To beat their butts or not…..

I’m not here for a debate so I will just jump right into it.

As a mother to 9, soon to be 10, children, I assure you that this is the most asked questioned we get. It is usually dressed up nicely by those who try to be politically correct or just plain nosey. “How do you get them to behave?’ or “What do you use?”

The answer in my head is, none of your dang business, but I play nice and smile and say “Love.”

Believe it or not children do respond well to it. Now, please do not be misinformed, they CAN get it but it doesn’t resort to that.

I have my days when I want to pull my hair out or simply state to my husband, ..”and we have NINE”. I get headaches and I fuss. Most times I put myself in time out which is usually the attempt to hide in my closet from the littles who have not yet learned my moods and patience level.

Every time, and I do mean every time, we are out in public we are approached with statements like, “I can’t even get my two children to behave, I cannot imagine having nine”. The truth is, if you cannot get your two children to behave then you probably should have stopped at one. I know, that was harsh but you are the parent.

As for me I am the most impatient person I know and I do not accept anything less than your best and that goes for my children as well. If they are wrong, I tell them they are wrong. If they are not doing their best, I tell them that too. If they are acting like a jerk, I let them know that as well. I am really bad at sugar coating things and that goes for my children as well. I pretty much treat my children like I treat my clients. I am not here to feed you fairytales about how wonderful you are and how great the world is. I am here to tell you the truth and prepare you for an even harsher truth called life.

So I suppose by now you are like, answer the question already! So, No. No I do not beat my children into submission otherwise my life would be much simpler. My children are very well behaved in public but let me tell you something, they are absolutely barbaric at home! I mean really, flipping through the house, jumping down the stairs, running around like loose weirdos, but in public, not a peep.

There really is no secret to it at all. Do I believe children should get their butt beat? Yup. I have seen some children that I just want to beat on site, old school with an extention cord but they are not mine so I digress and mind my business like I would like people to do about mine.

Again, I definitely have my days, especially trying to work on my businesses and homeschool whilst continuing to be a good wife and mother. It is tiring and oftentimes stressful. I recently spoke with someone about this issue I have about feeling like I was going to go crazy and she suggested I, get this, get organized!!! What, the nerve! But I took her advice and spent the last week in June creating a slew of schedules that I implemented starting July 1st. And although it is only the second of July, my life has never been so smooth sailing, even before the RushBunch. We stick to those schedules like my life depends on it (because I think it does). This is the second night where nine o’clock hit and all of my children are asleep. This feels like heaven! If I keep this up, this may not be the last Rush out of me yet [LIES].

I am so grateful for her and her wise words to me. Now I am like a child in a candy store; excited to get to bed before one a.m.

I never knew.

Hello Gems!!!

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted and a little more than that since I had a rant but….here it goes.

Did you know that I was not light skinned or skin, or skint (smh). Apparently a few women whom deemed me unqualified to speak out for people, my people, because I am brown skinned and therefore I am somehow in a category that places me in a realm of privileged.

Now, I do not necessarily refute this but being an entrepreneur I have not had to endure this in the working world. A young lady posted about light skinned people basically carrying their privilege around with heads touted 聽in the air 聽proudly. I made the mistake of commenting on her post stating that we need to stop allowing the divide within our race and stand together. I gave an example of my cousin and the trauma she went through and ultimately spilling my own beans out of frustration and bewilderment as to how they just did not get it. Well, let me tell you, these ladies had a field day demeaning my complexion (or my thoughts of it) as well as my character, views, intelligence, etc. I looked on in amazement that the fact that I was speaking in unity and NOT dark skinned was an issue. I HONESTLY do not know how what I was saying was taken so far out of context in a matter of minutes. Now, I LOVE my extra dose of melanin people, their complexion is so very beautiful to me but these particular ladies attitude… straight horrible. I never one time demeaned anyone or their views, I was even agreeing with them but please do not get it twisted, I am still black. I was raised to not speak to people in a manner I did not want to be spoken to. This conversation had my heart beating so fast and my palms sweaty. Why do we scream out BLACK LIVES MATTER yet continue the divide within our own race? No. One. Else. Does. This. Not like we do. but we want equality and justice but we continue to rob, kill, and destroy one another. We cannot even respect ourselves to stand united. What are we going to do with equality? Yes I am aware it exists but don’t blame me for it. I did not Write a memo to God stating I will only go to earth if you make me…..smh.

