Sitting here having a conversation with McRush about words and the root of them.
I posted a while back on Facebook that I do not teach my children to say I am sorry, I apologize, or any variation thereof. Some people feel like I am cold for having this approach, you know because people are oftentimes so quick to judge. I will admit that for the most part I can seem a little distant and skeptical until you get to know me. This stems mostly from a history of being hurt and betrayed, lied to and led on. I am very forgiving though because, I believe, you either genuinely do not know any better or I just took too long to know the real you. I have learned that I cannot concern myself with your ignorance (for not knowing better) or callousness (for not caring about me the way I did you).
While I am easily a crybaby, usually from holding things in, I am not a very emotional person. I am, however an open book. I hide nothing and that includes my discontent.
The purpose behind me not allowing my children to say I am sorry is actually two fold. First, they are my children and they are far from ‘sorry’. They are smart, outstanding, and humble little people who are finding their purpose in life, there is nothing to be sorry about. Second, by stating you are sorry, you are implying you regret what has happened when in all actuality, you shouldn’t regret anything that happens in your life.
Things happen TO you or FOR you. Either way it is a lesson learned, and without learning a lesson, you will continually repeat the same “mistake” in life until you do.
If #7 is running and swinging his arms and as he runs past #8 hits him, naturally he would look back and say “I’m sorry” but keep going. But at a better glance, he isn’t ‘sorry’ because he kept running. Stating that you regret something happen is stating that you wish in never happened AND will take precautionary measures to assure it does not happen again.
What makes your words mean something are the actions in which follow your statement. For this reason I teach my children the root of the word and SHOWING their concern rather than their regret.
In the aforementioned incident, what #7 should do is stop, turn around and check on #8 as well as seeing if there is anything he can do to make the situation better.
Words mean nothing if your actions do not support it. Learning the root of words will keep you from saying things that you really don’t mean as well as forcing you to take the time to analyze your actions and learn from them.
I do not believe you should regret anything in life. Regret serves no purpose except to weigh you down with guilt and possibly shame. I do not have time for either. This oftentimes can be misconstrued as heartless and unkind but cannot be further from the truth. I, in fact, am very kind and full of giving. Anyone who knows me can vouch for me. I just have no time for foolishness and antics when it comes to living my life. If you have ever seen the show Bones, I am Bones.