Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

Transparent ask for help

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I need a mentor.

Where I am:
Business is at $850,000. 1 location. 2 employees. I am paying myself less than 5k a month. I’m busier than I’d like to be.

Where I’m going:
Open another location in Philadelphia. Get RCF to $1.5. Hire 3 more staff members. Featured in Forbes and Inc. Magazine (without paying for it). Increase my salary by Q1 2024

What I need: Guidance from someone who has been where I am trying to go. Introductions to more c-level executives through networking. Collaborations to scale. Knowledge to increase my expertise.

What I bring to the table:
The tenacity to excel. The audacity to know I can. I am a quick and zealous learner. I have knowledge and expertise that just need to be molded to the next level.

When:
I am looking to connect with a mentor and outline what we can do together this week and be ready to start by 8/15

Reach out if this is you, Maisharush@gmail.com
#ad

Here me out.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

It’s been about a month or so since I have blogged, and I’m just barely making it tonight. 🙃

I don’t know if it’s the excitement of all of these new ai options or the fact that it’s almost LEO season, but I am feeling rejuvenated. I didn’t get in any fights, I didn’t beat my kids, and I didn’t run away from home. Although I do threaten with it. (Judge your mama 👵) But for me, a win is a win because they are few and far between around here.

Nothing personal really happened, and I do truly try to keep this blog a little separate from business unless it’s relevant. But, I have so much going on with the firm, and I am so excited. I am putting out 3 membership sites over the course of the next couple of months. Plus, I am taking classes again, and I am trying to shape my own ai, which is hella exciting to me, seeing as I hate learning technology.

I tried to get with tiktok, but I just can’t invest time with another app. I did manage to get over 10k followers. Maybe when I get out of this creativity storm so I can calm down. I’ll set a strategy for tiktok because if we can be some type of affiliate in alignment with my brand, that would be great.

We found our house. It’s in another state, so I’m hoping it will still be available when we are ready to sell this one and be able to dedicate the time to get it ready.

I gave Reggie my Lexis, so for now, I’m stuck driving the bus (transit) or McRush’s manly truck. Sometimes I will drive his Lexis, but man, do I miss my baby. I wonder if Lincoln would be willing to sponsor me for that new navigator. 👀 I wonder who I have to talk to in order to make that happen. 🤔

I know I pulled myself up from my bootstraps from nothing but hustle to finally coming into my ease and flow stage, although I never pictured that stage breastfeeding and changing diapers. 🤣 But I am not too bougie to play that lotto! Have you guys seen the numbers? If I win, it’s going to be straight quick pick cause I be having ZERO strategy. But I only play like 1 to 2x a year, so I give myself a by.

If I win, I PROMISE I won’t tell ya 🤪.

Have you guys played with that new headshot generating ai? Remini, I believe it’s called. It was fun, but most of them look like a much younger version of myself or too cartoon. I’m going to post them on the bottom of my blogs until I run out, so don’t be commenting on how fake they look. I’m glad they look fake because they are. 🤣

Do you have to pay back stimulus money?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Yes and no depending on your circumstances. I know that many people are worried about whether or not they will have to pay back the CTC (child tax credit) that they received from the IRS for the past six months. Well, the research analyst in me did some research because most of my followers are moms and I know this money helped them. I have found many variations of the same answer which is basically “No”. The only way you would have to pay the money back is if your income increased and/or dependents decreased yet you still took payment according to the income based on your 2020 tax return. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Here is a copied excerpt from the IRS.

↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Unlike stimulus checks, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) will reconcile any overpayments. That means, if your income improved in 2021 or if you claimed fewer dependents in the tax year than the IRS knew about, you’ll have to settle any overpayments with your 2021 tax return.

Not all families were eligible for the scaled-up portion of the credit. Single filers’ earnings couldn’t top $75,000, heads of households’ incomes couldn’t surpass $112,500, and married couples couldn’t make more than $150,000 to be eligible for the extra $1,000 or $1,600. After that, the tax break fell by $50 per every $1,000 over the income threshold.

The IRS used the most recent information it had available to determine families’ eligibility. That could’ve been your 2020 tax return, or other proactive families might have updated their income and family information through one of the agency’s online portals. Others, however, might’ve not acted, putting them at risk of losing part of their refund — or having to pay some of that money back.

Experts say families in few circumstances will have to worry about paying back those payments — whether with their tax refund or out of pocket. The credit had high income thresholds for the $2,000 base amount and the program also had a buffer by design, given that families only received half of the credit through six monthly installments. Families, however, might potentially hit a few snags if they received money for a dependent that they no longer claim.

“Long story short, with these high-phase-out thresholds of $400,000 or $200,000, it would be a very unusual scenario to have to pay back any child tax credit, as long as you still have qualifying dependents,” Steber says. Still, he adds that “there is no get out of jail free card if you get those monies and you’re not supposed to.” (end excerpt)

As always I implore you to do your own research and find out for yourself. Don’t just listen to people tell you what they think. To make responsible and accurate decisions, you must KNOW.

