A heavy day.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I blog, when I get the chance, about my everyday life as a wife and mother. However, I journal about my struggles therein. Why do I do this? Oftentimes I’m sad about my lack of accomplishments, frustration in my marriage, or discontent of my business ventures.

I do this to compartmentalize or so I tell myself. But really, I do it to avoid my family from being embarrassed. To be honest, it’s not good for my mental health. I oftentimes feel like I am a fraud or doing a disservice by telling half truths. Those who know me know that I pride myself on being fully transparent. An open book if you may. So, I feel like I am offering the good parts of me to the public, via my blog while internalizing my failures in private. While that makes sense in a generalized way, to create a blog around this conception is merely a lie.

Starting today, I will share my whole truth.

I started blogging as a way to release the day from my mind and my heart but it hasn’t helped because I was only showing the brighter parts of my life. I believe that is why I blog infrequently.

When I was younger I used to get kicked out of my room because I loved to write. Like all day.  I would journal my emotions, write poetry about my dreams, and even dabble in writing songs about my projected future. I learned that it helped me cope with everyday issues. Putting my emotions and thoughts on paper helped me make more sense of everything in the world around me. That is why I wanted to start a blog. Initially, I shied away from being so transparent because I didnt want my family to feel hurt or embarrassed by my words, thoughts, or emotions. But that is doing a disservice to me. And the blog is about me.

I have struggled with this decision because I am always aiming to make the people around me happy but I have learned that I am just sacrificing another piece of myself. At this point I feel like there aren’t that many pieces of me left. I have to fix that.

Working on myself is a daily thing and I can’t build myself up if I am always missing pieces of the ladder.

I titled this blog “weight of the day” because Cameron asked how much days until Christmas to which his father replied you cannot weigh a day. And although his question was worded improperly, I do believe that you can weigh a day. It can be a heavy day, full of tasks and to-do or the burdens of the day. Or it can be a light day, with nothing to do or even a day planned out and running smoothly.

The weight of my day, today, is heavy. There is a lot to do but no desire to do it. There is a lot that I don’t want to do but must as a wife and mother. Perhaps I will take a moment for me. Maybe I’ll get a pedicure. It’s not a fun thing for me but a necessity as my nails have grown out and the color (orange) is fading. While it may seem like a pampering moment, for me, it’s just another thing on my to-do list. Atleast I’ll have an hour where no one is asking me to do anything.

M.

Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Mini vacay

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I’m on the road right now and headed back home. I miss my babies. That’s right, I said it. Those same crumb snatching, time stealing, mommy-can-I rugrats I talk cash trash about. 🥰

I have been having a tough time time this past week finding my motivation, so this girls’ trip is just what I needed.

It was my mom, sister, and myself. The first of many to come, I hope. We’re not really talkers, so there was no “bonding,” but we are already close, so it was more about getting away and having some fun.

We slept in, went to breakfast, and hit up some stores for shopping. Of no surprise, most of our shopping was for the household or the children/husband’s. 🙄

It was a much needed break. I’ve had some time to reflect, and I think it’s time for me to do a purge. This next week, I think I’m going to deep clean my house and have a yard sale this Saturday (so if you’re local, come out). It’s not about making money. I just don’t feel like hauling it to the dump, so nothing will be over $10 (I think) 🤔. After that I am minimizing my time on social media. In addition, I think I’m going to purge my client list, so I need to start finding people who will take them. 😬

I have a few goals in mind, and I need to clear the clutter of my life in order to get to them. Did you know that if there is disorganization around you, it affects your motivation and actions? Sometimes, you will feel excited about an idea but completely unmotivated to do it if your surroundings are not organized. In order to move forward with progression, you must be able to move freely. That means mentally and physically.

As a mom of 12 I had to learn the hard way that I must have access to everything at all times in order to work efficiently and to do so there must be organization or else I will spend more time searching instead of acting.

What makes you work and think more efficiently?

The silent angel

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As much as my husband and I are a team there is still not much he knows about me on a day to day basis. I have no doubt that he married me because I am a phenomenal woman but if he knew I had secret missions and powers it would blow his mind.

It’s one thirty in the morning and I have been battling a headache all day. All I want to do is rest. Not just sleep but rest. Yesterday I gave him a detailed rundown of what I had to do but because he was tired from his workday he barely acknowledged. I don’t fault him for this because he does work very hard and has long hour days and he does try to help before passing out from exhaustion. I joked about taking on another husband to help carry his load around the house. He didn’t find amusement in that. He never does.

