Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

The silent angel

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As much as my husband and I are a team there is still not much he knows about me on a day to day basis. I have no doubt that he married me because I am a phenomenal woman but if he knew I had secret missions and powers it would blow his mind.

It’s one thirty in the morning and I have been battling a headache all day. All I want to do is rest. Not just sleep but rest. Yesterday I gave him a detailed rundown of what I had to do but because he was tired from his workday he barely acknowledged. I don’t fault him for this because he does work very hard and has long hour days and he does try to help before passing out from exhaustion. I joked about taking on another husband to help carry his load around the house. He didn’t find amusement in that. He never does.

I didn’t get to go to an event I was invited to today because I wasn’t feeling my best and the house urgently needed cleaning. My oldest son came home before being stationed out for the next four years and he pulled and sorted through all of his things packing what he was keeping. I then had to clean up bins and piles of what-nots in order to see what was to be thrown away. In addition, someone gave my littles a ton of clothes that I had to sort through, wash and fold. Gabriel is struggling in reading so I spent some time with him on that. My girls are also under the weather so I had to tend to them. Maia is in the midst of being potty trained so that takes repetition. I have a client that I’m working on grants for so I was searching the resources for that. Plus, I am building a portfolio for another client in addition to revamping mine. My 17 year old needed a ride to and from work and my room has been neglected for weeks now.

While everyone is sound asleep I tidied up, took Maia temperature and changed her training pants to her pullout in case she has an accident. I rocked Kera to sleep and put them in their beds.

McRush is battling tinnitus so I nudged him awake to put oil in his ear with a cotton swab. I am still battling this headache trying to keep it at bay to be sure it doesn’t turn into a migraine.

My mission is simple, to keep this house a home. My super power is being able to always show up even if that means little rest. I do it with a happy heart knowing even if they don’t see me do it they know it got done.

I have had a lot going on with the shift in business and how I run the household, mainly the children being in public school instead of homeschool. It’s a crazy transition right now but I am sure once we get the hang of it things will run more smoothly.

I oftentimes wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I do the same things. I like to think that I would but right now, mama needs some rest.

To all of the moms, or silent angels out there. I’m rooting for you. Now get some rest. ❤️

Trouble on the blue app

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Whew. Who knew I could be so popular 😅

I recently ran an ad on Facebook and I had racists coming out of the woodwork for my neck. Don’t worry, I got receipts. One guy called me a diversity hire ” swooping in at a time when people don’t have any money”. WHO doesn’t have money? Listen, if you’re broke just say that. 😳 Another guy went on to talk about how trump was up in the polls. This concerns me how? We already knew his numbers would jump given his general target audience. 🤷🏾 It’s crazy. Then I have people jumping down my throat about my stance on the writers strike and I don’t know why because I support the strike. I just wish they would be able to read the fine print in their contracts so they can seek a better deal.

Either way, the talks, chatter, and disses only bring me more visibility and that is what made me keep my cool. Cause inside I wanted to say a few choice words but I wanted to remain professional because the success of my brand and my business is what I am after. Period.

Even before the shenanigans it has been a rollercoaster of a week. For those that don’t know, I registered my children for public school and for all but one of them, my senior, that have never been in that setting so there was plenty of confusion the first week but we made it through. Hopefully we start off on the good foot tomorrow and from there on.

I met with a radio exec who wants me to come on his show and talk about black businesses and their growth. I also did an interview for insider magazine so I’ll let you know when that drops. I signed a new client and also, I am back in the grant writing game for another client. So this week has been a whirlwind of emotions but I am so very grateful through it all.

I need to record a podcast tomorrow and write a blog for Rush Consulting Firm, which I must say is doing phenomenal. My advice for you this week is let the noise be loud but don’t let it get to you.

Friiiiiiiiieeeeeends!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all! Oh em gee! Its been so long. Why y’all let me go this long without talking to you?! 😜 I have so much to tell you! Like seriously.

Did I even tell you guys about Maia? 🤔

Shoot! Well, I am finally writing that book. Yes hunty! It is TIME. My business is booming, I’m traveling SOLO! Girl let me tell you, life is GOODT!

I just got back from a 4 day Vegas trip. 😍 I lost $325 though. Gambling is NOT for me but I had fun. I thought I would miss the children but I missed them less when I called McRush and they were yelling in the background 😂.

