Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

Mini vacay

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I’m on the road right now and headed back home. I miss my babies. That’s right, I said it. Those same crumb snatching, time stealing, mommy-can-I rugrats I talk cash trash about. 🥰

I have been having a tough time time this past week finding my motivation, so this girls’ trip is just what I needed.

It was my mom, sister, and myself. The first of many to come, I hope. We’re not really talkers, so there was no “bonding,” but we are already close, so it was more about getting away and having some fun.

We slept in, went to breakfast, and hit up some stores for shopping. Of no surprise, most of our shopping was for the household or the children/husband’s. 🙄

It was a much needed break. I’ve had some time to reflect, and I think it’s time for me to do a purge. This next week, I think I’m going to deep clean my house and have a yard sale this Saturday (so if you’re local, come out). It’s not about making money. I just don’t feel like hauling it to the dump, so nothing will be over $10 (I think) 🤔. After that I am minimizing my time on social media. In addition, I think I’m going to purge my client list, so I need to start finding people who will take them. 😬

I have a few goals in mind, and I need to clear the clutter of my life in order to get to them. Did you know that if there is disorganization around you, it affects your motivation and actions? Sometimes, you will feel excited about an idea but completely unmotivated to do it if your surroundings are not organized. In order to move forward with progression, you must be able to move freely. That means mentally and physically.

As a mom of 12 I had to learn the hard way that I must have access to everything at all times in order to work efficiently and to do so there must be organization or else I will spend more time searching instead of acting.

What makes you work and think more efficiently?

I tried to be lazy y’all.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Listen. I love a shortcut just as much as the next person, but authenticity is so important to me, so some shortcuts are just not worth taking.

I have been having an amazing past couple of weeks, and that is why I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. If I’m being honest (always), I could have blogged, but I didn’t make it a priority like I should have.

If you’re new here, HI! 👋🏽 Like 👍🏽 comment 🗣 share 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 subscribe 📍

I have been aiming to blog every Sunday, and I get really good about it until I don’t, then it’s hit or miss for a few weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️. Well, today, I was like, let me throw something I’m ai and blog that. Simple, painless, and I can go to bed. Chiiiiile 🙄. This is exactly why I teach my clients that ai will not replace them, but it CAN enhance them. This is what I asked ai to blog about..

“Blog what it’s like to have a successful consulting business, married, and having 12 children as a black woman living in South carolina. ” This is what it gave me.

Having a successful consulting business, being married, and having 12 children is not an easy feat for anyone. However, doing all of this as a black woman living in South Carolina comes with its own unique set of challenges.

Firstly, as a black woman entrepreneur, it can be difficult to gain the same level of respect that male or white entrepreneurs receive in the business world. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to build a successful consulting business, but it can be done with perseverance and determination.

When it comes to being a mother to 12 children, it takes a lot of organization and time-management skills to balance work and family life. It’s important to have a supportive spouse and community to help with childcare and household tasks. Being a working mother can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding to set an example for your children and show them the value of hard work and determination.

Living in South Carolina as a black woman can also come with its own challenges, as the state has a complicated history with race relations. It’s important to find a supportive community and surround yourself with like-minded people who will lift you up and support your success.

Despite the challenges that come with building a successful consulting business, raising a large family, and being a black woman living in South Carolina, it is still possible to achieve your goals. With hard work, dedication, and a strong support system, anything is possible.

🙄. Just 🙄. Cause 🤔. NO 😔. This sounds nothing like me and has no depth, not connection, no encouragement, just words. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good content but not personal.

It is very important to me that I resonate with my people. It’s hard sometimes being all the things to all the people so I try to share my journey as openly and honestly as possible in hopes to encourage and remind people that we all have our hiccups but keep pressing AND take rest. You can do both without choosing.

What you CAN’T do is try to be lazy and have someone or something do it for you because you don’t want to.

I love you like cousins. ❤️

The silent angel

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As much as my husband and I are a team there is still not much he knows about me on a day to day basis. I have no doubt that he married me because I am a phenomenal woman but if he knew I had secret missions and powers it would blow his mind.

