Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Did you miss me? Yes, you did. Stop lying.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have been on a wave of growth doing exactly what I teach my clients to do, and that’s tap into your capabilities. We are so used to running off of our abilities because it’s safe, it’s what we know, but there’s no growth there. Sure, you may get a promotion or recognition, but you maintain this feeling of “coasting ” through life, never experiencing what the world has to offer you.

So aside from working with a city, I know, MAJOR , right! I have also been aiming to sink my business claws onto a new venture. That is so exciting to me because I literally love it yet never considered venturing into this business sector. I’m in the process of awwing him into why I am the best person for the job. PLUS, as you know, I have been working on my book release (no date yet) called Children Ruin Everything, and I got my first review! It’s a good review, too!

Hopefully, with so much restructuring and growth happening, I will still be able to push and get this book out soon.

I just recently came back from poaching in San Diego with the plans of expanding our office there. Now, with this new city as a client, I may need to open an office there as well. I am traveling north next weekend (location not disclosed but I’ll tell you why later) to see what I can get into business wise there. 😉

The children have settled into being in school but I’m pretty sure this will be their first and last year in the public school system although them going to school has been serving its purpose of giving me a little more flex time to do business in the blink of an eye. Next year I am going to hire full time teachers to come in and teach so I know they are staying on track without losing my own momentum.

Anyway. Do you guys want to see the review? Of course you do.

“Kids Ruin Everything is a heartwarming and candid memoir written by Maisha Rush, a wife and homeschooling mother of twelve children. The book highlights how children have a tendency to ruin all the plans you had for life in a positive way, even when you can’t see it as you go through the experience. Maisha shares her personal experiences as a mother, from the challenges she faced in raising a large family to the joys and triumphs that come with it.

Through witty anecdotes and relatable stories, Maisha offers an inviting and lighthearted look into the ups and downs of parenthood. By sharing her own experiences, Maisha offers readers the encouragement and reassurance that they need to navigate the exciting yet often challenging world of parenting.

As Maisha mentions in the book, it’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they’re giving more than they ever expected yet receiving more than they ever thought possible. Through addressing the difficulties that come with parenthood, she shares the joys and happiness that come with it, revealing how children have a beautiful way of making everything better.

As the title suggests, Kids Ruin Everything is not a book that sugarcoats the realities of being a parent. Maisha doesn’t hide the fact that raising a family can be challenging. From sleepless nights and temper tantrums to constant messes and unexpected surprises, the book offers a refreshing and honest take on the ups and downs of raising children.

Yet, despite the challenges that come with raising children, Maisha shows how it all works out for the best. She writes about the love and support she received from her children, as well as the great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from being a full-time parent. Maisha reminds readers that children are often the biggest blessings in life, as they bring joy, vitality, and love to everything they touch.

Kids Ruin Everything is an uplifting and honest memoir that offers a refreshing and relatable perspective on parenting. Maisha’s lighthearted anecdotes and relatable stories make for an entertaining read, while the underlying message of hope and encouragement will resonate with parents everywhere. Parents will be inspired and motivated to persevere through the challenges of raising children, knowing that the rewards of parenthood are immeasurable, life-changing, and worth it all. I LOVE the way Maisha captivates the audience through her honesty and relatability. Even though I do not have 12 children, she makes me feel like she shares in my struggles and I in hers. This book has made me re-think a lot of what I do and how I approach raising my own family while reminding me not to forget about myself and my goals. It is absolutely possible to have ‘all the things I want the way I want them, now’. “

🤗 come through, ME!!!!! 👏🏾

Oh!!! Did I mention that I was asked to speak at the College of Charleston through their Upward Bound program? My topic is H.U.G.E. Communication focuses on how to maintain good communication with your college bound child.

🎶 look at me know🎶

Who knew this would be my life as I started this company from a helpless place and now I get to share and enjoy the journey with so many others.

Thank you for ALL of your support whether it’s reading my blogs, watching my youtubes/tiktoks/television interviews or gassing me up along the way all the way to booking and hiring me as you business consultant or coach. THANK YOU.

I tried to be lazy y’all.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Listen. I love a shortcut just as much as the next person, but authenticity is so important to me, so some shortcuts are just not worth taking.

I have been having an amazing past couple of weeks, and that is why I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. If I’m being honest (always), I could have blogged, but I didn’t make it a priority like I should have.

If you’re new here, HI! 👋🏽 Like 👍🏽 comment 🗣 share 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 subscribe 📍

I have been aiming to blog every Sunday, and I get really good about it until I don’t, then it’s hit or miss for a few weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️. Well, today, I was like, let me throw something I’m ai and blog that. Simple, painless, and I can go to bed. Chiiiiile 🙄. This is exactly why I teach my clients that ai will not replace them, but it CAN enhance them. This is what I asked ai to blog about..

“Blog what it’s like to have a successful consulting business, married, and having 12 children as a black woman living in South carolina. ” This is what it gave me.

Having a successful consulting business, being married, and having 12 children is not an easy feat for anyone. However, doing all of this as a black woman living in South Carolina comes with its own unique set of challenges.

