the Middle School experience.
And then, we have the elementary school experience. My fourth grader was just told that if he said the word “Bumbaclot” 1 more time in school that he was going to be suspended. Because, Apparently it is some kind of cuss word in today’s culture and I don’t know about anybody else but has always been this, you know, fun word to say, As a child, you know, it sounds funny. You can’t say it without an accent, which is cool. It could mean a plethora of things because it’s interchangeable. I don’t know the exact history of Bumbaclot, but I do know that we said it a lot in different situations in schools, so it’s not a new word but apparently, the teacher thinks that it’s some new word that’s circulating on social media that basically means, You’re going to kick somebody’s ass.
Now, I may not know what Bumbaclot means indefinitely, but I know that it doesn’t mean that. So that’s my fourth graders experience. Then we travel down to my second graders experience and he didn’t want to go to school in the first place because he’s just recently been diagnosed with seizures. And so, you know, we have to keep a close eye on that. And, by the grace of God, we have been assigned a teacher whose daughter suffered from seizures so she knows how to keep an eye out.
We had a conversation and so she knows what to look out for. So I find that very helpful, indeed.
But, because of this, he’s been very hesitant to go to school and it’s also made him kind of retract on the things that he does, because he’s always scared that he’s going to have a seizure. So playing football and basketball, you know, even outside on his bike. He’s very apprehensive in doing, you know because he just doesn’t know when it’s going to hit which none of us do. But he’s been put on some medication. It’s a little bit under control, so there’s that. Then we have my first grader, who loves all things school, but she is becoming such a bully, and she’s picking up things at school that are just not sitting well with me or the rest of the family at all. And then we have the K4 who’s also picking up a few bad habits, but nothing too bad. Then we have our K3, the baby girl. She, for the past week and a half, has been crying every day being dropped off at school. Normally she is bubbly. Happy & excited to see her teachers. But you know, I can’t pinpoint anything that has happened. Maybe she’s just overall tired of getting up going to school being away from home because she’s 3 and its a new experience for her. So I don’t know but given all of their individual circumstances and issues and their collective issues as well as the political issues. I’m really trying hard to keep them in school even if just For the social experiment of it all and the learning experiment of it all. Honestly just the peace and quiet that I have in the house when they’re not here from 7 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
And then to top it off, I have an excruciating migraine. I don’t know if its the stress of what’s going on in the world or just being in limbo about my babies being in the school system.
🤷🏾♀️
I do want yo let you know that up until this point, I did speak to text so if there are any typos, please charge it to my laziness. 🥴 I’ll read it over but I make no promises.
Are you a homeschooling parent or a public/private school parent? Whats the best part, of either, for you?
So, the prompt is “Where can you reduce clutter in your life?”. As a wife and mom of 12, this is so on par for me because anything in excess with a family my size is clutter. So, quarterly we do an entire overhaul. Kitchen, living room, bathrooms, and rooms. But as far as the children in addition to that, if they haven’t used it in a month- trash. If its been tucked away for 6 months- trash. If they have lost interest- trash.
And I know someone is going to say “how wasteful of you”. And to that I say…. bite me. 🤣
I give away what I can and really only buy what we need so its not as drastic as it sounds. I also indulge my children in their hobbies and ideas. But, you know children, given the space to expand and change their minds, they will. They don’t feel obligated to stick to something that no longer brings them joy. It allows for growth and deeper learning of themselves.
Spoiled? Sure. On my dime and I do what I want sooooo… 🤷🏾♀️
If you’re not using it, its trash. Keeping in mind that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Just not through Goodwill. 🥴
I don’t know what my mission is. Half the time I’m questioning whether God even exists. I would like to leave a legacy but isn’t that vain? “I want to live a life that people will remember me”. You don’t find that suspicious? Im just living with the goal to make memories with the ones I love so that they have happy memories to get them through their grief. That’s it. If I make a trillion dollars I’d probably give it away. If I find myself poor, I’ll live in a box analyzing the decisions I made that got me there. So what is a mission for? Im not Ethan Hunt. 🤷🏾♀️
Just my two cents which by the way aren’t worth much because we canceled pennies. 🥴
Nothing personal that makes it trash just the fact that I feel like I’m living in the George Orwell book, 1984 as we coast into the life of a handmaids tail because what in the actual fuck is going on?