So, I open up the dialogue for advice and conversation. I am posting the conversation below. But first this:

“You must use the dark skin slaves vs. the light skin slaves and the light skin slaves against the dark skin slaves” -Willie Lynch

post on facebook: ‘Okay so I’m still mad, how does a person deal with opression everyday and then still fix their mouth to say someone else’s opression doesn’t exist because it’s one form they don’t experience? I’m calling out all light skin people, do fucking better. If I catch you I will come for you, with all of the fury I have stored in this short fluffy body I swear!’ (I left the typos intentionally as to not tamper with her words)

My (along with everyone else’s reply. ( I will try to remove names because I do not want anyone confronting these ladies because they are still my sisters)

Me:

Maisha Rush 馃憖 the biggest problem, in my opinion, is how WE as black women choose to seperate our struggles! We are all black no matter what the complexion. We all have issues that we shouldn’t have to go through but intead of supportinng one another we try to demean one another in attempts to exemplify how our light skin isssues are bigger than our dark skin issues and vice versa. I watched as my dark skin cousin was constantly told that she was pretty for a dark skin girl girl. Meanwhile I was being rejected because I was so called light skin and proceeded to have a nasty attitude by thinking I was better than someone else. I have seen the problems from both spectrums and her problem was not bigger than my problems and my problems were not bigger than her problems, but collectively WE had a problem as black women. There is too much division. Smh it is time out for this, like literally, we are being killed in drones and here we sit sulking and complaining about complexion issues. #PettyMinds
LikeReply211 hrs

 

Hide 51 Replies
Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root ‘Both sides’? Nah
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush ????? My point exactly. You’re focusing on a statement I made that you do not agree with instead of seeing my point… smh. I digress. You’d rather be argumentative than objective. We have to do better.
LikeReply111 hrsEdited

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush So does racism go ‘both ways’ too?
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Nope. Black people aren’t racist, they are defensive.
LikeReply111 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush We can only be biased in reference to the initial comment I made.
LikeReply11 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush Same with dark-skinned black women.
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Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I get that. I cried with my cousin. Defended my cousin. FOUGHT for my cousin. I get it, hell, I almosted hated light skin people in the midst of it. It is sad. I love her melanin, even more than she did. Our relationship was cut off because she one day decided to hate me too, even still not loving herself. So yes, despite your opinion, I have seen the pain from both spectrums ( light vs dark).
LikeReply111 hrsEdited

 

Ebony Murphy-Root

Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush There is no ‘both spectrums’.

And colorism is not the result of ‘low self esteem’ and ‘even still not loving yourself’. I can understand why she stopped talking to you though, if this is how you talked to her. Would you be friends with a white person who told you racism was a result of not loving yourself enough? Can you truly not hear how obtuse that sounds?

UnlikeReply1011 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush What are you even talking about? I’ve never once mentioned how I spoke to my cousin all I did was uplift her and encourage her and tell her how beautiful she was and how she didn’t have to listen to the things that people were saying about her. I only speak now about knowing botj spectrums because I seen the pain that she went through and I know the pain that I went through and my bottom line is we are black women, we need to uplift and encourage and Inspire one another learn to be there for each other. I have no idea what you THINK you read but I impore you to re read. I never said one was better than the other or she should not feel the way she felt after suffering the name calling. I just reminded her. How beautiful she was. She will even tell you that. Tje reasom she atopped talking to me is because she could not see past the pain and she apologized to me for that. So please do not come for me because you misinterpreted what I said. All you had to do was ask for clarification instead of attacking my opinion.
LikeReply211 hrsEdited

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild *rolls eyes at folks who purposely miss the point*
LikeReply711 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Furthermore it would. Seem you are being argumentative for the same reason. #JimCrow got us by the balls.
LikeReply111 hrs

 

Kio Shaala Sapey
Kio Shaala Sapey I agree with you coming from a 3girl household with 3 extreme variations of skin tones. Thank good my mother called out every ignorant comment directed and it taught is to love our differences and embrance them.
UnlikeReply211 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root

