Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Mini vacay

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I’m on the road right now and headed back home. I miss my babies. That’s right, I said it. Those same crumb snatching, time stealing, mommy-can-I rugrats I talk cash trash about. 🥰

I have been having a tough time time this past week finding my motivation, so this girls’ trip is just what I needed.

It was my mom, sister, and myself. The first of many to come, I hope. We’re not really talkers, so there was no “bonding,” but we are already close, so it was more about getting away and having some fun.

We slept in, went to breakfast, and hit up some stores for shopping. Of no surprise, most of our shopping was for the household or the children/husband’s. 🙄

It was a much needed break. I’ve had some time to reflect, and I think it’s time for me to do a purge. This next week, I think I’m going to deep clean my house and have a yard sale this Saturday (so if you’re local, come out). It’s not about making money. I just don’t feel like hauling it to the dump, so nothing will be over $10 (I think) 🤔. After that I am minimizing my time on social media. In addition, I think I’m going to purge my client list, so I need to start finding people who will take them. 😬

I have a few goals in mind, and I need to clear the clutter of my life in order to get to them. Did you know that if there is disorganization around you, it affects your motivation and actions? Sometimes, you will feel excited about an idea but completely unmotivated to do it if your surroundings are not organized. In order to move forward with progression, you must be able to move freely. That means mentally and physically.

As a mom of 12 I had to learn the hard way that I must have access to everything at all times in order to work efficiently and to do so there must be organization or else I will spend more time searching instead of acting.

What makes you work and think more efficiently?

I tried to be lazy y’all.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Listen. I love a shortcut just as much as the next person, but authenticity is so important to me, so some shortcuts are just not worth taking.

I have been having an amazing past couple of weeks, and that is why I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. If I’m being honest (always), I could have blogged, but I didn’t make it a priority like I should have.

If you’re new here, HI! 👋🏽 Like 👍🏽 comment 🗣 share 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 subscribe 📍

I have been aiming to blog every Sunday, and I get really good about it until I don’t, then it’s hit or miss for a few weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️. Well, today, I was like, let me throw something I’m ai and blog that. Simple, painless, and I can go to bed. Chiiiiile 🙄. This is exactly why I teach my clients that ai will not replace them, but it CAN enhance them. This is what I asked ai to blog about..

“Blog what it’s like to have a successful consulting business, married, and having 12 children as a black woman living in South carolina. ” This is what it gave me.

Having a successful consulting business, being married, and having 12 children is not an easy feat for anyone. However, doing all of this as a black woman living in South Carolina comes with its own unique set of challenges.

Firstly, as a black woman entrepreneur, it can be difficult to gain the same level of respect that male or white entrepreneurs receive in the business world. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to build a successful consulting business, but it can be done with perseverance and determination.

When it comes to being a mother to 12 children, it takes a lot of organization and time-management skills to balance work and family life. It’s important to have a supportive spouse and community to help with childcare and household tasks. Being a working mother can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding to set an example for your children and show them the value of hard work and determination.

Living in South Carolina as a black woman can also come with its own challenges, as the state has a complicated history with race relations. It’s important to find a supportive community and surround yourself with like-minded people who will lift you up and support your success.

Despite the challenges that come with building a successful consulting business, raising a large family, and being a black woman living in South Carolina, it is still possible to achieve your goals. With hard work, dedication, and a strong support system, anything is possible.

🙄. Just 🙄. Cause 🤔. NO 😔. This sounds nothing like me and has no depth, not connection, no encouragement, just words. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good content but not personal.

It is very important to me that I resonate with my people. It’s hard sometimes being all the things to all the people so I try to share my journey as openly and honestly as possible in hopes to encourage and remind people that we all have our hiccups but keep pressing AND take rest. You can do both without choosing.

What you CAN’T do is try to be lazy and have someone or something do it for you because you don’t want to.

I love you like cousins. ❤️

The silent angel

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As much as my husband and I are a team there is still not much he knows about me on a day to day basis. I have no doubt that he married me because I am a phenomenal woman but if he knew I had secret missions and powers it would blow his mind.

It’s one thirty in the morning and I have been battling a headache all day. All I want to do is rest. Not just sleep but rest. Yesterday I gave him a detailed rundown of what I had to do but because he was tired from his workday he barely acknowledged. I don’t fault him for this because he does work very hard and has long hour days and he does try to help before passing out from exhaustion. I joked about taking on another husband to help carry his load around the house. He didn’t find amusement in that. He never does.

I didn’t get to go to an event I was invited to today because I wasn’t feeling my best and the house urgently needed cleaning. My oldest son came home before being stationed out for the next four years and he pulled and sorted through all of his things packing what he was keeping. I then had to clean up bins and piles of what-nots in order to see what was to be thrown away. In addition, someone gave my littles a ton of clothes that I had to sort through, wash and fold. Gabriel is struggling in reading so I spent some time with him on that. My girls are also under the weather so I had to tend to them. Maia is in the midst of being potty trained so that takes repetition. I have a client that I’m working on grants for so I was searching the resources for that. Plus, I am building a portfolio for another client in addition to revamping mine. My 17 year old needed a ride to and from work and my room has been neglected for weeks now.

While everyone is sound asleep I tidied up, took Maia temperature and changed her training pants to her pullout in case she has an accident. I rocked Kera to sleep and put them in their beds.

