Trouble with technology

Posted on by JustAskMaia

With a large family like mine, you would think that there is no shortage of family time. And, while, for the most part, we do activities together there is a big disconnect that can bring up arguing and bickering. The feeling of not connecting or everyone really getting to know one another.

I attribute this to the overwhelming dependence of electronics. McRush and I definitely spoil our crew so its surely on us. Mostly me. When I see something I think the RushBunch would like, I’m pressed to get it. Whether its clothes, games, vacations, or electronics.

I suppose, in some way, I feel a sense of guilt for having 12 children. I always want to make sure they  feel loved and appreciated. This is more than likely from the pressures and whispers of friends, family, and even strangers, that “there is no way those children are getting enough love with that many children”.

I’m a giver. I give every part of me and that includes my pockets.

We have family night on Fridays and monthly family trips. But it doesn’t feel like enough to me. I am constantly loving on them. I talk to them one-on-one. I (probably) overshare. And yes, I buy them whatever they want. We even have one-on-one lunch dates.

The problem with this, aside from me being drained in every way, is that I fear I have created Takers. And while much of this could be a compilation of them growing up and finding themselves in addition to them being regular teenagers, they bicker A LOT. So much so that it feels, to me, like having an aversion towards one another. Though not disrespectful to myself or their father.

So, starting this month, today, McRush and I have implemented the following.

Now, while they do share time together, the dependency on their electronics has placed a bit of a strain on their relationships. This is my resolve, agreed to by McRush.  I thought I’d share in case anyone else needed it.

Things To Do
Tea party with the girls.
Play football with the boys.
Go for a walk with 2+ people
Play a family board game.
Get to know a sibling better
Play jump rope
Play hopscotch
Go skating together
Go for a bike ride with someone
Go skating outside
Play cards
Start (and finish) a chapter book with a little
Write your grandparents a letter
Volunteer for a neighbor
Teach someone something of value
Organize an area of the house
Do a chore for a sibling
Practice your signatures together
Do an art project with a little
Draw with someone
Color together
Teach someone a new dance
Create a handshake
Wash the cars together
Tell someone 5 things that you like about them
Journal with someone
Walk the Milo with someone
Have lunch with someone
Have a friendly competition
Do a chore together
Help someone reach a new goal
Create a ritual/habit together
Meditate with someone
Give out hugs and gratitude
Fix a family meal
Build something together
Share your hopes and dreams with someone
Create a new dish together
(You may create a group idea to be approved by parents)

Each of these quests should be dedicated a minimum of 15 minutes. No arguing or bickering, just calm resolve. You are required to do a minimum of three (3) per day. Failure to do so will result in the forfeiture of your electronics for 24 hours 1st offense, 48 hours the 2nd offense, 1 week your 3rd . Failure to cooperate will result in 30 days of forfeiture.
Electronics include TVs, laptops, switches, phones, iPad, and electric scooters.
-Mom & Dad

What do you think? Am I overthinking? Are my expectations too high? Let me know in the comments and feel free to share. ❤️

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

Family vacation my FOOT!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So I have been off of here for a few days and there is so much that I would like to share with you guys, my thoughts, interactions, and goings-ons, that I am going to have to post a few blogs tonight just to catch up.

Let us start with this “family vacation” we have recently gone on……..

I do not even know where to start but let me first say that whoever came up with the term FAMILY vacation was obviously delusional in every aspect of the matter. At no point during our trip to Myrtle Beach did I feel or have the remote inkling that I was on vacation. There was nothing that I did that said vacation. I will admit though that everything said, family.

We were blessed to be able to get a room for a very reasonable rate that had a kitchenette in it. There was a pool right outside our door and the beach was like a 45 second walk. The customer service was awesome. The keep was exceptionally pleasant and I even messed up a plate and they did not charge me for it (mostly due to the fact that I was honest and brought it to their attention first). The best part is they were a family and couples only hotel which meant everyone was civilized and respectful of one another. The best part was they never one time turned their noses up or turned us down once they found out that we have 9 children; this is especially a rarity for us when we travel.

Now, the trip. While I felt very extended while away because i was not only doing the same everyday things that I do at home, I had to do them in tighter living quarters and if you know me you would know that I hate clutter and cluttered situations but I digress for the good of the trip. I still had to get up and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still taught school and created daily lessons, I still worked for one of my clients (which I will not do ever again), and I still had to pack, unpack, and clean. This has brought me to the sad conclusion that no matter where I am I will always be slave, er, I mean mom.

My children are spoiled to the max and I am okay with that sometimes; on vacation is NOT one of those times.

I am just whining. Although I still felt like the nanny-cook-housekeeper-slave, the smiles and enjoyment from my children makes it all worth it. We went to the beach that my children beg to go to all the time but when we get there, they remember that they are deathly afraid of the water. The laughter I get from that alone makes the trip worthwhile. Lol. Likewise with the pool. Sai almost drowned in 3 feet even though he is 4 foot 2 inches tall. I laughed so hard at his dramatics that I almost forgot to save him (so his brother jumped in to do it). I kept yelling stand up but he was too busy being dramatic. And before you flood me with the fact that it is possible for him to drown in three feet while being over four feet tall, yes, I am well aware of that but if you knew Sai you would totally see why it was funny.

In the end (and even some parts of during) I did thoroughly enjoy the trip <—— (notice I didn’t say vacation). It was fun plus I got to hit some cool Thrift Stores on the way home.

 

-Rush