Ebony Murphy-Root Maisha Rush LOL I’ll take definition B

Ebony Murphy-Root's photo.
UnlikeReply211 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush @ Heather Lovechild I totally agree. However society says otherwise. I have been arguing about it all my life. But thanks for the verification.
LikeReply211 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Getting tired of being told I am too light to know the real struggles but too dark to reap the privileges.
LikeReply211 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Sigh lightskin privilege is a thing, it has nothing to do with being “division” just as much as talking about racism isn’t divisive. Being too light doesn’t bar you from jobs. It doesn’t make you a target for violence among other things. You will lose nothing by confronting your privilege to help our darkskinned sisters in their struggles. Light skinned people are told they think they are better because of their light skin, dark skinned women get compared to animals and insects and dehumanized completely the struggles aren’t the same. Just like it’s not the same when a black person calling a white person cracker as the white person say the n word.
UnlikeReply1410 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Thats what everyone thinks (referring to jobs) but plenty of my friends (purposely taking myself out of the equation for aforementioned reasons) who did not get a job because they were black. Regardless the complexion, you are still black. Thats what they see. The biggest division in the color scale is our own. But you are correct, affirmative action would pull the lightest brightest
LikeReply110 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Again it’s been proven that if they believed you are mixed you are twice as likely to be hired then those who don’t come of as such. Your reply is Ill informed
LikeReply610 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush My reply can’t be ill informed when it is my experience and opinion…
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Erm pardon me for interrupting but uh Maisha.. you ain’t even light skint. 馃
UnlikeReply510 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Andrea Seals I am aware of that and have already stated and agreed. However I have not always been this tanned and I was speaking of my younger years. Thanks for the dig though…. smh
LikeReply210 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals I think we need to start remembering there is the third category of being brown skint. 馃槀 Not being dark isn’t automatically light. Seems to happen a lot lately.
LikeReply810 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Not a dig I promise.
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India Camille Viguerias
India Camille Viguerias Lmao opinion can be ill informed look at white people. They also voice from their opinions and experience, due to their privilege they are also more like to miss judge the severity of an issue.
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Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I promise I did not come on here to argue (or be reminded I am not light/dark) just voicing my opinion like everyone else.
LikeReply210 hrs

 

India Camille Viguerias
LikeReply210 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
Ebony Murphy-Root Andrea Seals Yes, but there is being dark and ‘not dark’. Being ‘not dark’ is the privileged category for skin color.
UnlikeReply610 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Definitely Eb. Dark skint here. Lately just too many folks love claiming light when it’s not true. Even looking at the 4 of us here, India is the only one actually light skinned. The rest of us would all be “dark” because people are too lazy to think otherwise. But you and I actually are, Maisha is somewhere in the middle. All relative.
LikeReply510 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush How bout we work together so its not a privilege category. It seems I am being attacked because I am brown skin and now know no struggle.. my initial comment was said to say we have to unite ourselves so we can stand together instead comments were made inside and outside of this post about how I was not light skinned to which I never said that I was. I believe that is a big problem because instead of unifying we are still dividing. But thats fine, maybe not you and me. But one day we will. Be blessed my loves.
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals No ones attacking you for being brown. We don’t care, you’re brown. Just stating the right category lol. Have a nice day.
LikeReply310 hrs

 

Rachel Chance

Rachel Chance Her problems are bigger than yours, when she is at an increased risk for abuse and discrimination. You’re being ignorant, stubborn, and obtuse.

It isn’t about separating struggles, but acknowledging the nuances of oppression.

LikeReply810 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I have 9 children of every complexion and I will disagree because when I moved to a new neighborhood when I was younger I was beat up everyday for being lighter. My daughter used to Come home crying because people would tease her because she isn’t black. You beautifully melanates sisters don’t know my stories. Being gang raped and called white girl. Not being dateable by dark skin men because I cannot connect with the struggle. Light and brown skinned girls get it too.. When I said her problems were not bigger than mine and vice versa I meant in the realm of coming together and not pointing fingers at who has it worse but what we are going to do to make it better. Instead I got this. Name calling. Its time we understand one another. Grow from there. Unite from there. Thats all. That was all.
LikeReply110 hrsEdited

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Some folks do this shit on purpose to make themselves the victim. 馃槕 I don’t even bother anymore. Can see racism but colorism… no speaka da English.
UnlikeReply1210 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush But do see it everyday. Every single day. I choose. Not to play victim, but fight and build and uplift. I take no pity and I offer none. Thats why I started my business to help black people have their own so we are not subject to scraps.
LikeReply110 hrs

