SIDS awareness: http://youtu.be/LlFyo-2cdxc
Mind. Body. Spirit.
I decided to start eating better and it all went downhill from there. Well not for me but for some people who know me.
Hello. My name is Maisha Rush and I am a recovering Christian.
I would oftentimes look in the mirror and didn’t really care for what looked back. I was told I was pretty so I went with it and kept going. My body, ugh, I will not even start on my harsh opinions of what I thought my body should look like. Anyhow, that’s a story for another day.
Even being branded with the medical standard of being overweight, I would start a new fad diet and fall off. sometimes, I would make a conscience decision to just eat correctly and exercise.. That wouldn’t last long either with babies running around and trying to maintain home and my business so, alas, I would find myself working late into the midnight hours snacking on a sandwich after not eating one single thing all day. And in case you did not know, that is a no-no.
So I finally got up the nerve to do it, after much research and questioning, I went Vegan. But not only Vegan; Alkaline Vegan. Though very strict indeed, I will not turn back. I have found it very comforting and exhilarating to know that I am finally doing something beneficial for myself that doesn’t concern anyone else. Its for me. That may not seem like a big issue to some of you but for me, being a mom of nine, running a business, and being a wife, along wirh homeschooling, finding something just for you is a feat that is damn near impossible. What a great accomplishment. I even brought the family along with adjustments. They eat what I eat as a side (so I am not cooking two meals), and every other day they have to eat entirely vegan for dinner. Luckily, they dodn’t really care as long as I am cooking. I found an awesome community on FaceBook called Alkaline Vegan Girls for support and Ty’s Conscious Kitchen on YouTube for recipes. It is going very well.
Now, The problem.
I have found that when you are nourishing your body with, shall I say, Earth foods, there is a sense of connection or awakening that is unexpectedly involved. I didn’t really notice it off hand but it almost seems as though By eating the way God intended, I was becoming closer to him. Now I have been a very devout Christian for all of my life and I already considered myself to have a very close and personal relationship with The God of my understanding but something shifted. In addition to knowing Him, I started to feel connected to him so naturally I wanted to read and fast and pray more. Well that started not to be enough and I found myself STUDYING the Word more and meditating. I began to sit under the moon at night and the sun in the daytime. For anyone who knows me I do not like direct sun, never have. But this, this was different.
As I read the bible, the same one I have studied and taught from for years, quoting scriptures and ministering to people, suddenly, it wasn’t quite right. The stories left many holes and inconsistencies. The church I attended, I started to see so many flaws that I blindly ignored. I was afraid. I was very afraid. What did this mean? Was the devil taking over? Was I becoming like Judas? I cried and I prayed and then I realized, why not ask God. Fear pumped over me, ‘Ask God?’ Are you crazy? You do not question God. He is the creator of all! But then as I meditated and fasted I began to wonder, ‘why not ask God’? It is Him I seek. It is Him I wish to know more about so why NOT ask him. Such a stupid thing to teach people not to question God. And I fell for it all my life, hook, line, and sinker. The Bible says to Seek Him, Draw near to him, Be ONE with Him, and to seek wisdom and knowledge but how can I do any of these things if I do not have a relationship with Him. How can I do these things if I do not understand? What is the best way to understand Him and have a relationship with Him; its to talk to Him, have a conversation with Him. How can I possibly have a conversation with Him if I can never ask Him a question? He is my Father, I ask my natural father questions all the time, that is how I gain knowledge and wisdom coupled together to get understanding.
No preacher can tell me my path, my path is my own. The preacher can give me scripture that has helped him in his journey, but his journey is not mine. The bible says to study and show thyself approved but many of us go to church and listen to the sermon and go home. What is that? That is not pleasing to God. It is not edifying to anyone but the building.