I didn’t get to go to an event I was invited to today because I wasn’t feeling my best and the house urgently needed cleaning. My oldest son came home before being stationed out for the next four years and he pulled and sorted through all of his things packing what he was keeping. I then had to clean up bins and piles of what-nots in order to see what was to be thrown away. In addition, someone gave my littles a ton of clothes that I had to sort through, wash and fold. Gabriel is struggling in reading so I spent some time with him on that. My girls are also under the weather so I had to tend to them. Maia is in the midst of being potty trained so that takes repetition. I have a client that I’m working on grants for so I was searching the resources for that. Plus, I am building a portfolio for another client in addition to revamping mine. My 17 year old needed a ride to and from work and my room has been neglected for weeks now.

While everyone is sound asleep I tidied up, took Maia temperature and changed her training pants to her pullout in case she has an accident. I rocked Kera to sleep and put them in their beds.

McRush is battling tinnitus so I nudged him awake to put oil in his ear with a cotton swab. I am still battling this headache trying to keep it at bay to be sure it doesn’t turn into a migraine.

My mission is simple, to keep this house a home. My super power is being able to always show up even if that means little rest. I do it with a happy heart knowing even if they don’t see me do it they know it got done.

I have had a lot going on with the shift in business and how I run the household, mainly the children being in public school instead of homeschool. It’s a crazy transition right now but I am sure once we get the hang of it things will run more smoothly.

I oftentimes wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I do the same things. I like to think that I would but right now, mama needs some rest.

To all of the moms, or silent angels out there. I’m rooting for you. Now get some rest. ❤️

Transparent ask for help

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I need a mentor.

Where I am:
Business is at $850,000. 1 location. 2 employees. I am paying myself less than 5k a month. I’m busier than I’d like to be.

Where I’m going:
Open another location in Philadelphia. Get RCF to $1.5. Hire 3 more staff members. Featured in Forbes and Inc. Magazine (without paying for it). Increase my salary by Q1 2024

What I need: Guidance from someone who has been where I am trying to go. Introductions to more c-level executives through networking. Collaborations to scale. Knowledge to increase my expertise.

What I bring to the table:
The tenacity to excel. The audacity to know I can. I am a quick and zealous learner. I have knowledge and expertise that just need to be molded to the next level.

When:
I am looking to connect with a mentor and outline what we can do together this week and be ready to start by 8/15

Reach out if this is you, Maisharush@gmail.com
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How do YOU get “in the mood”?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Well, I’m a morning person so It may be different for you.

First thing I do, obviously, is wash my face and brush my teeth. I take a few minutes to meditate and stretch to get my body ready. Releasing any tension is very import because I feel you get your best outcome in a relaxed state. I usually have tension in my hips, especially being pregnant so stretching is very important.

Next thing I’ll do is watch a video or look at some pictures to really get in the mood because although I am a morning person, I rarely just wake up in the mood. I still need motivation to get going sometimes, even some fresh ideas. You gotta keep it fresh right. Doing the same thing over and over again isn’t fun. Afterwards I will wake McRush so we can shower, usually me first, so we are clean and ready for the day. We usually get right to it because we get up before the children so there is that time of peach and quiet so we find our groove better.
We opt to work in tighter spaces so their is a flow but we will be expanding in a few weeks so we will have more space. I’m excited to see what that looks like for us.

Despite what some people think working with your spouse is really great especially when you know your roles and how important they are. Running our business together has been great for us, but just like anything else, setting the mood is very important to a positive and efficient workflow.

How do YOU get in the mood to work on your business?
😜

Friiiiiiiiieeeeeends!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all! Oh em gee! Its been so long. Why y’all let me go this long without talking to you?! 😜 I have so much to tell you! Like seriously.

Did I even tell you guys about Maia? 🤔

Shoot! Well, I am finally writing that book. Yes hunty! It is TIME. My business is booming, I’m traveling SOLO! Girl let me tell you, life is GOODT!

I just got back from a 4 day Vegas trip. 😍 I lost $325 though. Gambling is NOT for me but I had fun. I thought I would miss the children but I missed them less when I called McRush and they were yelling in the background 😂.

I took random naps. Had morning mimosas or shots ← Judge ya mama 🙄. I even snuck in a smoke 🤗 ← again…. ya mama.

I don’t have to tell you that this was a much needed trip. This is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

Self care is so important especially as a wife, mother and business owner. Free time in my house, especially with 10 children, is scarce around these parts.

I have a partnership with Dell, ADP, and was recently given the position as District Implementation Director with Black Wall Street. I have been recently published in a few magazines, guest host on a few podcasts and radio shows and I am so excited to share more in a couple of weeks.

For now I am just checking in and I Hope you are following me on social media for more. I really want you on this journey with me because I want you to live you best life too. You deserve it..

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

The pause.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So this week has been pretty hectic, If I calculate properly, it’s been hectic these past few weeks. In the midst, I had so many great things to blog about. I would pre-process it in my head how I was going to start off, the fluff in the middle, and the spectacular ending.  At this moment that I had to take a pause in the craziness of it all, I forgot. Every single detail, gone. Just like mommy brain. So many great ideas to implement and when you get the time, crickets, every dang time.