10 kids too many.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

You know the worst part of having 10 children is the fact that people equate more children with bad. People are amazed when we go in public that our children are well mannered and behaved. For me my children are busy but still behaved. As a homeschooling mother to a house full of children, I’m not going to lie, it can get overwhelming under certain circumstances like being short on funds but that has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.

I am disheartened at how some people, usually family, will discredit my ability to parent by finding something to fault me about when growing up with my children. I don’t like to say raise them because in many aspects they teach me. We have a reciprocal relationship opposed to a dictatorship. You will never find fault in our ability to “raise” our children. We do our best and that’s all we can do. That’s all anyone can do.

We keep ourselves private for this very reason. Its funny how that can trigger someone to look down on you.

Everyone who knows me knows that I love love and laughing. I am not controversial. I will often choose your feelings over mine to keep the peace. And I am always sincere in what I do. I am the biggest crybaby in private and simply quiet and composed in public. I hate to be the center of attention and will boost anybody up. I am a gentle soul, connected to other’s pains often trying to fix things. I think before I speak and I never take a bet I could possibly lose. Family is everything but mine comes first. I spend most of my brain power trying to fix a situation that should have long ago died.

At this point I am so mentally drained. McRush and I have managed to create our own village and I don’t know why I fight so hard to be apart of any other one. I guess I’m just so simple that I cannot comprehend why love isn’t simpler.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all could let one another be who they are they way they wanted to be. Gently nudging them when we see them off track. Hugging when needed, space likewise.

All of my life all I ever asked and prayed for was to be happy. I guess I should have asked that those who love me be happy for me too.

Do you find it hard to be happiest when others around you aren’t happy for you?

10 kids too many.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

You know the worst part of having 10 children is the fact that people equate more children with bad. People are amazed when we go in public that our children are well mannered and behaved. For me my children are busy but still behaved. As a homeschooling mother to a house full of children, I’m not going to lie, it can get overwhelming under certain circumstances like being short on funds but that has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.

I am disheartened at how some people, usually family, will discredit my ability to parent by finding something to fault me about when growing up with my children. I don’t like to say raise them because in many aspects they teach me. We have a reciprocal relationship opposed to a dictatorship. You will never find fault in our ability to “raise” our children. We do our best and that’s all we can do. That’s all anyone can do.

We keep ourselves private for this very reason. Its funny how that can trigger someone to look down on you.

Everyone who knows me knows that I love love and laughing. I am not controversial. I will often choose your feelings over mine to keep the peace. And I am always sincere in what I do. I am the biggest crybaby in private and simply quiet and composed in public. I hate to be the center of attention and will boost anybody up. I am a gentle soul, connected to other’s pains often trying to fix things. I think before I speak and I never take a bet I could possibly lose. Family is everything but mine comes first. I spend most of my brain power trying to fix a situation that should have long ago died.

At this point I am so mentally drained. McRush and I have managed to create our own village and I don’t know why I fight so hard to be apart of any other one. I guess I’m just so simple that I cannot comprehend why love isn’t simpler.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all could let one another be who they are they way they wanted to be. Gently nudging them when we see them off track. Hugging when needed, space likewise.

All of my life all I ever asked and prayed for was to be happy. I guess I should have asked that those who love me be happy for me too.

Do you find it hard to be happiest when others around you aren’t happy for you?

Bitch you doing a good job.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all HEY!

What a week. I had the whole week planned out and that shit did NOT go accordingly. Yes business was AH-mazing and we even took an impromptu trip to the mountains. But BAYBEEEE! WHEW!

Fasten your seatbelt, you are about to hear the side of business ownership that most people will not tell you. Yea, you absolutely can be successful in your business, make a lot of money, look cute, have a happy family and STILL be losing your fucking mind.

This is why I am so transparent with my journey as a wife, mother, and successful business owner. People will have you think that once you have it all together life becomes effortless. That. Shit. Is. A. LIE! BRUH! I plan everything, not even in an obsessive way but very strategically. Meals, vacations, cleaning, school, work, you name it. I know it sounds like A lot to some people but as a mother of 10, wait, a PREGNANT mom of 10 trust me when I tell you, it is necessary. So, I understand that everyone does not function the same so I do allow myself to veer from the schedules to give a little spontaneity. HOWEVER, despite the fact that there was nothing planned for the week the trip to the mountains stressed me all the way out!