I recently posted some questions on Facebook and oh boy. I was called everything from a false prophet to the Anti Christ because I chose to challenge what is truth. My questions were not off the wall, but everyday questions that we not only should ask but that we have all been thinking however have been condemned to thinking that interpreting the word for ourselves is in itself a sin. People said I was angry but I was happy the entire time I was having dialogue. I was happy to finally get it off of my chest. I finally felt free from bondage and closer to my God of understanding. He wants you to follow your path because its yours. No one can walk it but you and only you will be held accountable
Now I feel free to sit and take in the glory of the day. I eat what is edifying to my natural body that was placed on this earth for me to do and because of this very small, what I consider virtuous change, I am doing exactly what I should be doing for myself, seeking the truth.
While some have unfriended me and many may never speak to me again, I am okay with that. I have found what has always said to exist yet have not ever found; Heaven on earth.
Namaste Kings and Queens.
-Rush
Good juju or nah
Be bold? Or be mean?
I have the hardest time speaking my true feelings to people because I care about their feelings. Not an attribute found in many people these days it seems. We have as a generation lost our compassion and kindness. Doesn’t anyone one care anymore? It seems everyone is out for themselves, justifying their actions based on their feelings in the heat of the moment or shall I say the height of their emotions.
Should you speak in the moment or wait for the right moment? When is the right moment? I believe that when enraged you should wait and calm down. In waiting you will find yourself rationalizing objectively. Seeing all angles of the situation allowing you to not only make a proper judgement but lowering your blood pressure as well.
Is it being mean when you say what’s on your mind? I believe yes. I have a sister who tells it as she sees it and I must admit that there is a certain sense of admiration I have for her because it weeds out the negativity and nonsense in life however it also keeps me a bit distanced when I need someone to talk to but then is it the fear of hearing the truth? I am by far the most sensitive person I know easily crying without a moments notice. So is it me or her or a combination of both. I do oftentimes wish I were more outspoken. It sometimes feels like I am being phony or pretentious because even though I may not like you I will still speak and I will even smile and encourage you without a second thought.
Usually it’s not even worth the effort to exchange dirty looks, vibes, or energy it will just drain you and you will leave frustrated and thinking of a ton of clever things you should have said anyway.
I believe that you get back what you put out in this world and I only want good vibes, happiness, and prosperity. If I have to be nice and mindful of my words then I’ll take that.
-Rush
When your faith is tested.
After almost 7 years of my daughter passing, the anger is finally coming to a head. I never truly mourned her. I was so far away when I got the call that all I could think about was getting to her. The entire flight across the country all I could think was how horrible of a joke this was. I couldn’t accept it. I just couldn’t. When my plane landed I had to wait over an hour for my ride and that allowed my anger to fester which overshadowed my pain.
Even once I got into the city I couldn’t find her body. I was given the run around until I found her but when I did, I was told that I couldn’t see her and I had to come back tomorrow. Tomorrow? More anger.
I couldnt sleep just hoping it was still all a bad dream, I mean, after all, I still have not seen her.
The next day I go to where she is and they tell me she is still not ready to be seen. When I asked was she really back there, the lady replied “yes, she is in the cooler”. What an insensitive thing to say. Now I am not only angry, but I am also numb. What did I do to deserve this? #SorryGod
I sat for hours waiting. When they finally allowed me to see her they said I had to view her through a glass. I sighed a heavy sigh only a parent knows and said okay. They asked was I sure, I don’t remember what I said but they pulled the curtain back. I still did not believe them. Even seeing her with my own eyes wrapped in a blanket and tubes still hanging out of her nose. She looked as if she were asleep except she wasn’t. My heart told me she wasn’t. But I still wanted to touch her, to hold her. Reluctantly, the coroner allowed me to come back to get a closer look. He said I still couldn’t touch her but I stole a kiss on her forehead. She was still soft and a little warm unless that was just my wishful thinking.
Then the business began, not many of us prepare to lose a child at such a young age so savings and insurance for this were non existent. I began to make calls no mother should have to make; begging people and panhandling to raise her burial funds. All of this and still no cause of death. Every emotion but mourning.
