Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

The silent angel

Posted on by JustAskMaia

As much as my husband and I are a team there is still not much he knows about me on a day to day basis. I have no doubt that he married me because I am a phenomenal woman but if he knew I had secret missions and powers it would blow his mind.

It’s one thirty in the morning and I have been battling a headache all day. All I want to do is rest. Not just sleep but rest. Yesterday I gave him a detailed rundown of what I had to do but because he was tired from his workday he barely acknowledged. I don’t fault him for this because he does work very hard and has long hour days and he does try to help before passing out from exhaustion. I joked about taking on another husband to help carry his load around the house. He didn’t find amusement in that. He never does.

I didn’t get to go to an event I was invited to today because I wasn’t feeling my best and the house urgently needed cleaning. My oldest son came home before being stationed out for the next four years and he pulled and sorted through all of his things packing what he was keeping. I then had to clean up bins and piles of what-nots in order to see what was to be thrown away. In addition, someone gave my littles a ton of clothes that I had to sort through, wash and fold. Gabriel is struggling in reading so I spent some time with him on that. My girls are also under the weather so I had to tend to them. Maia is in the midst of being potty trained so that takes repetition. I have a client that I’m working on grants for so I was searching the resources for that. Plus, I am building a portfolio for another client in addition to revamping mine. My 17 year old needed a ride to and from work and my room has been neglected for weeks now.

While everyone is sound asleep I tidied up, took Maia temperature and changed her training pants to her pullout in case she has an accident. I rocked Kera to sleep and put them in their beds.

McRush is battling tinnitus so I nudged him awake to put oil in his ear with a cotton swab. I am still battling this headache trying to keep it at bay to be sure it doesn’t turn into a migraine.

My mission is simple, to keep this house a home. My super power is being able to always show up even if that means little rest. I do it with a happy heart knowing even if they don’t see me do it they know it got done.

I have had a lot going on with the shift in business and how I run the household, mainly the children being in public school instead of homeschool. It’s a crazy transition right now but I am sure once we get the hang of it things will run more smoothly.

I oftentimes wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I do the same things. I like to think that I would but right now, mama needs some rest.

To all of the moms, or silent angels out there. I’m rooting for you. Now get some rest. ❤️

Trouble on the blue app

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Whew. Who knew I could be so popular 😅

I recently ran an ad on Facebook and I had racists coming out of the woodwork for my neck. Don’t worry, I got receipts. One guy called me a diversity hire ” swooping in at a time when people don’t have any money”. WHO doesn’t have money? Listen, if you’re broke just say that. 😳 Another guy went on to talk about how trump was up in the polls. This concerns me how? We already knew his numbers would jump given his general target audience. 🤷🏾 It’s crazy. Then I have people jumping down my throat about my stance on the writers strike and I don’t know why because I support the strike. I just wish they would be able to read the fine print in their contracts so they can seek a better deal.

Either way, the talks, chatter, and disses only bring me more visibility and that is what made me keep my cool. Cause inside I wanted to say a few choice words but I wanted to remain professional because the success of my brand and my business is what I am after. Period.

Even before the shenanigans it has been a rollercoaster of a week. For those that don’t know, I registered my children for public school and for all but one of them, my senior, that have never been in that setting so there was plenty of confusion the first week but we made it through. Hopefully we start off on the good foot tomorrow and from there on.

I met with a radio exec who wants me to come on his show and talk about black businesses and their growth. I also did an interview for insider magazine so I’ll let you know when that drops. I signed a new client and also, I am back in the grant writing game for another client. So this week has been a whirlwind of emotions but I am so very grateful through it all.

I need to record a podcast tomorrow and write a blog for Rush Consulting Firm, which I must say is doing phenomenal. My advice for you this week is let the noise be loud but don’t let it get to you.

Here me out.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

It’s been about a month or so since I have blogged, and I’m just barely making it tonight. 🙃

I don’t know if it’s the excitement of all of these new ai options or the fact that it’s almost LEO season, but I am feeling rejuvenated. I didn’t get in any fights, I didn’t beat my kids, and I didn’t run away from home. Although I do threaten with it. (Judge your mama 👵) But for me, a win is a win because they are few and far between around here.

Nothing personal really happened, and I do truly try to keep this blog a little separate from business unless it’s relevant. But, I have so much going on with the firm, and I am so excited. I am putting out 3 membership sites over the course of the next couple of months. Plus, I am taking classes again, and I am trying to shape my own ai, which is hella exciting to me, seeing as I hate learning technology.