 

Rachel Chance
Rachel Chance Your exceptional experiences aren’t representative for the majority.
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Rachel Chance
Rachel Chance No one is saying you can’t experience oppression. We’re saying dark skinned women have a bit harder, and the stats speak for themselves.
UnlikeReply79 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Not a bit harder Rachel Chance a LOT harder. A whole lot harder. I never refuted that. All I was saying was instead of increasing the divide by pointing out who has it worse which ultimately results in conversations much like this thread, we bond togetSee More
LikeReply19 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals The marginalized are not the divisive ones. The ones who wanna keep their privilege, are. They don’t get to be comfortable at our expense. Interesting since the OP is doing her part, checking her privilege while calling out others then you come along trying to get her to stop doing the right thing? Ok den.
UnlikeReply119 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush I never did though. I understand you are angry at the injustices, but what did I do? Say we need to stand together as sisters and fight for one another? That was th only point I made. I speak at functions, I rally and protest. I have been in meetings with government officials, non government officials, travel speaking on the injustices but to you guys, because I am not dark skin, I am no better than the enemy? I did not ask to be born this complexion or this race. I can fight for US just like any other brown skin person can. Who says I never stopped someone from using their privilege? some of you made an assumption from my face and barely bothered to read my words. At no point was I creating a divide, calling people out of their name, or telling someone they were wrong.. it was unity all along but I guess I cannot call for unity.
LikeReply19 hrsEdited

 

Lacey So
Lacey So Heather Lovechild, I was about to say the same thing. She’s not even light skinned……
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Andrea Seals
Andrea Seals Now you’re just making shit up LMAO stop calling us angry anytime we speak up. If anything, my comments are snarky at the most. Now you think we are calling you the enemy? You just wanna be the victim here while claiming you are above that mentality. I’m gonna go enjoy my Saturday, enjoy yours and cut the bullshit please. Stop using words like unity and division in these discussions when you ain’t about the former and the latter is gaslighting.
LikeReply59 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Andrea Seals what did I make up? I never called *US* angry…again taking words out of context. I was talking to you directly about being angry about the injustices as we all are. You are making it to imply I am just calling black women angry and I wasn’t. Please do enjoy the rest of your day. I apologize my comment went left. It was never my intention.
LikeReply19 hrsEdited

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke You sound like a poor white person who doesnt understand they have privilege too
LikeReply59 hrs

 

Rachel Chance

Rachel Chance Pointing out colorism isn’t “increasing the divide.” The divide IS colorism. How is confronting the problem the issue to you?

When has pretending problems don’t exist ever been the solution? Dark skinned women are hurting, and they are rightfully angry… and we have people telling them they are the problem. Tuh. We all should be angry.

UnlikeReply128 hrsEdited

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Tiffani Dowell where did I go wrong?
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Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke ^your very first sentence sis
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Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush Thank you Tisha Tyacke not sarcastically either.
LikeReply15 hrs

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke No problem. It was problematic from jump. It definitely rubbed me the wrong way. We live and we learn 馃檪
UnlikeReply35 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Andrea Seals
Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Makes a post about problematic light skints. Problematic light skint hops on with tears
LikeReply1211 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
LikeReply311 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Maisha Rush *but I’m not light skin*
LikeReply10 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Nah. You aren’t.
LikeReply49 hrs

 

Tisha Tyacke
Tisha Tyacke Typical
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Chantal Monique

Chantal Monique Come awn. My mom and sis are darker than me. My mom is black skinned. I know DAMN well/ my light skin was/is a privilege. I’ve suffered from discrimination and oppression- but not like them and not in that area. I KNOW- ignorant folk think I’m “safer”. I saw it. I saw their pain & it’s not my job to compare it to mine. My job it to be their voice. My job is to use my privilege.

I cannot understand why some light skinned folks wanna complain about “I got picked on for being light.”

My FAMILY- picked on me for being light. And SO?? So what?? What the hell?? How does that really hurt me/ besides hurt feels (as a little girl).

