Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

How to homeschool without going crazy 😲

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. 🤗

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget 🙂)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

The pause.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So this week has been pretty hectic, If I calculate properly, it’s been hectic these past few weeks. In the midst, I had so many great things to blog about. I would pre-process it in my head how I was going to start off, the fluff in the middle, and the spectacular ending.  At this moment that I had to take a pause in the craziness of it all, I forgot. Every single detail, gone. Just like mommy brain. So many great ideas to implement and when you get the time, crickets, every dang time.

Although I am slightly saddened my this mush memory of mine, I love blogging so I decided to free flow like I usually do.

Let’s start with the bad decisions I made.

I threw out my last pair of contacts (from my eyes). As I dropped them in the toilet ( I found that this is best so #9 doesn’t try to eat them) I can literally see me doing it in slow motion as I realized a second too late that I did not have another pair to replace them. So now I am forced to wear these bottle cap glasses until I find time to get a new prescription. The plus side to this is I have noticed Oprah has been wearing her thickumms glasses so I am just going to go with it as if she inspired me to do so too. Embrace your blindness honey!

This next one is a pro and a con.

I overpaid my credit cards. The good in this is, well, I overpaid my credit cards. The not so good is, I could have used that money to go shopping. I know you may be thinking, just use your cards to go shopping but that’s counterproductive to the goal of eliminating debt.

A good thing that happened is I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston. It was kind of last minute so I was a little nervous and felt ill-prepared. The most nerve-wracking part was, I was talking to a bunch of teenagers. Now, I can talk business with adults all day long but teenagers always give you this look like ‘ I really don’t want to be here, listen to you, or care what you have to say’. I must admit, it’s a little intimidating but in the end, they were going with the flow and I felt less like I had to pull teeth or interact with myself.

I hosted a Stay at home mom event at my home. Those who know me are aware that I do not host at my home but I am stepping out of my comfort zone and I am glad I did. I had a wonderful time and was able to interact with families which is always awesome.

Family wins.

I bought six school desks for $5 a piece and they are pristine condition. My babies leveled up this week in their academics.  We scored more books for our home library. #1 got his drivers license (I don’t know how excited I am about this one). #8 is very close to being potty trained. And McRush is going back to school. And I have decided to slowly pick law back up, and I do mean slow. Like one class a semester, cash. Remember the eliminating debt mentioned above.

That’s just some of what has been going on in the Rush house.

What’s going on in your neck of the woods?

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

 

 

Thanks for the memories FaceBook.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Facebook gets annoying with its algorithm and lack of proper refreshing of the page. Lately, I have been having to go to my personal page to see any updates on my posts because my notifications are all out of sequence. You have people friend requesting you that should clearly be spam pages and from some, I hear people are being systematically unfriended. Whats up with that? To add fuel to the fire, they are cutting back promotions.

Now that we have all of that negativity out of the way. Facebook has this awesome memory feature that populates what you posted on that day a year or more back. I love that feature because it shows growth in both thought and writing. It’s fun to see where I was mentally back in the day. unfortunately for me, I have only had facebook for a few years so my growth tracking is minimal. But I did get to see this awesome blog that I blogged four years ago and I wanted to share it with you.

‘I turned in my letter of resignation today. It is time to take my own words to heart and stop holding on because of fear. I thought that because I was pursuing my dreams of being an entrepreneur and working my 9-5 was okay as long as I kept my determination and focus. But I was only kidding myself. How can I fully be true to my greatness if a piece of me was being dedicated to someone else’s goals? How can I say stay focused if a large portion of my day was consumed with a job that has nothing to do with the path I desired to walk?

I was a hypocrite. Bottom line.

I find myself on many nights working into the wee hours of the morning typing, scripting, marketing, building my own dreams because from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon my focus was on building the dreams of my employer. I was pushing for myself but I wasn’t giving 100% so I cheated myself out of 40 hours a week. I was getting the short end of the stick. I believed I was worth it but did I really?

I am telling you this because, as I stated in an earlier blog, I write to inspire you and in inspiring you I was inspiring myself. So here I stand, inspired. Determined. Relieved. Excited. Nervous. READY.
People refuse to jump for fear of failure. You won’t jump for yourself but you put your trust and security in the power of someone else’s hands because THEY won’t fail you? We have to believe that we are meant to be amazing. So BE AMAZING.

When is the last time you trusted, and I mean really trust yourself? When is the last time you gave yourself the push you know you needed and just went for it, from your soul?
We have a tendency to blame others for our failures but when will you begin to take control of your own life and accept the destiny that you know you deserve.

Look around, is that all you want? For the rest of your life?

We have to begin doing the things that are for our betterment and happiness. Stop allowing consequences to change our path to prosperity. We have to learn to trust our instincts and stop second-guessing ourselves. We have to start believing in what we set out to do. Know that with or without the support we WILL prosper. You will stand on higher ground and take a look in the mirror and smile saying to yourself “I made it.”