I tried to get with tiktok, but I just can’t invest time with another app. I did manage to get over 10k followers. Maybe when I get out of this creativity storm so I can calm down. I’ll set a strategy for tiktok because if we can be some type of affiliate in alignment with my brand, that would be great.

We found our house. It’s in another state, so I’m hoping it will still be available when we are ready to sell this one and be able to dedicate the time to get it ready.

I gave Reggie my Lexis, so for now, I’m stuck driving the bus (transit) or McRush’s manly truck. Sometimes I will drive his Lexis, but man, do I miss my baby. I wonder if Lincoln would be willing to sponsor me for that new navigator. 👀 I wonder who I have to talk to in order to make that happen. 🤔

I know I pulled myself up from my bootstraps from nothing but hustle to finally coming into my ease and flow stage, although I never pictured that stage breastfeeding and changing diapers. 🤣 But I am not too bougie to play that lotto! Have you guys seen the numbers? If I win, it’s going to be straight quick pick cause I be having ZERO strategy. But I only play like 1 to 2x a year, so I give myself a by.

If I win, I PROMISE I won’t tell ya 🤪.

Have you guys played with that new headshot generating ai? Remini, I believe it’s called. It was fun, but most of them look like a much younger version of myself or too cartoon. I’m going to post them on the bottom of my blogs until I run out, so don’t be commenting on how fake they look. I’m glad they look fake because they are. 🤣

Friiiiiiiiieeeeeends!

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all! Oh em gee! Its been so long. Why y’all let me go this long without talking to you?! 😜 I have so much to tell you! Like seriously.

Did I even tell you guys about Maia? 🤔

Shoot! Well, I am finally writing that book. Yes hunty! It is TIME. My business is booming, I’m traveling SOLO! Girl let me tell you, life is GOODT!

I just got back from a 4 day Vegas trip. 😍 I lost $325 though. Gambling is NOT for me but I had fun. I thought I would miss the children but I missed them less when I called McRush and they were yelling in the background 😂.

I took random naps. Had morning mimosas or shots ← Judge ya mama 🙄. I even snuck in a smoke 🤗 ← again…. ya mama.

I don’t have to tell you that this was a much needed trip. This is one of the reasons I am writing this book.

Self care is so important especially as a wife, mother and business owner. Free time in my house, especially with 10 children, is scarce around these parts.

I have a partnership with Dell, ADP, and was recently given the position as District Implementation Director with Black Wall Street. I have been recently published in a few magazines, guest host on a few podcasts and radio shows and I am so excited to share more in a couple of weeks.

For now I am just checking in and I Hope you are following me on social media for more. I really want you on this journey with me because I want you to live you best life too. You deserve it..

Dear covid…..

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Hey y’all. I hope everyone is safe out here in these covid streets.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Business shifts, financial shifts, and more importantly personal shifts.

After YEARS of working my business o am just now realizing that I need to take care of me too. I mean I bathe and stuff but its deeper than that right. I have decided to hire a cleaning crew to come to the house. And right now I am looking for a Day nanny.

I know people have been saying self care for years and things like “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. My cup has been empty so long that I have just been used to the drain. Being a mom is running a business and in many aspects so is marriage. Then to actually be running a business, being a mentor, and volunteering can definitely take its toll.

I incorporated baths into my regime. Yes, baths. I shower everyday, sometimes twice a day. But nothing relaxes you like locking your bathroom door and sitting in a hot tub… maybe even bubbles. I deserve bubbles right. 😉

But more importantly I am incorporating delegating because just because we can do it all doesn’t mean we should. There are things we need to do,, especially as moms, and Madam Maxine Waters said, reclaim our time.

My babies are healthy and my husband is happy so I think I do a pretty good job. But at the end of the day I am absolutely burned out.

I hired a coach to get my business life together because like I say all the time, if your coach doesn’t have a coach then they are a hypocrite. How can I, as a coach, tell you that you need a business coach but not have one myself. I have had several coaches over the years and its time I added me to the list of things to support. (My coach would agree) I have decided to take an hiatus from the fave of the business to work the back end and hire those who can help.

Covid has caused many of us to transition to virtual meetings and meet ups with our friends and family but what I take it as is we all need a moment to slow down.