I feel like it’s a game of oppression olympics. Some of us have privileges that others do not. Just admit it – do what you can to help & hush about the woes – regarding being “lighter”

*ROLLS EYES*

LikeReply46 hrsEdited

 

Mae West Washington
Mae West Washington Not at all!!!
LikeReply2 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Also, she ain’t light skint either. Lmao
LikeReply511 hrs

 

Ebony Murphy-Root
LikeReply411 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild When colorism is so firmly rooted that she attempted to convince folks she was light
LikeReply18 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Sharon Wood Thorndike
Sharon Wood Thorndike I am definitely aware of my “light skinned” privilege and try to always be mindful of that. I ALWAYS check assholes as well that ever DARE have some negative shit to say about my darker hued brothers and sisters!
LikeReply69 hrs

 

Constance Johnson
Constance Johnson goodness. I’ve seen thin people tears and NOW light skin tears. I’m getting off before I see able people tears and white people tears
LikeReply119 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Man I saw the thin tears about an hour ago. I had to walk away from that
LikeReply38 hrs

 

Constance Johnson
Constance Johnson so disgusting. no one wants to admit their privilege. always pointing fingers and we’re all one, and we all have problems, see i’m just like you, i don’t have privilege, i have to suffer too. just shut up! everyone has problems, but people have privileges too
LikeReply68 hrs

 

Heather Lovechild
Heather Lovechild Right. Girl I’s is tired
LikeReply58 hrs

 

Maisha Rush
Write a reply…
Mae West Washington
Mae West Washington I see it to often dark get played to the left for light shit. The moms from fresh prince, how Paula Patton is glorified for being light, but Meagan good still have to prove herself. I’m light and I see how most dark skinned women a treated as if she isn’t as sexy or beautiful and I’ve always noticed it. I hate it I’m tired of it and as long as I breath air I will stand up for my dark skinned goddesses because y’all/they deserve it. Our race deserve it.
LikeReply12 hrs

 

Shanythia Cook
Shanythia Cook Marginalized people can still be bigots.
*End of post*
Sigh. I am so confused and this negative energy had my vibes all off. I was angry all day. I cannot even with some people, I 聽wasn’t mad at the name calling, even though it was childish and showed lack and inability to have a grown conversation without attitude I was mad at the fact that they could not look past my complexion. Like you took an OPINION and turned it into ‘tear Maisha Down day’. But some will say I am again trying to play the victim but for those who know me I, that is not even in my DNA, like foreal, don’t touch me, don’t sympathize, nothing.
What are your thoughts? Do you think I spoke incorrectly or am I just expecting unity too soon, because THIS, this is not it.
*decided to leave the names, they may want the fame.
-Rush
me002

Family vacation my FOOT!

So I have been off of here for a few days and there is so much that I would like to share with you guys, my thoughts, interactions, and goings-ons, that I am going to have to post a few blogs tonight just to catch up.

Let us start with this “family vacation” we have recently gone on……..

I do not even know where to start but let me first say that whoever came up with the term FAMILY vacation was obviously delusional in every aspect of the matter. At no point during our trip to Myrtle Beach did I feel or have the remote inkling that I was on vacation. There was nothing that I did that said vacation. I will admit though that everything said, family.

We were blessed to be able to get a room for a very reasonable rate that had a kitchenette in it. There was a pool right outside our door and the beach was like a 45 second walk. The customer service was awesome. The keep was exceptionally pleasant and I even messed up a plate and they did not charge me for it (mostly due to the fact that I was honest and brought it to their attention first). The best part is they were a family and couples only hotel which meant everyone was civilized and respectful of one another. The best part was they never one time turned their noses up or turned us down once they found out that we have 9 children; this is especially a rarity for us when we travel.

Now, the trip. While I felt very extended while away because i was not only doing the same everyday things that I do at home, I had to do them in tighter living quarters and if you know me you would know that I hate clutter and cluttered situations but I digress for the good of the trip. I still had to get up and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still taught school and created daily lessons, I still worked for one of my clients (which I will not do ever again), and I still had to pack, unpack, and clean. This has brought me to the sad conclusion that no matter where I am I will always be slave, er, I mean mom.

My children are spoiled to the max and I am okay with that sometimes; on vacation is NOT one of those times.