Trust that you can. Believe that you will. And you shall prosper.’

I thought this was dope and hella honest so I wanted to share..

-Rush

Twitter handle is @Rush_consulting
Inspired
Posted 25th February 2014 by

To beat their butts or not…..

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I’m not here for a debate so I will just jump right into it.

As a mother to 9, soon to be 10, children, I assure you that this is the most asked questioned we get. It is usually dressed up nicely by those who try to be politically correct or just plain nosey. “How do you get them to behave?’ or “What do you use?”

The answer in my head is, none of your dang business, but I play nice and smile and say “Love.”

Believe it or not children do respond well to it. Now, please do not be misinformed, they CAN get it but it doesn’t resort to that.

I have my days when I want to pull my hair out or simply state to my husband, ..”and we have NINE”. I get headaches and I fuss. Most times I put myself in time out which is usually the attempt to hide in my closet from the littles who have not yet learned my moods and patience level.

Every time, and I do mean every time, we are out in public we are approached with statements like, “I can’t even get my two children to behave, I cannot imagine having nine”. The truth is, if you cannot get your two children to behave then you probably should have stopped at one. I know, that was harsh but you are the parent.

As for me I am the most impatient person I know and I do not accept anything less than your best and that goes for my children as well. If they are wrong, I tell them they are wrong. If they are not doing their best, I tell them that too. If they are acting like a jerk, I let them know that as well. I am really bad at sugar coating things and that goes for my children as well. I pretty much treat my children like I treat my clients. I am not here to feed you fairytales about how wonderful you are and how great the world is. I am here to tell you the truth and prepare you for an even harsher truth called life.

So I suppose by now you are like, answer the question already! So, No. No I do not beat my children into submission otherwise my life would be much simpler. My children are very well behaved in public but let me tell you something, they are absolutely barbaric at home! I mean really, flipping through the house, jumping down the stairs, running around like loose weirdos, but in public, not a peep.

There really is no secret to it at all. Do I believe children should get their butt beat? Yup. I have seen some children that I just want to beat on site, old school with an extention cord but they are not mine so I digress and mind my business like I would like people to do about mine.

Again, I definitely have my days, especially trying to work on my businesses and homeschool whilst continuing to be a good wife and mother. It is tiring and oftentimes stressful. I recently spoke with someone about this issue I have about feeling like I was going to go crazy and she suggested I, get this, get organized!!! What, the nerve! But I took her advice and spent the last week in June creating a slew of schedules that I implemented starting July 1st. And although it is only the second of July, my life has never been so smooth sailing, even before the RushBunch. We stick to those schedules like my life depends on it (because I think it does). This is the second night where nine o’clock hit and all of my children are asleep. This feels like heaven! If I keep this up, this may not be the last Rush out of me yet [LIES].

I am so grateful for her and her wise words to me. Now I am like a child in a candy store; excited to get to bed before one a.m.

My transparency because I am so tired of holding it in.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As most of you know, in late 2011 my husband lost his job. It was just weeks after I lost mine. With no income and unemployment barely paying bills, we became homeless.

We were homeless for about six months. We lived in our car and McRush picked up odd and end jobs to pay for a night or so in a hotel. We caught a break in a neighborhood that we would rather not be in but it was better than out Durango. We moved in the apartment May 31. On June 16, we received a phone call from my sister in law whom I had never met. She said my brother got locked up and she couldn’t care for their baby and waned to know if I could come get her TODAY. I said yes, she said she would call me back in a few but never did. The next day we were walking into church, yes church, we used to do that, and she called again, I told her we would be right there after service assuming she was not serious again. After church I called her and she still wanted us to come. We went home, changed clothes, and headed to Florida.

We got my niece with a few outfits and a walker. Before we jumped back on 95 to head home we stopped at the store to get diapers, bottles, and milk for her.  she was just three months older than our youngest. We tried desperately to get something in writing stating we could care for her but they never obliged and they wouldn’t come to get her either so we took them to court. They were on drugs and in the streets and frankly a child was just not in their plans. She is 5 now.

This put a slight strain on the relationship I had with my mother because she felt like she should get my niece because she was her grandmother. I felt like it was my duty to grant my brother his wish to keep his child. This ‘beef’ eventually died off, at least for me it did.

Jump to 2015.

For whatever reason, my brother and his wife decided, despite the fact that they have absolutely NO connection with my niece (whom I call my daughter), they were going to have another child. This time they had him in South Carolina. Immediately upon giving birth, child protective services was called in and they lost custody. The child was given to my husband and I upon discharge. Again, my mother felt she should have this child because she is the grandmother and at this point, I was pregnant myself and she thought I had too many children as it is.