I am grateful to be among the many untouched by this crazy thing and I am praying for all those who may not be able to say the same. We have to take control of the things in our life that beat us down like pushing too much or looking for perfection before pursuing our goals. Your happiness should be a goal.

Are you happy?

Is my living in vain?

Posted on by JustAskMaia

In the midst of this dark cloud lingering over my head, I am forced to work through tears shed.

No matter what I am doing, in the blink of an eye, I will find myself crying. I snickered to myself appreciating the fact that I do not wear make up. What a waste it would be right now.

Funny, no matter what we go through as parents we still must be sure our children are living their best life. For me that is forcing a smile with uncertainties lingering like a lone cloud on a sunny day.

Isn’t it ironic how we do so many good deeds and it feels, sometimes, as though they measure up to nothing? I remember when I was a young girl, my mom told be to be sure that my good far outweighed my bad. I literally live by that staple. Yet, I now find myself perplexed as to why.

Why then, do I still endure such unbelievable pain? Why is it life seems a constant test? When the heck is the exam so I can pass already!

I don’t know everything there is to know about life, but I do know this, its yours to live. Choose happiness and pass it on.

I’ll tell you what. When my daughter passed away I no longer took each moment I had with my children for granted. Not that I ever did but every breath seems even more previous to me. That is part of my reason for homeschooling. I always say that God has given me a charge (or 10) and I take that charge very seriously. These are little people who will soon try to find their own place in the world. It is my job to assist them as much, and as early, as possible.

Does my heart hurt every morning? Absolutely.

Do I have butterflies since this incident. Always.

But it will not stop my unwavering love and care. I push through, as we all do.

Am I always going to get it right? Nope.

Is my living in vain. Of course not.

How to homeschool without going crazy 😲

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. 🤗

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget 🙂)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

To entrepreneur or not…

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have known my entire life that I never wanted to work for someone besides myself. I also knew I was destined for, well, more. I couldn’t quite put my finger on that ‘more’ but I knew that I would know it when I seen it. At fifteen, I worked at Burger King and McDonald’s and Taco Bell. When I was seventeen I got a night job in the mail room at Corestates bank (which became First Union which became Wachovia which became Wells Fargo). I would get off at 7 am and rush down Center City to my second job, United way, and work from eight until two and then I would rush down to my first class, English, at Peirce College. My whole life has been about the hustle and bustle, which I never really minded being a city girl and all but there was nothing to show for my hard work, dedication, and drive except a very exhausted me.

In 2009 after the passing away of my daughter, Madison, I decided I needed to live! I started my company Rush Consulting Firm from literally nothing and I just kept pushing. Every time I wanted to quit I thought about the times I never quit on my bosses out of a sense of obligation. Every time I felt like I just couldn’t do it, I reminded myself of all the late nights and early mornings I pushed for companies who never even noticed my hard work. And every time I felt like a failure, I remember the courage it took to build what I have built.

I want to say that entrepreneurship is not for everyone, but I know that is not true. Even if you decide not to leave your full time job, I implore you to never give up on your dreams. Just a few minutes a day, a couple hours a week, a few weeks out the year will have you feeling more dedicated and refreshed to do more, be more, even in your everyday life. There is something amazing about giving a little bit of you to yourself that makes it all worthwhile, and if you can inspire someone along the way, even better.

I know what some of you may be thinking; Time. Let me tell you a little something about time. Time is your most valuable asset. Time is something you can choose to be generous with or selfish with. Time is something that is yours to do with as you please. Time is one of those things that you can never get back. So you can spend your life planning it or you can spend your life living it, but its your time to do with as you wish.

As a wife, mother, and serial entrepreneur, I can say that sometimes things will get hectic but for me, I choose not to make a fuss over time as long as I spend it the way I desire to. I have 9 children and I home school them all. That is in addition to running a seasonal toddler boutique where the items are made by hand, by me; I also run a successful Consulting Firm where I do everything from coaching to speaking, resumes to job placement, and, our specialty, helping people start the business they always wanted to. In addition, I host Meet and greets called Heels&Hustle where we bring together women who do, did, and want to start their business for the purpose of networking, collaborating, and mentoring. Trust me when I say that I know all about time management and that is why I believe, no, I KNOW you can do it too.

Entrepreneurship IS for everyone. Whether its full time, part time, seasonal, or weekends only, be sure to give it a go. There are people around you that believe in you and your vision and they are just waiting for the opportunity to support you. You can do it.

-Rush
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