I was taught not to question God so I didn’t. I still don’t. However, where I am in life I find myself asking “why not”. If I want to know something I ask. Why can’t I ask God why? I have rationalized the why so much and come to a logical explanation that I don’t believe that His answer would mean much to me anymore. I’m just being honest. I was angry in the place of my mourning and now I am unable to mourn because I am still angry. The experience taught me to question the why in everything. Everything. Though I know that every cause has an affect which is how the ripples in life roll, but there is still my why. I have given my all to everyone I know and met and I ultimately seem to find myself betrayed and hurt.
Madison died January 10, 2009 cause of death is conflicted. The coroner says he would rule it a case of SIDS ( Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) but since the police report stated that there were stuffed animals in the crib he must diagnose positional asphyxiation which means she suffocated in the position she lay, which was face down. As if her passing wasn’t enough trauma.
-Rush
Are we recounting votes AGAIN?
Hilary Clinton lost. She got the majority of America’s vote, although not really because over 93 million people did not vote and that’s just the ones that were registered. So America is throwing a tantrum and finger pointing like a bunch of toddlers. I am definitely not a supporter of hers so I may be a little biased. She has to many hidden secrets like the fact that her husband as well as herself have close ties to pedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein, or her Klu Klux Klan friends, that is what this email controversy is all about. But even still I couldn’t care less. I mean really, tell me the last time an American President directly affected your life? They are just a puppet to sit and do what they are told. Sure, they will have great ideas, just like the rest of us, but implementing them will be close to impossible.
This is not the first time and will not be the last time that we had a president elected that we do not want, yet we still pull the same thing. We march and we protest and in the end very little changes. The Government was not created for us, especially the black us, but in this point all of us in general. We all know that Americans thrive off titles, it has even trickled down to the church which is supposed to be separate from state (yeah right). Everybody wants to feel like somebody and some of those somebodies want to tell others what to do –> enter the government.
The problem is not the president, or the president elect. The problem is the people, WE the people who have failed one another time and time again in the terms of unity and self governing. We have lost our morals and our standards and most importantly we have lost our common sense. We continue to attempt to hold one another to a standard that we fail to hold ourselves to. We have found more pleasure in watching someone else and their failure instead of being accountable for our own. We would rather be like others that we see on television or even in real life than to simple be ourselves. We are no longer happy with who we are until we are like someone else.
People watch reality television and stay glued to social media to see what someone else is doing with their life, meanwhile, ours is passing us by. We would much rather go by what someone told us instead of researching it ourselves. Learning is becoming obsolete. We push college yet will only hire people with experience. We don’t trust one another so we are constantly moving along in life with a hidden agenda. We don’t truly care about one another’s happiness and well-being, unless it directly affects us of course.
School loans are ridiculously impossible to pay back. Health insurance is almost impossible to maintain. We have people who have fought for our country living in the streets while we selfishly walk pass them without a second thought. We have homeless babies because their mom and dad cannot find a job. We have hungry children who go all summer without a decent meal while school is out because the job mom and dad do have is just barely making the bills. We have people killing one another over minor tiffs because that is how their environment has taught them to react due to poor schools, and irritated parents (you know that whole horrible/lack of job issue). Governments not willing to put money into urban areas for recreational centers, job assistance, small businesses, etc. yet steadily putting up sidewalks in deserted areas, two way street lights on one way streets, etc. in short, corrupt politicians who are allowed to hold office until death pulls them away.
We would much rather fund wars and pretend to have a war on drugs although the drugs are not only brought onto American soil by the government but also heavily guarded in places like the Mideast for private profit.
No, we would much rather protest having a woman in office that has no problem aborting babies up to their due date or defending child rapists while having pizza parties with known pedophiles and having lunch with KKK members. Perhaps we would be better off with a woman who is as emotional an indecisive as a young teenager who knows everything about life in their own little mind. Does she know the ins and outs of the government, absolutely. Is she qualified? About as much as any other lying politician, but is that what we want?
