Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Transparent ask for help

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I need a mentor.

Where I am:
Business is at $850,000. 1 location. 2 employees. I am paying myself less than 5k a month. I’m busier than I’d like to be.

Where I’m going:
Open another location in Philadelphia. Get RCF to $1.5. Hire 3 more staff members. Featured in Forbes and Inc. Magazine (without paying for it). Increase my salary by Q1 2024

What I need: Guidance from someone who has been where I am trying to go. Introductions to more c-level executives through networking. Collaborations to scale. Knowledge to increase my expertise.

What I bring to the table:
The tenacity to excel. The audacity to know I can. I am a quick and zealous learner. I have knowledge and expertise that just need to be molded to the next level.

When:
I am looking to connect with a mentor and outline what we can do together this week and be ready to start by 8/15

Reach out if this is you, Maisharush@gmail.com
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How to homeschool without going crazy 😲

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. 🤗

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget 🙂)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

Homeschooling 101

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So you want to homeschool.

I often get many questions and blessings about homeschooling. It is usually followed up by statements like, “I wish I could homeschool but I don’t know where to start.” or “I don’t have the time.” Well I am here to bust both of those questions and many more in this blog to help you get started.

First, in case you do not know, I am a Business owner of a small consulting firm called Rush Consulting Firm. This business is my pride and joy. It is one I built from the ground up and am able to work anytime and anywhere. With that being said, though my schedule is very flexible, it is still a very demanding position as I wear many hats within the company. So while I can bend my schedule like some of you may not be able to, that also means I work, oftentimes, into the early morning hours of the day. I do get tired and I do get cranky but homeschooling is definitely something I am committed to. I have a cheat for those moments that will allow you a moment to breathe and regather yourself while your children still learn even without you around.

I will say right up front that I do not follow any type of curriculum, I do what I call ‘free teaching’. What that means is while there are a plethora of academic platforms to educate your children, I choose, for personal reasons, not to use any of them.

I will admit that I was thoroughly confused as to where to start and what to teach but I was, and still am, so determined to educate my children according to what I now know as an adult as well as where they are currently in the own educational position that I had to put in some creative work and research to better advance the minds of my children.

I will also forewarn you that, I am all about teaching my children self love and self respect in addition to others, which is something that is not taught in the public school, or private school for that matter, education system. I believe in positive affirmations and daily reminders of who they are and what they can accomplish while including their fellow peers.

For starters, I enrolled in Homeschool Legal Defense Association in the event that I incur any legal issues, because I’m going to be honest, as a black woman I am always mindful of my rights as a parent and I am also aware that I am still black. (That is my stance and it is not up for debate.)

Let me tell you why I pulled my children from the public school system.

My oldest son has always been an advanced honor student who had made a’s and B’s his entire life through the eighth grade, when he was enrolled in High School, I was told he had to go to a particular school which was predominately black. In my experience since moving to the south, That usually means less care (teachers not being paid their worth, struggling academically, less resources, etc) but I didn’t know then what I know now and I went along even against my better judgement because my son was smart. Well, turns out, I was correct. While there were a handful of awesome teachers and administrative staff there, my son kept coming home with straight F’s. Now I am no fool, I know my son paid a part in this as well, however, I should have known this school was not going to give my child the push I know he needed to continue to accelerate.

My other oldest was diagnosed with ADHD, I am not even going to get into that whole agenda. But due to this, he struggled in school because the teacher, due to lack of understanding and compassion, would simple place him in the back of the class, oftentimes giving him an attitude for asking questions, and write inappropriate notes on his papers and in his planner.

My oldest daughter was too smart for the level she was in and often would simply be advocated as teachers assistant to help teach her peers in class. I could already see that this was going to lead down a road to boredom and failing grades.

So, I pulled them. All 5 who were currently enrolled in the Public school system. Now there are 7 technically but of course my rule is, ‘If I’m teaching, you’re learning’ so all 9 are in class Monday through Friday with light review work on the weekends. I am free to teach my children on any level I please, because again, I do not follow any curriculum.

How do I do it? Google. Just kidding. That is my starting point however. I literally googled ‘What should my child know by the end of [whatever grade they are in]. I teach all of my children a level up and that is where the weekend review comes in, That is stuff ‘on their level’ to be sure I am not moving too fast and they know what they should.

For my littles, I go to the dollar tree and get the educational workbooks. I take them home and dismantle them into one page lessons. I separate the by grade level and I make packets that consist of 5 to 6 pages (they are front and back, so you end up with 10 to 12 pages of work. I designate the packets into their individual work spaces and in the mornings, they know to grab a packet and get started. You can do this up the fifth grade from the dollar tree but Barnes and Nobles also have activity books up to the eighth grade that you can do this with. It usually takes them anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or more to complete these daily packets. Then you can take a break or continue on teaching.

We have a Goodwill here that sells by the bulk. Thank goodness for this because its where I get most of my academic books from. I believe the books are 50 cents a pound versus 2.99 a book at regular Goodwill stores. I have every level of every book you need to graduate your child from high school and probably college. Anything from literature to microeconomics. My oldest even works from some college books we have. My children excel daily and I can see it. That is something I never experienced in public schools. We also use Khan Academy which is available on an app as well as youtube. My children utilize it for a clearer understanding of what I teach in class in addition to jumping ahead.

I signed up for ABC mouse for my 3-6 year old children but it was too easy and they breezed through it in one day, so I cancelled my subscription. I have learned that my children, and I am sure many others, learn much better in a one on one environment. And while I have nine children I teach, They still get plenty of one on one everyday.

I buy index cards and everything goes on them! Colors, shapes, numbers, sight words, alphabets, addition, subtraction, multiplication, sentences structures, you name it and I am pretty sure I have a stack of flash cards.

The state I am in mandates 4.5 hours a day of learning, and I know some of you may say, I just don’t have four hours to dedicate. Well, remember, this does not have to be a consecutive four hours but also this includes self or Montessori style teaching as well, remember those packets?

Also, trips to the grocery store can be used as a math lesson. Trips to the zoo can be a counted as a science trip. A family trip can be a geography lesson. Paying bills can be an economics lesson. So keep these little things in mind.

I have been slow to put this together because I want to make sure I cover most, if not all of your questions. It does not have to be hard. If you have a difficult child, it will do you and him/her some good to spend more time together to better learn one another. They are human too and thus have emotions. Having sessions discussing this could also be counted as a psychology lesson. <—- See what I did there?

So in closing, Be creative, take charge of your child’s growth and development. Trust me, You will never regret it! You will definitely learn as well along the way. And if you have any questions, I am always available. My contact information is on the front page of the blog.

-Rush

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