It’s one thirty in the morning and I have been battling a headache all day. All I want to do is rest. Not just sleep but rest. Yesterday I gave him a detailed rundown of what I had to do but because he was tired from his workday he barely acknowledged. I don’t fault him for this because he does work very hard and has long hour days and he does try to help before passing out from exhaustion. I joked about taking on another husband to help carry his load around the house. He didn’t find amusement in that. He never does.

I didn’t get to go to an event I was invited to today because I wasn’t feeling my best and the house urgently needed cleaning. My oldest son came home before being stationed out for the next four years and he pulled and sorted through all of his things packing what he was keeping. I then had to clean up bins and piles of what-nots in order to see what was to be thrown away. In addition, someone gave my littles a ton of clothes that I had to sort through, wash and fold. Gabriel is struggling in reading so I spent some time with him on that. My girls are also under the weather so I had to tend to them. Maia is in the midst of being potty trained so that takes repetition. I have a client that I’m working on grants for so I was searching the resources for that. Plus, I am building a portfolio for another client in addition to revamping mine. My 17 year old needed a ride to and from work and my room has been neglected for weeks now.

While everyone is sound asleep I tidied up, took Maia temperature and changed her training pants to her pullout in case she has an accident. I rocked Kera to sleep and put them in their beds.

McRush is battling tinnitus so I nudged him awake to put oil in his ear with a cotton swab. I am still battling this headache trying to keep it at bay to be sure it doesn’t turn into a migraine.

My mission is simple, to keep this house a home. My super power is being able to always show up even if that means little rest. I do it with a happy heart knowing even if they don’t see me do it they know it got done.

I have had a lot going on with the shift in business and how I run the household, mainly the children being in public school instead of homeschool. It’s a crazy transition right now but I am sure once we get the hang of it things will run more smoothly.

I oftentimes wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I do the same things. I like to think that I would but right now, mama needs some rest.

To all of the moms, or silent angels out there. I’m rooting for you. Now get some rest. ❤️

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

Naughty by nature.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Why are my children running around here cussing Y’all?

I mean like pros! It’s the littles. They get mad and spew out the “b” word in a hot flash. and don’t let them get hurt. They drop the “f” bomb in a way that would make a sailor proud. I can’t really say I am mad about it because there are times when I want to throw out a few explicit of my own, but alas, here I am trying to set a good example for these knuckleheads.

We are probably the most unholy holy people you will ever meet. We don’t cuss (at least McRush and I don’t), smoke, drink, party, or have unfit company, shoot we don’t even get out much. But not for reason of religion but reasons of choice. The RushBunch are not even allowed to watch television and when they do as a treat it is definitely a G rated movie, okay maybe there have been a few PG in there but you get my point.

Yes, I correct and chastise them but who chose these particular words as cuss words? My mother used to teach us that any word used out of anger or to humiliate or degrade someone was a cuss word so why these particular words?

Behind my closed bedroom doors, I laugh at their ability to grasp the context of the word to use it in a proper manner. Hmm, maybe I AM doing a great job homeschooling.

Or perhaps they overheard me listening to Cardi B.

-Rush

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

Be BOLD honey!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Can I be honest with you guys? I know I don’t have to ask that question because everyone who knows me, from clients to friends, know that I am an open book. You can literally ask me anything. I do not have time for secrets or facade. And I can honestly say that I have never said this before but 2018 is my YEAR!

Let me just toot my horn for a minute. I give phenomenal coaching advice and I am an awesome consultant. I don’t say this just because I believe it; because I do. I say it because I have coached and consulted hundreds of people and I, to date, have not had a single complaint, ever! Now here is my issue coupled with my transparency.

I suck at taking my own advice. Like literally. I will give out tips tricks and ideas for my clients to implement and next thing I know, they are calling me telling me how wonderful the outcome was and while I am completely happy for them, I could slap myself for not following suit. It’s ridiculous!

The problem is, I believe, my time. While my clients may be just starting their business and have none to maybe a couple of children, I have 10 so my structure is a little different. But you all know how I hate excuses so this year that is unacceptable. In addition, I am one of those people who hates to delegate because every time I do, it goes wrong. I have attempted at 3 virtual assistants and even hired one on but it just never seems to work out. Can a sister get an honest worker?! But this year, I am going to lose some of these time-consuming tasks and enjoy my business. I am going to shoot my shot and go big! You will be surprised at some of the things I have in the making for my company and my children!