I am convinced we do not know what we want. I know some will take this to think I voted for Trump. Who did I vote for? Wouldn’t you like to know. It doesn’t matter anyhow. I have been stating for the longest that the electoral votes choose our presidency. That is why it is important to vote your local elections because the elects are supposed to vote according to our popular vote but if you don’t vote them in then, well, you get the point.
So by all means, keep protesting. You see how far its gotten us, this time I mean us a in black people.
-Rush
Nosey black people
So I come outside to find a portion of peace with Roger (pictured below) and unbeknownst to me there are three police cars and a white car which looks like a Chevy Malibu (you can thank McRush for my knowledge of cars). Two police officers are searching the Malibu and one officer is keeping them, occupied, for lack of a better word.
There is a woman standing in her yard where the people were pulled over on her phone with an attitude, loud. Catercorner to her is a large group of people standing outside just looking. Now, I know I am going to catch plenty of backlash for this but why are you watching? You have nothing better to do? My people! Does watching the incident unfold make you feel better about your life? Does it give you something positive to converse about?
I am sure many of you, both black and white, will respond stating something along the lines of; ‘With the string of murders of our black people, we should be watching to be sure nothing happens to them.’ To that I respond, Yeah right. First of all our community has been nosing in other peoples businesses well before that with or without police presence. Second of all what exactly would you do if something were to happen besides grab your phone and record?
McRush hates when I categorize us in a negative manner because really, lets face it, all races have their nosey tendencies. But, I can only speak for mine because I am black, not too black according to a few of my fellow peers, but just black enough to reap some benefits.
So here I sit my beneficial behind in the grass observing the observers and blogging about it. I guess that makes me nosey too. Hmmm.
-Rush
Secrets of a mother to 9
I have no idea what to blog but I felt compelled to get on anyway. Perhaps it is my slight guilt of not being able to keep in contact via blog. Or maybe it is the fact that I am bored out of my mind.
I do have a confession though. Although I am an established business owner and serial entrepreneur, I have never want to be either. What I have always wanted was to help people and to be rich. I just found a way to incorporate my wants with people’s needs. I REALLY want to be rich though. Just kidding. I am rich. No but for real, I love helping people reveal to themselves, maybe even for the first time they deepest most hidden goals. The smiles on their faces when this comes to fruition is priceless. I love it. I love seeing people smile and be happy. Happiness drowns out so much pain and sorrow its like a drug, but legal, I don’t know how long it will be legal but its legal none-the-less.
What I have always wanted to do is start a shelter. Not just any type of shelter but a shelter with long term assistance both in and out. I never understood the concept of having to check out at the crack of dawn at a shelter. I mean it is very commendable that you give so many broken and lost individuals a place to lay their heads but then what? It would seem to me that you are simply keeping your business funded. You get funding by need. Homeless people need somewhere to rest at night. The end. But what are you doing to assist them with getting back on their feet? Getting a job? Going back to school even? I suppose with that type of assistance you wouldn’t have many people needing you after too long, so you simply give them a cot, a sheet, and a pillow. I am in no way attempting to knock the efforts of these places, I am simply saying, people need more help.
I speak from experience. I have been there, hell, I’m just about there right now with my family while we await the closing of our home. But, I know my hearts desires will be met soon and you can volunteer if your heart is in the right place.
That’s all.
-Rush
The recipe to a happy home.
One of the main questions I am asked is how we are able to maintain life with nine children. My answers varied depending upon ‘why’ they are asking because you can always gauge their intent by their demeanor. It also varies by location since some people turn their noses up at us while some applaud the fact that we “do as the Word says” by being fruitful and multiplying. Most people get a chuckle out of it while we find it pretty annoying because that is not what our intent ever was, not to mention I hate when people quote bible scriptures like they are some type of bible scholar but instead only referencing what they heard opposed to what they know, but don’t get me started on that because that is a blog all in itself.