I am just whining. Although I still felt like the nanny-cook-housekeeper-slave, the smiles and enjoyment from my children makes it all worth it. We went to the beach that my children beg to go to all the time but when we get there, they remember that they are deathly afraid of the water. The laughter I get from that alone makes the trip worthwhile. Lol. Likewise with the pool. Sai almost drowned in 3 feet even though he is 4 foot 2 inches tall. I laughed so hard at his dramatics that I almost forgot to save him (so his brother jumped in to do it). I kept yelling stand up but he was too busy being dramatic. And before you flood me with the fact that it is possible for him to drown in three feet while being over four feet tall, yes, I am well aware of that but if you knew Sai you would totally see why it was funny.

In the end (and even some parts of during) I did thoroughly enjoy the trip <—— (notice I didn’t say vacation). It was fun plus I got to hit some cool Thrift Stores on the way home.

 

-Rush

Only a black woman will truly understand

I had a moment. Its gone. I am so angry and I just don’t know why. Is it a stigma I was born with because I am a black woman? I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that we are all bred to be angry. What happened? I am going to lay it all out on the paper today. I will not proofread it or I will change it or not publish it.
I am on a journey to dig deep onto the revelation of the “Why” of an angry black woman. THIS angry black woman. As I sit and ponder about this subject, I began to wonder if it truly is our upbringing. We as women are bred to believe that we are to keep our mouths shut and find our place as a child. and mind our parents, suppressing any thoughts of anger or resentment without speaking how you feel. Taught to do as you are told and do as I say not as I do. I oftentimes wonder if this is the root of the anger of a black woman. Black boys are allowed to go out and dig ditches and play in the dirt,get into fist fights with other boys, argue with their neighbors children. They don’t have to do the same chores that we have to do. As I dig deep, I think about the difference in the way that we are raised as a black family. We are raised as little girls to act like a lady, carry of yourself accordingly, never really given the opportunity to express ourselves. On the other hand, boys- black boys- can do what they want “they’re just being boys” we are taught not to scrape up our knees or scuff our shins, hold your pinky up when you drink your tea. There are no rules to being a black boy. Now that I think about it we are raised to be angry black women not purposely and not because something happened to us. Its just the way that families are raised. “Girls don’t do that, girls don’t behave like that, black girls don’t act like that.” We’re raised to suppress what we are really truly feeling and usually the first relationship we get into we act the way we were raised; our first boyfriend respects that but as soon as we speak on something that we are angry about they give us a sideways look like we’re trying to act brand new but the truth is we’re mad and we are mad from within. We over react when we’re upset because we don’t know HOW to react when we’re upset, we weren’t taught to say what’s on your mind. We weren’t taught to say how we feel. We were taught to be delicate and soft and gentle but the truth of the matter is, some of us aren’t soft and delicate and gentle. The bottom line is we don’t know how to connect with our emotions, we don’t know how to casually speak that we’re angry or say that you did something to upset us. We hold it in and we suppress it. There’s a box of sensitivity within that holds that suppression and we get angry and we put it in the box we get mad and we put it in the box. We suppress it and suppress it and suppress it until the box of sensitivity can explode with just one touch. One wrong word from anyone. Who is that someone? Our mates. Because no matter how angry we get we were raised to respect our parents to act like a lady to stay in our place and to stay dainty. So that box of sensitivity will never explode on our parents. I believe that the anger that we hold with in starts from a very young age so yes sometimes, sometimes I am an angry black woman. And do you want to know the truth about it? I hate it. I hate being labeled as an angry black woman. I’ve been married for years and there’s a woman within that my husband doesn’t even know because I’m taught to suppress it and when I start to express it I lose my mind and he hates it so I suppress it. I don’t know how to express it so really there is no one thing that makes me mad there is no one man that’s made me mad, its life. Life is expression but if I can’t express myself then I’m not really living am I? I make a vow this day to teach my daughters that’s it is okay to express themselves. It is okay to say when you are upset or when you are hurt or when you are angry. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry. It’s NOT okay to hold on to it. I employ all of my black women, light skin, brown skin, dark skin, honey, peanut butter; it doesn’t matter what complexion you are, a black woman is a black woman and I am a black woman. I am raising black women we need to stand with one another and for one another find the roots of your anger and confront it. Our anger is not towards each other. We need to learn that, we need to know that, we need to own that. Accept that the key to growing is accountability. Take the accountability for your actions, it is the only way you can grow. It is the only way we will shake this stigma from our bones. I will lead the way by starting with me.
-Rush

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