McRush is battling tinnitus so I nudged him awake to put oil in his ear with a cotton swab. I am still battling this headache trying to keep it at bay to be sure it doesn’t turn into a migraine.

My mission is simple, to keep this house a home. My super power is being able to always show up even if that means little rest. I do it with a happy heart knowing even if they don’t see me do it they know it got done.

I have had a lot going on with the shift in business and how I run the household, mainly the children being in public school instead of homeschool. It’s a crazy transition right now but I am sure once we get the hang of it things will run more smoothly.

I oftentimes wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I do the same things. I like to think that I would but right now, mama needs some rest.

To all of the moms, or silent angels out there. I’m rooting for you. Now get some rest. ❤️

Trouble on the blue app

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Whew. Who knew I could be so popular 😅

I recently ran an ad on Facebook and I had racists coming out of the woodwork for my neck. Don’t worry, I got receipts. One guy called me a diversity hire ” swooping in at a time when people don’t have any money”. WHO doesn’t have money? Listen, if you’re broke just say that. 😳 Another guy went on to talk about how trump was up in the polls. This concerns me how? We already knew his numbers would jump given his general target audience. 🤷🏾 It’s crazy. Then I have people jumping down my throat about my stance on the writers strike and I don’t know why because I support the strike. I just wish they would be able to read the fine print in their contracts so they can seek a better deal.

Either way, the talks, chatter, and disses only bring me more visibility and that is what made me keep my cool. Cause inside I wanted to say a few choice words but I wanted to remain professional because the success of my brand and my business is what I am after. Period.

Even before the shenanigans it has been a rollercoaster of a week. For those that don’t know, I registered my children for public school and for all but one of them, my senior, that have never been in that setting so there was plenty of confusion the first week but we made it through. Hopefully we start off on the good foot tomorrow and from there on.

I met with a radio exec who wants me to come on his show and talk about black businesses and their growth. I also did an interview for insider magazine so I’ll let you know when that drops. I signed a new client and also, I am back in the grant writing game for another client. So this week has been a whirlwind of emotions but I am so very grateful through it all.

I need to record a podcast tomorrow and write a blog for Rush Consulting Firm, which I must say is doing phenomenal. My advice for you this week is let the noise be loud but don’t let it get to you.

Transparent ask for help

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I need a mentor.

Where I am:
Business is at $850,000. 1 location. 2 employees. I am paying myself less than 5k a month. I’m busier than I’d like to be.

Where I’m going:
Open another location in Philadelphia. Get RCF to $1.5. Hire 3 more staff members. Featured in Forbes and Inc. Magazine (without paying for it). Increase my salary by Q1 2024

What I need: Guidance from someone who has been where I am trying to go. Introductions to more c-level executives through networking. Collaborations to scale. Knowledge to increase my expertise.

What I bring to the table:
The tenacity to excel. The audacity to know I can. I am a quick and zealous learner. I have knowledge and expertise that just need to be molded to the next level.

When:
I am looking to connect with a mentor and outline what we can do together this week and be ready to start by 8/15

Reach out if this is you, Maisharush@gmail.com
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Here me out.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

It’s been about a month or so since I have blogged, and I’m just barely making it tonight. 🙃

I don’t know if it’s the excitement of all of these new ai options or the fact that it’s almost LEO season, but I am feeling rejuvenated. I didn’t get in any fights, I didn’t beat my kids, and I didn’t run away from home. Although I do threaten with it. (Judge your mama 👵) But for me, a win is a win because they are few and far between around here.

Nothing personal really happened, and I do truly try to keep this blog a little separate from business unless it’s relevant. But, I have so much going on with the firm, and I am so excited. I am putting out 3 membership sites over the course of the next couple of months. Plus, I am taking classes again, and I am trying to shape my own ai, which is hella exciting to me, seeing as I hate learning technology.

I tried to get with tiktok, but I just can’t invest time with another app. I did manage to get over 10k followers. Maybe when I get out of this creativity storm so I can calm down. I’ll set a strategy for tiktok because if we can be some type of affiliate in alignment with my brand, that would be great.

We found our house. It’s in another state, so I’m hoping it will still be available when we are ready to sell this one and be able to dedicate the time to get it ready.

I gave Reggie my Lexis, so for now, I’m stuck driving the bus (transit) or McRush’s manly truck. Sometimes I will drive his Lexis, but man, do I miss my baby. I wonder if Lincoln would be willing to sponsor me for that new navigator. 👀 I wonder who I have to talk to in order to make that happen. 🤔

I know I pulled myself up from my bootstraps from nothing but hustle to finally coming into my ease and flow stage, although I never pictured that stage breastfeeding and changing diapers. 🤣 But I am not too bougie to play that lotto! Have you guys seen the numbers? If I win, it’s going to be straight quick pick cause I be having ZERO strategy. But I only play like 1 to 2x a year, so I give myself a by.

If I win, I PROMISE I won’t tell ya 🤪.

Have you guys played with that new headshot generating ai? Remini, I believe it’s called. It was fun, but most of them look like a much younger version of myself or too cartoon. I’m going to post them on the bottom of my blogs until I run out, so don’t be commenting on how fake they look. I’m glad they look fake because they are. 🤣