Day two

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today was harder than yesterday. I had to sniff dinner for a slice of mental satisfaction. I am light headed but I think that is all in my mind because there have been plenty days where I have inadvertently eaten way less than these smoothies and celery. I will admit that I have had a bit more clarity- when I am not thinking of food. Oh my gosh, a whopper right now though! I would like to add that, even though I know your weight fluctuates on this challenge, I am still going to take pride in the fact that I lost three and a half pounds in one day. My detox tea I ordered from Amazon will be in tomorrow too, apparently I was supposed to have some on hand before starting but better late than never right.

I was able to come up with a few financial plans for myself and family. My goal is to help as many people as I can build a foundation of generational wealth, whether it be from starting your own company or investing/saving. I have decided to get back into multi level marketing, or mlm as some may know it. I had my eyes on this one venue but I have been introduced to something else so now I have to make a decision…or do I? I have no problem with multiple streams of income especially when I can afford the initial start up cost which for some companies can be astronomical. I will keep you posted as to which ones I am looking into and choose. I have no problem passing on information.

As far as homeschooling, today was pretty basic, I actually let Te’ teach the children their math essentials and number recognition. He seems to make it more fun than I do so I may have to start paying him for his services and hire him on Tuesdays. I have also come to realize that my children absorb knowledge better in the evenings. So, I will now be teaching them in the evenings after they have played out all of their energy. This also works in my favor because I have decided to give social media a rest for awhile so I can focus on good old fashion foot work. Yep, I am getting out and hitting businesses face to face. I am a little nervous because while this is nothing new to me, I have a direct goal to meet by November so I have to be more firm and not so passive which is hard for me because I am a big ol’ softy. You can pull on my heart strings with a sneeze.

I think that about covers it for today.

-Rush
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Family vacation my FOOT!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

So I have been off of here for a few days and there is so much that I would like to share with you guys, my thoughts, interactions, and goings-ons, that I am going to have to post a few blogs tonight just to catch up.

Let us start with this “family vacation” we have recently gone on……..

I do not even know where to start but let me first say that whoever came up with the term FAMILY vacation was obviously delusional in every aspect of the matter. At no point during our trip to Myrtle Beach did I feel or have the remote inkling that I was on vacation. There was nothing that I did that said vacation. I will admit though that everything said, family.

We were blessed to be able to get a room for a very reasonable rate that had a kitchenette in it. There was a pool right outside our door and the beach was like a 45 second walk. The customer service was awesome. The keep was exceptionally pleasant and I even messed up a plate and they did not charge me for it (mostly due to the fact that I was honest and brought it to their attention first). The best part is they were a family and couples only hotel which meant everyone was civilized and respectful of one another. The best part was they never one time turned their noses up or turned us down once they found out that we have 9 children; this is especially a rarity for us when we travel.

Now, the trip. While I felt very extended while away because i was not only doing the same everyday things that I do at home, I had to do them in tighter living quarters and if you know me you would know that I hate clutter and cluttered situations but I digress for the good of the trip. I still had to get up and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still taught school and created daily lessons, I still worked for one of my clients (which I will not do ever again), and I still had to pack, unpack, and clean. This has brought me to the sad conclusion that no matter where I am I will always be slave, er, I mean mom.

My children are spoiled to the max and I am okay with that sometimes; on vacation is NOT one of those times.

I am just whining. Although I still felt like the nanny-cook-housekeeper-slave, the smiles and enjoyment from my children makes it all worth it. We went to the beach that my children beg to go to all the time but when we get there, they remember that they are deathly afraid of the water. The laughter I get from that alone makes the trip worthwhile. Lol. Likewise with the pool. Sai almost drowned in 3 feet even though he is 4 foot 2 inches tall. I laughed so hard at his dramatics that I almost forgot to save him (so his brother jumped in to do it). I kept yelling stand up but he was too busy being dramatic. And before you flood me with the fact that it is possible for him to drown in three feet while being over four feet tall, yes, I am well aware of that but if you knew Sai you would totally see why it was funny.

In the end (and even some parts of during) I did thoroughly enjoy the trip <—— (notice I didn’t say vacation). It was fun plus I got to hit some cool Thrift Stores on the way home.