I prefer, instead, to live my life as it will be. I have tried almost every form of birth control there is. I have tried every form of birth control I am comfortable with. I am not big on altering the path the God of my understanding has laid out for me, whether it is medication or mechanisms. I love my children. Did I plan on having a large family? No, I hardly even plan what’s for dinner. Do I regret having a big family? Regret is such a harsh word, I have my days where I just want to go far away for a breather, if you consider that regret, then so be it. I would not change it for all of the money in the world, all the tea in China, or all the shoes a girls heart can desire (and you know how much I love my shoes). Its not for everyone but apparently it is for me.
I home school while running a few businesses and do my best to be a dutiful wife ( que in the feminists). It is a task being everywhere and everything at every time but with a little bit of coffee, you can conquer the world, or at least feel like you can, one bit at a time.
The truth is, I don’t have all of the answers, but I will tell you what I know;
1. I love to live life with a little ruffling of the feathers, if you are unable to adapt to change in the blink of an eye, you probably should stop where you are with the amount of children you have right now.
2. I never wake up knowing the answers to every problem that comes up, It may seem like i am super woman to my children and my husband but that’s just so they can buy me flowers and chocolate and a nice pair of shoes every now and again.
3. Even though I pretend not to, I do get exhausted and drained most days, but I know that I can push myself just a little bit farther everyday, not too much, just enough to know that I have exercised my patience, strength, knowledge, wisdom, intuitiveness, as well as my mind and body to know that I know a little bit more than I did on yesterday.
4. While I hate complacency, I am well versed on showing my gratitude for where I am now in order to receive increase according to my requests made known to my creator.
5. Someone is always going to judge you regardless of what you do, so do what you know to do and do what you feel is right. If it makes you happy then go for it. If it (or they) make you cry, leave it alone. Life is about being happy. There is no reason not to be. Sure, mourn, cry, be hurt, but get up and be grateful for your scars because in the end, you will be a beautiful tiger!
I don’t have the recipe to a happy home, I just know the recipe for mine and if that helps you along the way then I am doing my job right. If it doesn’t and you just like the laughs we share then laugh on and enjoy. If it doesn’t have any bearing on you whatsoever, then I encourage you to connect with someone(s) who will assist in adding some type of value to your life.
C’mon, be happy! What have you got to lose?! Miracles and Blessings to you and yours.
-Rush
I have disappeared but its not my fault.
Hello my loves. I have been on a sabbatical but it was not by choice. If you follow me on social media, you know we have recently purchased a home. Well, we were set to close today, November 23, however it fell through. That’s the bad news. The good news is we have found a new home and are now set to close somewhere around the 6th of December. Now, while that may sound like great news and I thank you in advance for your congratulations, I must tell you this is some wild roller coaster ride and I do not like roller coaster rides, figuratively or literally.
Let me first start off by affirming my stubborn nomad spirit. At the young age of 37 years old, I have lived in at least 100 places, had hundreds of jobs, and never had any intent, in life, of settling in one place (insert stable loving McRush). I never wanted to buy a home but after having the benefits pointed out to me by my husband and best friend as well as my very selfish thought process on the matter, I decided to take the leap. After all, I can just sell it later and get us a nice RV and continue to travel, maybe this time outside of America.
Today is November 23. We did not close. I am upset about that, not because we did not get that particular house but because our sorry landlord did not extend the courtesy of allowing us the ability of being able to stay in our home so that we do not end up in an in-between status. Guess where we are? Yup, you guessed it. In between homes.