First I couldn’t find an air bnb that was close enough to stay so we booked two rooms at a hotel. Let me just say that hotels are so overpriced in comparison to air bnb. 🙄  Like most families, instead of packing, I just went shopping for everyone. No? Just me. 😐. So one of the days was dedicated to shopping for 10 children 😭. LOADS of money but okay, not a surprise. Then, I forgot to pack road food because 1. McRush has to be eating on the road because imma go to sleep as soon as the engine starts running 😂. So the food keeps him occupied. 🤷🏾  2. The children like snacks. Like, ALOT! This means more money spent. 😑  So okay, no biggie, we got it, right? The plan was to shop at a grocery store and cook while on our trip. So we get there and I’m like FUUUUUUCK DAT! I’m not cooking. I’m on vacation too. So we’re eating out. Yup, you guessed it. More money. 🤑 The rooms had two FULL sized beds. Who thee fuck shares a full sized bed? It was official. I was stressed. THIS is why I don’t do spontaneous. But okay. We get to the mountains pit stop and go to the restrooms. Leave and as soon as we get to our location, “mom, I have to pee” BRUH! Over all, the experience was fun and new. It was great for memories but baybee! Imma have to clone myself before I do that again because, I’M NOT!

So boom, we get back, still nothing on my schedule so imma chill out. Right? Wrong! I needed a nap, you know pregnancy kicking my ass. Nah, the RushBunch act like Daddy is golden and cannot be disturbed. Every five seconds somebody is calling my name, diaper change, tattling, whining. So I finally call dad like dude. Get your children! I finally get a moment of peace and 3 minutes in, a client calls with an emergency. Now I’m up until 1 am handling some last minute work. Where errybody at? Sleep.

I was livid. I wanted to cry. Okay, I did. I tried to be spontaneous and surprise the ingrates but no it was still mommy can I all the way there, through the trip, back, and at home. (I cried because it took me a lot to step out of my comfort zone of schedule a and when I did, I was miserable as fuck.)

The bottom line is, regardless of how much you plan, anticipate, or organize, life can get stressful. That is why I take solo vacations, pamper myself, and make sure I pour into me on a regular basis. Because sometimes in life, as a mom, you legit have to say #FDK and take the time to make YOU smile. Because baby, you deserve it! 🥂

Friiiiiiiiieeeeeends!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all! Oh em gee! Its been so long. Why y’all let me go this long without talking to you?! 😜 I have so much to tell you! Like seriously.

Did I even tell you guys about Maia? 🤔

Shoot! Well, I am finally writing that book. Yes hunty! It is TIME. My business is booming, I’m traveling SOLO! Girl let me tell you, life is GOODT!

I just got back from a 4 day Vegas trip. 😍 I lost $325 though. Gambling is NOT for me but I had fun. I thought I would miss the children but I missed them less when I called McRush and they were yelling in the background 😂.

I took random naps. Had morning mimosas or shots ← Judge ya mama 🙄. I even snuck in a smoke 🤗 ← again…. ya mama.

I don’t have to tell you that this was a much needed trip. This is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

Self care is so important especially as a wife, mother and business owner. Free time in my house, especially with 10 children, is scarce around these parts.

I have a partnership with Dell, ADP, and was recently given the position as District Implementation Director with Black Wall Street. I have been recently published in a few magazines, guest host on a few podcasts and radio shows and I am so excited to share more in a couple of weeks.

For now I am just checking in and I Hope you are following me on social media for more. I really want you on this journey with me because I want you to live you best life too. You deserve it..

Dear covid…..

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all. I hope everyone is safe out here in these covid streets.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Business shifts, financial shifts, and more importantly personal shifts.

After YEARS of working my business o am just now realizing that I need to take care of me too. I mean I bathe and stuff but its deeper than that right. I have decided to hire a cleaning crew to come to the house. And right now I am looking for a Day nanny.

I know people have been saying self care for years and things like “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. My cup has been empty so long that I have just been used to the drain. Being a mom is running a business and in many aspects so is marriage. Then to actually be running a business, being a mentor, and volunteering can definitely take its toll.

I incorporated baths into my regime. Yes, baths. I shower everyday, sometimes twice a day. But nothing relaxes you like locking your bathroom door and sitting in a hot tub… maybe even bubbles. I deserve bubbles right. 😉

But more importantly I am incorporating delegating because just because we can do it all doesn’t mean we should. There are things we need to do,, especially as moms, and Madam Maxine Waters said, reclaim our time.

My babies are healthy and my husband is happy so I think I do a pretty good job. But at the end of the day I am absolutely burned out.

I hired a coach to get my business life together because like I say all the time, if your coach doesn’t have a coach then they are a hypocrite. How can I, as a coach, tell you that you need a business coach but not have one myself. I have had several coaches over the years and its time I added me to the list of things to support. (My coach would agree) I have decided to take an hiatus from the fave of the business to work the back end and hire those who can help.

Covid has caused many of us to transition to virtual meetings and meet ups with our friends and family but what I take it as is we all need a moment to slow down.

I am grateful to be among the many untouched by this crazy thing and I am praying for all those who may not be able to say the same. We have to take control of the things in our life that beat us down like pushing too much or looking for perfection before pursuing our goals. Your happiness should be a goal.

Are you happy?