You know the worst part of having 10 children is the fact that people equate more children with bad. People are amazed when we go in public that our children are well mannered and behaved. For me my children are busy but still behaved. As a homeschooling mother to a house full of children, I’m not going to lie, it can get overwhelming under certain circumstances like being short on funds but that has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.
I am disheartened at how some people, usually family, will discredit my ability to parent by finding something to fault me about when growing up with my children. I don’t like to say raise them because in many aspects they teach me. We have a reciprocal relationship opposed to a dictatorship. You will never find fault in our ability to “raise” our children. We do our best and that’s all we can do. That’s all anyone can do.
We keep ourselves private for this very reason. Its funny how that can trigger someone to look down on you.
Everyone who knows me knows that I love love and laughing. I am not controversial. I will often choose your feelings over mine to keep the peace. And I am always sincere in what I do. I am the biggest crybaby in private and simply quiet and composed in public. I hate to be the center of attention and will boost anybody up. I am a gentle soul, connected to other’s pains often trying to fix things. I think before I speak and I never take a bet I could possibly lose. Family is everything but mine comes first. I spend most of my brain power trying to fix a situation that should have long ago died.
At this point I am so mentally drained. McRush and I have managed to create our own village and I don’t know why I fight so hard to be apart of any other one. I guess I’m just so simple that I cannot comprehend why love isn’t simpler.
Wouldn’t it be great if we all could let one another be who they are they way they wanted to be. Gently nudging them when we see them off track. Hugging when needed, space likewise.
All of my life all I ever asked and prayed for was to be happy. I guess I should have asked that those who love me be happy for me too.
Do you find it hard to be happiest when others around you aren’t happy for you?