Let me tell you the back story. You all know we were once homeless after the housing market/job crash. We did not whine or beg and plea for handouts (even though we had once applied for assistance for food but were denied because we did not have an address. Weird, seeing as we were homeless). But instead worked hard and pushed through and are now able to tell our story. Anyhow. We stumbled across a run down apartment complex in an even more run down neighborhood and were blessed to be able to not only put down a small deposit but were approved to move in immediately. We stayed there one year and moved to another place we had also stumbled upon. The place was initially being managed by one property management company but upon signing our next lease we were advised that a company called Johnson Wilson Real Estate would be taking over as the new property management company. We didn’t care, we paid our rent on time and minded our business, or businesses, haha, get it…? Anywho. One day the new property manager of JWR came to check out the property, which was completely understandable because they should want to check out their newly acquired properties. We joked and handled our business then were done. Well one day this new Manager decided to introduce herself, her name was Mary. I didn’t like her and she didn’t like me, but again, I didn’t care, we paid our rent on time and minded our business. When we decided to buy a home we let them know and we started working on financing and such with the RE part of the company. During this time our lease was nearing an end so we, JWR (now Heritage Property) and our family, decided that it would be best if we went month to month so we wouldn’t have to break a lease etc.; This was in July of this year. Well, come October they sent us a letter stating we must sign a lease by October 20. I kept meaning to call and get it sorted out/verified but I kept getting wrapped up in other things. On the 20th of October, Mary calls me and informs me that if we do not sign a lease for either 6 months or one year, they will start the eviction process. I, of course, remind her that we have a letter from their office stating we will go month to month. She says there is nothing she can do about that. I inform her that since we are under contract on a home we cannot sign a lease. She is adamant and so am I. she states we need to put in our thirty day notice or risk facing an eviction on our record which of course would hinder our home buying process. Reluctantly and angrily, I write the letter which puts us out of our home on November 19. That wasn’t so horrible considering, remind you, that we were set to close on November 23. A few days in a hotel, right? Wrong. Fast forward to today where we are now forced to shell out monies that is needed for our down payment to get hotels every night! Why every night you ask? Well, that’s a good question. To answer your question, it is the week of thanksgiving so rooms that are weekly are booked until after the holiday which means we can spend anywhere from 90 to 120 dollars a night.
I tell you, people will attempt to screw you over with no reason or just cause, if ever there were a good reason to see someone down. So I am sitting in a friends bathroom blogging on word because the wifi is not connected to my laptop. #LeStruggle
We all know that the RushBunch is strong so no worries. Now, if this Mortgage company will just push on so we can get in our house and I can lay down in my home, I will be a very happy Rush.
-Rush
Slacking
I really am trying to stay on top of blogging and keeping you all up to date on the happenings of the RushBunch but you know me, I just get so slack when it comes to blogging or sleeping, I oftentimes choose sleep. As crazy and chaotic as that sounds, I sometimes will grab a nap instead of my laptop.
As I am typing this I am literally drained and all I want to do is go to sleep however today is a birthday and the house is all the way live, not that its any different from any other day But they are wired on mini cupcakes and ice cream.
I believe I am truly out to sabotage myself. Every since I have started homeschooling and running my business from home, my home simply has no structure. I am hoping that this move will assist me in re implementing things like early bed times, hair days, general house cleaning day, and the like instead of me deciding on a whim what I am going to do that day.
I remember the days when I got up at 5:15 to prepare for my daily prayer/motivational call at 5:30 and my days flowed so smoothly because the night before I had sat down to schedule out the entire day all the way down to the littles bedtime at 7:30. Oh how I miss those days. Its funny when you break a cycle its hard to get it going again. I am glad to have known such structure and have something to work towards because if not, I would not know life could be more relaxed and thus not lose my mind!
Anyhow enough rambling, although that is pretty much what my blogs are…
Today was supposed to be a lounge around day but yes, we forgot we were going to do something for the birthday girl. The good news is our children are very easy to please so when we asked her what she wanted to do, she said have a pizza party and watch a movie. When asked what she wanted for her birthday, she replied, “flowers”. DONE! the downside is whenever we leave the house we are oftentimes gone for hours because we remember something else that needed to be done. Needless to say we didn’t get home until after 7:45 so the whole 8 o’clock bedtime is surely out the window. I have learned to be okay with that.
it is 10:01pm and we have just started the go-to-bed process with the littles so we are looking at a 12:30 bedtime… sigh.
One day I will get to bed by 10 pm. Today is not that day…tomorrow isn’t looking to good either.
-Rush
JustAskMaia 