Of Course, this means I will be blogging more so I am excited about that as well.

So share this blog and subscribe and let’s enjoy 2018!!!!

-Rush

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

Back in the swing of things.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

What does that even mean?

Closing out last year was pretty tough for me, my family, and my business. But alas, here we are in 2018 running free.

I stopped working on Rush Consulting Firm on November 1 in preparation for #10 within the coming weeks; unbeknownst to us, he would make an early arrival.

In that time things got tight and hectic and I realized the time I dedicated to taking off, albeit unwillingly, was much needed.

I have notes everywhere! In notebooks, post-it notes, whiteboards, notes on the fridge, on my phone, and on my laptop. I am finally sitting down and compiling them into the form necessary to build a prosperous brand in 2018.

What that actually means, although it sounds great, is late nights, early mornings, busy days, and long nights.

While on my break I have managed to mentally compile what will change for the businesses. I will utilize Heels & Hustle more, I will be scaling way down on Slips Socks and Bows, I will be pushing my erotica, and I will only work my set hours of Rush Consulting Firm. The children will go on a more structured (un)learning schedule and I am planning a vacation.

Now, while I have set all that in motion in my mind it is time to put in the hard work to make this come to fruition.

#1 has also decided to jump on the YouTube bandwagon and he wants to drag me along with. I do not mind because we have an awesome relationship but I do wonder how this may conflict with my plans. We shall see. I already told him he can not prank me in any way. I don’t like pranks or surprises… or gifts or being put on the spot but that is a list for another day.

I am excited that we have finally gotten our family pictures back but I cannot say I am 100% satisfied so since I am in the business of promoting businesses with my complete honesty, I will leave that alone.

I look to bring you bigger and better things in 2018 with the iRush Brand which include more youtube videos and more check-ins. Greater encouragement and maybe even a short summer tour as requested, but only for the east coast because Y’all not funding us….yet!

-Rush

View More: http://foreverinamemoryphotography.pass.us/rushfamily2017

Words mean something.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Sitting here having a conversation with McRush about words and the root of them.

I posted a while back on Facebook that I do not teach my children to say I am sorry, I apologize, or any variation thereof. Some people feel like I am cold for having this approach, you know because people are oftentimes so quick to judge. I will admit that for the most part I can seem a little distant and skeptical until you get to know me. This stems mostly from a history of being hurt and betrayed, lied to and led on. I am very forgiving though because, I believe, you either genuinely do not know any better or I just took too long to know the real you. I have learned that I cannot concern myself with your ignorance (for not knowing better) or callousness (for not caring about me the way I did you).

While I am easily a crybaby, usually from holding things in, I am not a very emotional person. I am, however an open book. I hide nothing and that includes my discontent.

The purpose behind me not allowing my children to say I am sorry is actually two fold. First, they are my children and they are far from ‘sorry’. They are smart, outstanding, and humble little people who are finding their purpose in life, there is nothing to be sorry about. Second, by stating you are sorry, you are implying you regret what has happened when in all actuality, you shouldn’t regret anything that happens in your life.

Things happen TO you or FOR you. Either way it is a lesson learned, and without learning a lesson, you will continually repeat the same “mistake” in life until you do.

If #7 is running and swinging his arms and as he runs past #8 hits him, naturally he would look back and say “I’m sorry” but keep going. But at a better glance, he isn’t ‘sorry’ because he kept running. Stating that you regret something happen is stating that you wish in never happened AND will take precautionary measures to assure it does not happen again.

What makes your words mean something are the actions in which follow your statement. For this reason I teach my children the root of the word and SHOWING their concern rather than their regret.

In the aforementioned incident, what #7 should do is stop, turn around and check on #8 as well as seeing if there is anything he can do to make the situation better.

Words mean nothing if your actions do not support it. Learning the root of words will keep you from saying things that you really don’t mean as well as forcing you to take the time to analyze your actions and learn from them.

I do not believe you should regret anything in life. Regret serves no purpose except to weigh you down with guilt and possibly shame. I do not have time for either. This oftentimes can be misconstrued as heartless and unkind but cannot be further from the truth. I, in fact, am very kind and full of giving. Anyone who knows me can vouch for me. I just have no time for foolishness and antics when it comes to living my life. If you have ever seen the show Bones, I am Bones.

-Rush