Okay, political rant over.
The first day of 2026 I was all dressed up and no where to go. I mean DRESSED! Two weeks prior I had bought a new dress and a cute dressed down outfit. I let McRush know that I wanted to go somewhere to bring in the new year. I reminded him even. And on new years night, he was barely keeping his eyes open at 9. I got dressed anyway because I know he’d say I wasn’t ready. But at 11:18 he rouses up to get ready. I am pissed but calm. I know there is no way that we’ll get anywhere in time nor will we enjoy ourselves.
I tell him nevermind and I decide to have a tea party with my little girls. The excitement and smiles on their faces not only made it worthwhile but also made me question why I’d rather be anywhere else.
It was at that moment that I was reminded that I am in control of my life and always have a choice. But also, wait. What I think I want may not be what I need. I love that for me.
But also, I’m not accepting crumbs anymore. So I definitely had a conversation with McRush, not to make him feel inadequate or guilty but just open communication so we know how to continue to move forward in life, happily.
One thing I will tell you is that if you lack communication skills and self accountability you are in for a very rough ride in life.
With that being said somebody go talk to the president because Gaht DAMN!
I blog, when I get the chance, about my everyday life as a wife and mother. However, I journal about my struggles therein. Why do I do this? Oftentimes I’m sad about my lack of accomplishments, frustration in my marriage, or discontent of my business ventures.
I do this to compartmentalize or so I tell myself. But really, I do it to avoid my family from being embarrassed. To be honest, it’s not good for my mental health. I oftentimes feel like I am a fraud or doing a disservice by telling half truths. Those who know me know that I pride myself on being fully transparent. An open book if you may. So, I feel like I am offering the good parts of me to the public, via my blog while internalizing my failures in private. While that makes sense in a generalized way, to create a blog around this conception is merely a lie.
Starting today, I will share my whole truth.
I started blogging as a way to release the day from my mind and my heart but it hasn’t helped because I was only showing the brighter parts of my life. I believe that is why I blog infrequently.
When I was younger I used to get kicked out of my room because I loved to write. Like all day. I would journal my emotions, write poetry about my dreams, and even dabble in writing songs about my projected future. I learned that it helped me cope with everyday issues. Putting my emotions and thoughts on paper helped me make more sense of everything in the world around me. That is why I wanted to start a blog. Initially, I shied away from being so transparent because I didnt want my family to feel hurt or embarrassed by my words, thoughts, or emotions. But that is doing a disservice to me. And the blog is about me.
I have struggled with this decision because I am always aiming to make the people around me happy but I have learned that I am just sacrificing another piece of myself. At this point I feel like there aren’t that many pieces of me left. I have to fix that.
Working on myself is a daily thing and I can’t build myself up if I am always missing pieces of the ladder.
I titled this blog “weight of the day” because Cameron asked how much days until Christmas to which his father replied you cannot weigh a day. And although his question was worded improperly, I do believe that you can weigh a day. It can be a heavy day, full of tasks and to-do or the burdens of the day. Or it can be a light day, with nothing to do or even a day planned out and running smoothly.
The weight of my day, today, is heavy. There is a lot to do but no desire to do it. There is a lot that I don’t want to do but must as a wife and mother. Perhaps I will take a moment for me. Maybe I’ll get a pedicure. It’s not a fun thing for me but a necessity as my nails have grown out and the color (orange) is fading. While it may seem like a pampering moment, for me, it’s just another thing on my to-do list. Atleast I’ll have an hour where no one is asking me to do anything.
This year started off so slowly but suddenly sped up. 😬
I decided, against my better judgment, to put the children in school this year instead of homeschooling. I still have mixed feeling about it. At the very start of the year there were threats of school shootings, knives being found on students, and daily police checks and lock downs. As this school year has progressed my children have shown me that them going to school is nothing more than some type of popularity contest and days filled with drama and bullying. I hate it. But, I allowed them to go because they wanted to try it out. 🥴
I will say that having all of the children out of the house for the day has been a nice reset for me. I have been working from home part time for a friend doing data entry, billing, and payroll. I have also decided to start my consulting firm back up in January. 😊
I am Hella excited about running my business again and with 10 years of experience now under my belt, I have a better idea of the dos and donts. I also decided to niche in and will no longer be working with start ups. 🥹
With that being said, I am now at a loss on whether or not I will keep them in school. The business, especially at launch, will need a lot of focus from me and them being in school is helpful. But, I still do not care for what and how they are learning. Also, teachers in general do not care the way they used to although I understand that children are not as mindful and respectful as they used to be.