I took random naps. Had morning mimosas or shots ← Judge ya mama 🙄. I even snuck in a smoke 🤗 ← again…. ya mama.

I don’t have to tell you that this was a much needed trip. This is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

Self care is so important especially as a wife, mother and business owner. Free time in my house, especially with 10 children, is scarce around these parts.

I have a partnership with Dell, ADP, and was recently given the position as District Implementation Director with Black Wall Street. I have been recently published in a few magazines, guest host on a few podcasts and radio shows and I am so excited to share more in a couple of weeks.

For now I am just checking in and I Hope you are following me on social media for more. I really want you on this journey with me because I want you to live you best life too. You deserve it..

Dear covid…..

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all. I hope everyone is safe out here in these covid streets.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Business shifts, financial shifts, and more importantly personal shifts.

After YEARS of working my business o am just now realizing that I need to take care of me too. I mean I bathe and stuff but its deeper than that right. I have decided to hire a cleaning crew to come to the house. And right now I am looking for a Day nanny.

I know people have been saying self care for years and things like “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. My cup has been empty so long that I have just been used to the drain. Being a mom is running a business and in many aspects so is marriage. Then to actually be running a business, being a mentor, and volunteering can definitely take its toll.

I incorporated baths into my regime. Yes, baths. I shower everyday, sometimes twice a day. But nothing relaxes you like locking your bathroom door and sitting in a hot tub… maybe even bubbles. I deserve bubbles right. 😉

But more importantly I am incorporating delegating because just because we can do it all doesn’t mean we should. There are things we need to do,, especially as moms, and Madam Maxine Waters said, reclaim our time.

My babies are healthy and my husband is happy so I think I do a pretty good job. But at the end of the day I am absolutely burned out.

I hired a coach to get my business life together because like I say all the time, if your coach doesn’t have a coach then they are a hypocrite. How can I, as a coach, tell you that you need a business coach but not have one myself. I have had several coaches over the years and its time I added me to the list of things to support. (My coach would agree) I have decided to take an hiatus from the fave of the business to work the back end and hire those who can help.

Covid has caused many of us to transition to virtual meetings and meet ups with our friends and family but what I take it as is we all need a moment to slow down.

I am grateful to be among the many untouched by this crazy thing and I am praying for all those who may not be able to say the same. We have to take control of the things in our life that beat us down like pushing too much or looking for perfection before pursuing our goals. Your happiness should be a goal.

Are you happy?

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

Day two

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today was harder than yesterday. I had to sniff dinner for a slice of mental satisfaction. I am light headed but I think that is all in my mind because there have been plenty days where I have inadvertently eaten way less than these smoothies and celery. I will admit that I have had a bit more clarity- when I am not thinking of food. Oh my gosh, a whopper right now though! I would like to add that, even though I know your weight fluctuates on this challenge, I am still going to take pride in the fact that I lost three and a half pounds in one day. My detox tea I ordered from Amazon will be in tomorrow too, apparently I was supposed to have some on hand before starting but better late than never right.

I was able to come up with a few financial plans for myself and family. My goal is to help as many people as I can build a foundation of generational wealth, whether it be from starting your own company or investing/saving. I have decided to get back into multi level marketing, or mlm as some may know it. I had my eyes on this one venue but I have been introduced to something else so now I have to make a decision…or do I? I have no problem with multiple streams of income especially when I can afford the initial start up cost which for some companies can be astronomical. I will keep you posted as to which ones I am looking into and choose. I have no problem passing on information.

As far as homeschooling, today was pretty basic, I actually let Te’ teach the children their math essentials and number recognition. He seems to make it more fun than I do so I may have to start paying him for his services and hire him on Tuesdays. I have also come to realize that my children absorb knowledge better in the evenings. So, I will now be teaching them in the evenings after they have played out all of their energy. This also works in my favor because I have decided to give social media a rest for awhile so I can focus on good old fashion foot work. Yep, I am getting out and hitting businesses face to face. I am a little nervous because while this is nothing new to me, I have a direct goal to meet by November so I have to be more firm and not so passive which is hard for me because I am a big ol’ softy. You can pull on my heart strings with a sneeze.

I think that about covers it for today.

-Rush
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