Now backing up just a little, we let my niece stay with my mom for awhile (1 year) and when we wanted her to come home she was livid. so keep in mind that added fuel to this new issue which was happening almost simultaneously.

So we now have custody of my nephew. My mom said some very harsh things to me and about me. Most of them were not true and were spewed out of anger. I maintained my respect for her and let her say what she wanted because I am a coward. I have always been a coward. I have let people use and abuse me mentally, physically, and most of all emotionally. I have always been the punching bag and I  never strike back. It has taken me all my life to realize I do not deserve this and that the only way to move forward with peace happiness and harmony is to cut ties. It hurts like hell but for once in my life I have to be truly happy.

In my line of work, I have to motivate people on a constant and consistent basis. I tweet empowerment often, but what people do not know is those tweets are really for me. They keep my going and they keep me in good spirits.

It is time for me to give back to me.

My mother is not the only one. Just know this. I am getting to old to continue to endure pain pointlessly. I implore you to do the same.

-Rush

To entrepreneur or not…

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have known my entire life that I never wanted to work for someone besides myself. I also knew I was destined for, well, more. I couldn’t quite put my finger on that ‘more’ but I knew that I would know it when I seen it. At fifteen, I worked at Burger King and McDonald’s and Taco Bell. When I was seventeen I got a night job in the mail room at Corestates bank (which became First Union which became Wachovia which became Wells Fargo). I would get off at 7 am and rush down Center City to my second job, United way, and work from eight until two and then I would rush down to my first class, English, at Peirce College. My whole life has been about the hustle and bustle, which I never really minded being a city girl and all but there was nothing to show for my hard work, dedication, and drive except a very exhausted me.

In 2009 after the passing away of my daughter, Madison, I decided I needed to live! I started my company Rush Consulting Firm from literally nothing and I just kept pushing. Every time I wanted to quit I thought about the times I never quit on my bosses out of a sense of obligation. Every time I felt like I just couldn’t do it, I reminded myself of all the late nights and early mornings I pushed for companies who never even noticed my hard work. And every time I felt like a failure, I remember the courage it took to build what I have built.

I want to say that entrepreneurship is not for everyone, but I know that is not true. Even if you decide not to leave your full time job, I implore you to never give up on your dreams. Just a few minutes a day, a couple hours a week, a few weeks out the year will have you feeling more dedicated and refreshed to do more, be more, even in your everyday life. There is something amazing about giving a little bit of you to yourself that makes it all worthwhile, and if you can inspire someone along the way, even better.

I know what some of you may be thinking; Time. Let me tell you a little something about time. Time is your most valuable asset. Time is something you can choose to be generous with or selfish with. Time is something that is yours to do with as you please. Time is one of those things that you can never get back. So you can spend your life planning it or you can spend your life living it, but its your time to do with as you wish.

As a wife, mother, and serial entrepreneur, I can say that sometimes things will get hectic but for me, I choose not to make a fuss over time as long as I spend it the way I desire to. I have 9 children and I home school them all. That is in addition to running a seasonal toddler boutique where the items are made by hand, by me; I also run a successful Consulting Firm where I do everything from coaching to speaking, resumes to job placement, and, our specialty, helping people start the business they always wanted to. In addition, I host Meet and greets called Heels&Hustle where we bring together women who do, did, and want to start their business for the purpose of networking, collaborating, and mentoring. Trust me when I say that I know all about time management and that is why I believe, no, I KNOW you can do it too.

Entrepreneurship IS for everyone. Whether its full time, part time, seasonal, or weekends only, be sure to give it a go. There are people around you that believe in you and your vision and they are just waiting for the opportunity to support you. You can do it.

-Rush
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Nosey black people

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So I come outside to find a portion of peace with Roger (pictured below) and unbeknownst to me there are three police cars and a white car which looks like a Chevy Malibu (you can thank McRush for my knowledge of cars). Two police officers are searching the Malibu and one officer is keeping them, occupied, for lack of a better word.

There is a woman standing in her yard where the people were pulled over on her phone with an attitude, loud. Catercorner to her is a large group of people standing outside just looking. Now, I know I am going to catch plenty of backlash for this but why are you watching? You have nothing better to do? My people! Does watching the incident unfold make you feel better about your life? Does it give you something positive to converse about?

I am sure many of you, both black and white, will respond stating something along the lines of; ‘With the string of murders of our black people, we should be watching to be sure nothing happens to them.’ To that I respond, Yeah right. First of all our community has been nosing in other peoples businesses well before that with or without police presence. Second of all  what exactly would you do if something were to happen besides grab your phone and record?

McRush hates when I categorize us in a negative manner because really, lets face it, all races have their nosey tendencies. But, I can only speak for mine because I am black, not too black according to a few of my fellow peers, but just black enough to reap some benefits.

So here I sit my beneficial behind in the grass observing the observers and blogging about it. I guess that makes me nosey too. Hmmm.

-Rush
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