Although I am slightly saddened my this mush memory of mine, I love blogging so I decided to free flow like I usually do.

Let’s start with the bad decisions I made.

I threw out my last pair of contacts (from my eyes). As I dropped them in the toilet ( I found that this is best so #9 doesn’t try to eat them) I can literally see me doing it in slow motion as I realized a second too late that I did not have another pair to replace them. So now I am forced to wear these bottle cap glasses until I find time to get a new prescription. The plus side to this is I have noticed Oprah has been wearing her thickumms glasses so I am just going to go with it as if she inspired me to do so too. Embrace your blindness honey!

This next one is a pro and a con.

I overpaid my credit cards. The good in this is, well, I overpaid my credit cards. The not so good is, I could have used that money to go shopping. I know you may be thinking, just use your cards to go shopping but that’s counterproductive to the goal of eliminating debt.

A good thing that happened is I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston. It was kind of last minute so I was a little nervous and felt ill-prepared. The most nerve-wracking part was, I was talking to a bunch of teenagers. Now, I can talk business with adults all day long but teenagers always give you this look like ‘ I really don’t want to be here, listen to you, or care what you have to say’. I must admit, it’s a little intimidating but in the end, they were going with the flow and I felt less like I had to pull teeth or interact with myself.

I hosted a Stay at home mom event at my home. Those who know me are aware that I do not host at my home but I am stepping out of my comfort zone and I am glad I did. I had a wonderful time and was able to interact with families which is always awesome.

Family wins.

I bought six school desks for $5 a piece and they are pristine condition. My babies leveled up this week in their academics.  We scored more books for our home library. #1 got his drivers license (I don’t know how excited I am about this one). #8 is very close to being potty trained. And McRush is going back to school. And I have decided to slowly pick law back up, and I do mean slow. Like one class a semester, cash. Remember the eliminating debt mentioned above.

That’s just some of what has been going on in the Rush house.

What’s going on in your neck of the woods?

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

 

 

Thanks for the memories FaceBook.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Facebook gets annoying with its algorithm and lack of proper refreshing of the page. Lately, I have been having to go to my personal page to see any updates on my posts because my notifications are all out of sequence. You have people friend requesting you that should clearly be spam pages and from some, I hear people are being systematically unfriended. Whats up with that? To add fuel to the fire, they are cutting back promotions.

Now that we have all of that negativity out of the way. Facebook has this awesome memory feature that populates what you posted on that day a year or more back. I love that feature because it shows growth in both thought and writing. It’s fun to see where I was mentally back in the day. unfortunately for me, I have only had facebook for a few years so my growth tracking is minimal. But I did get to see this awesome blog that I blogged four years ago and I wanted to share it with you.

‘I turned in my letter of resignation today. It is time to take my own words to heart and stop holding on because of fear. I thought that because I was pursuing my dreams of being an entrepreneur and working my 9-5 was okay as long as I kept my determination and focus. But I was only kidding myself. How can I fully be true to my greatness if a piece of me was being dedicated to someone else’s goals? How can I say stay focused if a large portion of my day was consumed with a job that has nothing to do with the path I desired to walk?

I was a hypocrite. Bottom line.

I find myself on many nights working into the wee hours of the morning typing, scripting, marketing, building my own dreams because from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon my focus was on building the dreams of my employer. I was pushing for myself but I wasn’t giving 100% so I cheated myself out of 40 hours a week. I was getting the short end of the stick. I believed I was worth it but did I really?

I am telling you this because, as I stated in an earlier blog, I write to inspire you and in inspiring you I was inspiring myself. So here I stand, inspired. Determined. Relieved. Excited. Nervous. READY.
People refuse to jump for fear of failure. You won’t jump for yourself but you put your trust and security in the power of someone else’s hands because THEY won’t fail you? We have to believe that we are meant to be amazing. So BE AMAZING.

When is the last time you trusted, and I mean really trust yourself? When is the last time you gave yourself the push you know you needed and just went for it, from your soul?
We have a tendency to blame others for our failures but when will you begin to take control of your own life and accept the destiny that you know you deserve.

Look around, is that all you want? For the rest of your life?

We have to begin doing the things that are for our betterment and happiness. Stop allowing consequences to change our path to prosperity. We have to learn to trust our instincts and stop second-guessing ourselves. We have to start believing in what we set out to do. Know that with or without the support we WILL prosper. You will stand on higher ground and take a look in the mirror and smile saying to yourself “I made it.”

Trust that you can. Believe that you will. And you shall prosper.’

I thought this was dope and hella honest so I wanted to share..

-Rush

Twitter handle is @Rush_consulting
Inspired
Posted 25th February 2014 by