 

-Rush

National outcry after mom arrested for whipping child

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I am going to make this quick and painless for you because I rarely make it a point to blog back to back. Shoot, I can barely blog daily like I want to. However, I just read about a woman who beat her children and was arrested for it. Not only that the children are now in child services custody.

Now, I know a lot of people don’t believe in spanking, whooping, beating, or tearing that behind up….wait, let me first say that I think that is a load of crap because every parent has their moment when they know their child needs a quick hand to the back side. Okay, now that I have said that….

This woman is a great mom! There are some mothers who would have done nothing nor would they have made their children give the stolen goods back. This woman, this MOTHER chose to do what needed to be done to set them right. people can say all day that she should have talked to them or grounded them but talk to them about what, how stealing is wrong? At the age of 13 I am sure that even if this conversation had never taken place, which I highly doubt, I am so sure that the children involved already knew that stealing is not right. As a toddler you even know when you sneak things its wrong so I impose upon you to riddle me this, what should she have talked about?

I have been blessed with children that I do not oftentimes have to go to this extreme, and I use that word lightly because there is nothing extreme about lighting some fire on that tale, but I will. I tell my children all the time, I will dial the number for you and pack your bags for you honey. My children think I am the worst parent ever because I use the method my mom and dad used on me, they talked me to death about my actions. Half the time I was crying because I just wanted them to shut up not because I felt bad but that’s a secret (even though my mom reads my blogs faithfully. (HI MOM!)) But it worked. That is not going to work for everyone and that’s the truth. My best friend used to take everything she ever bought her daughter. Bed, clothes, toys, dresser, etc. All she had was the carpet to sleep on and what clothes she had on her back all weekend. That worked for her daughter. I have a friend that uses scripture to discipline her children. Whatever they did wrong, she would find scripture for it and make them write it 100 times and then write an essay about what they did and why it was wrong. That didn’t work for her kids because they are bad as hell, but you get my point. Everything doesn’t work for everyone. This woman knows her children. Let her discipline her children because the death penalty is much better right.

 

-Rush

Maia is tired. Maia is overwhelmed.. Don’t be like Maia.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hello, my loves. Let me first start off by apologizing for my lack of blogging. It’s not that I don’t post because I have nothing to post rather it’s really the opposite. I cannot describe how full my life is. Well, I probably can but I am too full of procrastination to do better. See, the thing is, I am honestly not sure if it is because I procrastinate, which by the way I swear is generational curse, or whether it’s because I am so overwhelmed that I just do not feel like it. Maybe it’s a little of both but I cannot rid myself of the nagging feeling that I could do better.

 

While I have a ton of things to update you on, I will contain myself to talk to you about an important lesson I seem to keep learning over and over again. Don’t spread yourself thin. Although you may have the strongest heart’s desire to do so, you cannot help everyone.

 

Last night I posted a fraction of what my family went through and why we now do what we do with Rush Consulting Firm. It stated as follows:

 

“In 2012 I lost my job and my husband had already lost his. We became homeless and living in our car. Everywhere we went no one could or was willing to help us, including the church we went to. It was hard. We slept in our truck with our children (4 of them at the time). We washed at gas stations and fast food restaurants. We would get out early to labor pools just so we could pay the car note (our current HOME note) about once a week we would be able to check into a hotel to thoroughly wash and get a decent night’s sleep. No charities, No churches would help because we were a big family and they had no resources or room for us. We applied for government assistance but could not get it because we did not have an address. That is how Rush Consulting Firm was born, initially a resource and research business for the less fortunate it turned into a full time business with an array of services. Our most important goal still to this day is helping people because we have been there. We are sincere in everything we do because we believe we were not meant to struggle and if each one of us would just reach out and lend a hand, we wouldn’t. We start with us and hope everyone we help will pass it on.”

 

My intent was to post so people know that we have been where they are and teach them how to press forward and use their experience as a mountain of hope to others and while I am sure it came across to many that way, it also was taken as an offer of assistance to those whom have found themselves in our once similar position. And though I have no financial means or initial intentions what-so-ever to aid or assist anyone, only a fool would turn a blind eye to what could easily be a nightmare to my sister or brother.