I hate the circle of friends they have. I hate the demeanor they have now. And I definitely hate the habits they’ve picked up. I oftentimes wonder if that is on me because, logically speaking, if I did a better job parenting they would be more prone to be who they are instead of showing up to impress. I don’t know. Perhaps I’m overtaking and taking on too much self accountability. 🤷🏾♀️
I am aiming to dial them back but I know that’s not an easy feat so I am definitely not looking forward to that.
Most people wonder how I manage to do so much. I used to refer them to the cliche that we all have the same twenty four hours in the day and that you have to make better use of your time.
The truth is, it’s hard some days and, as the older folks would say,”just keep on living”. Turns out, we don’t (technically) have the same twenty four hours in a day. We can easily stretch our hours by delegating the work load ultimately duplicating hour by hour depending on what we are doing.
That’s the trick. Yeah there are only twenty four hours in a day but if I am able to hire a cleaning company to do my two o clock chores then I can do my three o clock reading at two giving me free time at three. Does that make sense?
Now, while I don’t have a cleaning company, yet because it’s definitely on my list, I do have a husband and older children that I may delegate some things to like folding the laundry or taking out the trash.
Contrary to popular belief though, I rarely call on my children because I aim to stay away from the idea that my older children raise my younger children. Tuh. I gotta pay these jokers for a favor. Outside of keeping their room clean and doing their schoolwork that are moochers. And I mean that in the most loving way possible. But seriously, what helps me most is structure. Not too much because I want my children to enjoy their childhood. The structure is for me. If I sleep in then I need to expect the workload to be heavier because now I have fewer hours to get everything done. Accountability is a big deal to me so I can’t get mad at anyone but myself if I don’t get the things done that I planned on doing in a timely manner.
I give myself grace though because I know I put a lot on myself so when I rest I have zero guilt about it. I am never too busy for me.
Being a wife and mother isn’t always easy but it doesn’t have to be hard.
I decided recently to adopt a motto that I thought of earlier this week.
I was coming from a midday doctor’s appointment, no, I am not pregnant. I was getting a check up after getting some blood work done. It’s okay, I’m fine.
I realized that I hadn’t eaten so I thought that perhaps I would swing by Taco Bell on the way home and get a taco. Yes, just one taco because I was trying to see if I was really hungry or just likes the idea that I could eat something without sharing. #momLife
Anywho. As I turned the corner, I saw a young man, maybe early thirties, holding a sign saying he’d fallen on hard times and anything would help. The desire was there for me to give and so was the sadness in realizing that I didn’t have it to give. I normally keep a couple dollars on me for such an occasion, but not today. All I could think about is, o was just relishing in the moment of having a taco by myself and now I felt completely guilty of my privilege.
Suddenly, I whispered to myself, you know kind of like when people say the Lord told me, if you don’t have it to give, you don’t have it to splurge.
Some may say that I was convicting myself but really, in today’s economy, I really don’t have it to splurge. It felt like the right thing. I could eat at home and he could not.
I remember a younger me that would have pulled over and taken him to get something to eat but, sadly, times have changed. I wish they didn’t. Being a woman, a black woman, out in the streets alone is unsafe enough. It would be unwise to invite more possible scenarios.
This was four days ago and I still see that man on the other side of town, the other side of life, in my mind.
It was a gentle reminder to be kind and be ready to give at all times. It’s how I was raised and how I raise my bunch. I’ll be sure to remember to keep my blessing cash in the side of my wallet. The fact that at least the 5 cars ahead of me also gave nothing makes it worse. I know we may not always have it to give but when we do, we should.
My new motto, if I don’t have it to give then I don’t have it to splurge. Y’all be easy out there. ❤️
JustAskMaia 