 

The strings on my heart hang very low so are easily tugged. I used to hate it because people know I will do all I can to help someone, anyone. I have learned over the years not to hate the woman that God has made me to be, sensitivity and all. I over extend myself often. I put more on my shoulders than I am able to carry. I cry when I see someone in pain. I grind my teeth at injustice. Yet, I oftentimes find myself standing alone in my troubles and drowning in my fears feeling as though no one understands and I think to myself, that is probably how these people feel. I can’t help but to fantasize about helping every single person who comes across my path. But how can I? That’s easy, one person at a time; one sleepless night at a time. I cannot do it all but I will continue to try.

 

I will not sit here and tell you that is that hard because it isn’t; all it takes is a made up mind and a lot of dedication. I have that. I also will not say it is that easy because it surely is not.

Only a black woman will truly understand

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I had a moment. Its gone. I am so angry and I just don’t know why. Is it a stigma I was born with because I am a black woman? I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that we are all bred to be angry. What happened? I am going to lay it all out on the paper today. I will not proofread it or I will change it or not publish it.
I am on a journey to dig deep onto the revelation of the “Why” of an angry black woman. THIS angry black woman. As I sit and ponder about this subject, I began to wonder if it truly is our upbringing. We as women are bred to believe that we are to keep our mouths shut and find our place as a child. and mind our parents, suppressing any thoughts of anger or resentment without speaking how you feel. Taught to do as you are told and do as I say not as I do. I oftentimes wonder if this is the root of the anger of a black woman. Black boys are allowed to go out and dig ditches and play in the dirt,get into fist fights with other boys, argue with their neighbors children. They don’t have to do the same chores that we have to do. As I dig deep, I think about the difference in the way that we are raised as a black family. We are raised as little girls to act like a lady, carry of yourself accordingly, never really given the opportunity to express ourselves. On the other hand, boys- black boys- can do what they want “they’re just being boys” we are taught not to scrape up our knees or scuff our shins, hold your pinky up when you drink your tea. There are no rules to being a black boy. Now that I think about it we are raised to be angry black women not purposely and not because something happened to us. Its just the way that families are raised. “Girls don’t do that, girls don’t behave like that, black girls don’t act like that.” We’re raised to suppress what we are really truly feeling and usually the first relationship we get into we act the way we were raised; our first boyfriend respects that but as soon as we speak on something that we are angry about they give us a sideways look like we’re trying to act brand new but the truth is we’re mad and we are mad from within. We over react when we’re upset because we don’t know HOW to react when we’re upset, we weren’t taught to say what’s on your mind. We weren’t taught to say how we feel. We were taught to be delicate and soft and gentle but the truth of the matter is, some of us aren’t soft and delicate and gentle. The bottom line is we don’t know how to connect with our emotions, we don’t know how to casually speak that we’re angry or say that you did something to upset us. We hold it in and we suppress it. There’s a box of sensitivity within that holds that suppression and we get angry and we put it in the box we get mad and we put it in the box. We suppress it and suppress it and suppress it until the box of sensitivity can explode with just one touch. One wrong word from anyone. Who is that someone? Our mates. Because no matter how angry we get we were raised to respect our parents to act like a lady to stay in our place and to stay dainty. So that box of sensitivity will never explode on our parents. I believe that the anger that we hold with in starts from a very young age so yes sometimes, sometimes I am an angry black woman. And do you want to know the truth about it? I hate it. I hate being labeled as an angry black woman. I’ve been married for years and there’s a woman within that my husband doesn’t even know because I’m taught to suppress it and when I start to express it I lose my mind and he hates it so I suppress it. I don’t know how to express it so really there is no one thing that makes me mad there is no one man that’s made me mad, its life. Life is expression but if I can’t express myself then I’m not really living am I? I make a vow this day to teach my daughters that’s it is okay to express themselves. It is okay to say when you are upset or when you are hurt or when you are angry. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry. It’s NOT okay to hold on to it. I employ all of my black women, light skin, brown skin, dark skin, honey, peanut butter; it doesn’t matter what complexion you are, a black woman is a black woman and I am a black woman. I am raising black women we need to stand with one another and for one another find the roots of your anger and confront it. Our anger is not towards each other. We need to learn that, we need to know that, we need to own that. Accept that the key to growing is accountability. Take the accountability for your actions, it is the only way you can grow. It is the only way we will shake this stigma from our bones. I will lead the way by starting with me.
-Rush

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