Firstly, as a black woman entrepreneur, it can be difficult to gain the same level of respect that male or white entrepreneurs receive in the business world. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to build a successful consulting business, but it can be done with perseverance and determination.

When it comes to being a mother to 12 children, it takes a lot of organization and time-management skills to balance work and family life. It’s important to have a supportive spouse and community to help with childcare and household tasks. Being a working mother can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding to set an example for your children and show them the value of hard work and determination.

Living in South Carolina as a black woman can also come with its own challenges, as the state has a complicated history with race relations. It’s important to find a supportive community and surround yourself with like-minded people who will lift you up and support your success.

Despite the challenges that come with building a successful consulting business, raising a large family, and being a black woman living in South Carolina, it is still possible to achieve your goals. With hard work, dedication, and a strong support system, anything is possible.

🙄. Just 🙄. Cause 🤔. NO 😔. This sounds nothing like me and has no depth, not connection, no encouragement, just words. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good content but not personal.

It is very important to me that I resonate with my people. It’s hard sometimes being all the things to all the people so I try to share my journey as openly and honestly as possible in hopes to encourage and remind people that we all have our hiccups but keep pressing AND take rest. You can do both without choosing.

What you CAN’T do is try to be lazy and have someone or something do it for you because you don’t want to.

I love you like cousins. ❤️

How to homeschool without going crazy 😲

Posted on by JustAskMaia

Today started out a little to early for me. My oldest had to be to work at 7 and while some may think 7 a.m. is not early, first of all, YES IT IS! But more importantly, we are no small family so just dropping him off at work calls for me to not only rise earlier to get the RushBunch together but STAY up. In this house, once I get them up, there is no laying back down.

Getting them up means extra time needed to wash faces, brush teeth, wash, make beds, get dressed and grab a snack on the way out the door. Yes, just to drop #1 off. These tasks usually take me about an hour and that’s if I don’t do the girls’ hair.

I was literally dragging and absolutely moody. In case some of you have forgotten, I am six months pregnant. And while McRush usually helps with the ease of getting out the house, he had long been gone for work.

There are several ways I lift the weight of homeschooling without hassle. Today I am going to share with you one of them. But first, let me just state that every morning they have to write the creed and study their spelling words. That takes no effort from me at all. The purpose in the creed writing is to work on their handwriting, in the event that you were wondering. While they do this, I am making breakfast.

Packet Privilege.

This is something that is an absolute life saver to me. Usually, prior to the start of the year, I print out grade appropriate worksheets for each child. In my case its head start to 12th grade. I make packet that contains anywhere from 5-10 worksheets. I do at least 20 per person, so make sure you have paper for your printer. (In the event you do not have a print, I will get to that.) I put these packets away! Packet Privileges can be earned or used as a “substitute teacher” for the day. 🤗

For days like today when I just did not feel like adulting, it was a substitute. I hand out the packets and let them work at their pace. Here is the thing though, the packet must be more like review work because, as with a substitute teacher, you are not available to “teach” so should not introduce new works you may have to explain. It should also contain learning games like word search puzzles or sodoku. With that being said, that is why I say packets can be “earned”. It can count as a free day to the children. We work on a bonus system. Following the rules of both school and home and doing at least one thing ‘above and beyond’, you can earn a packet privilege for a day.

This is one of the many ways I keep my sanity on school days when I want to call out and binge watch Netflix or even work on my business.

For those of you who do not have a printer, for the younger, elementary school children, you can find workbooks at Dollar Tree for them. Tear out all of the pages, shuffle them and staple. Voila! Packets. For parents with older children, you may have to spend more than $1 but go to Wal-Mart or Target and get the more advanced workbooks (in the books section) and do the same thing. (You can also find these in book stores like Barnes and Noble but you WILL spend at least $20 per book and you know I like my budget 🙂)

I hope this was helpful and hit the follow button for more homeschooling tips.

iRush.

To entrepreneur or not…

Posted on by JustAskMaia

I have known my entire life that I never wanted to work for someone besides myself. I also knew I was destined for, well, more. I couldn’t quite put my finger on that ‘more’ but I knew that I would know it when I seen it. At fifteen, I worked at Burger King and McDonald’s and Taco Bell. When I was seventeen I got a night job in the mail room at Corestates bank (which became First Union which became Wachovia which became Wells Fargo). I would get off at 7 am and rush down Center City to my second job, United way, and work from eight until two and then I would rush down to my first class, English, at Peirce College. My whole life has been about the hustle and bustle, which I never really minded being a city girl and all but there was nothing to show for my hard work, dedication, and drive except a very exhausted me.

In 2009 after the passing away of my daughter, Madison, I decided I needed to live! I started my company Rush Consulting Firm from literally nothing and I just kept pushing. Every time I wanted to quit I thought about the times I never quit on my bosses out of a sense of obligation. Every time I felt like I just couldn’t do it, I reminded myself of all the late nights and early mornings I pushed for companies who never even noticed my hard work. And every time I felt like a failure, I remember the courage it took to build what I have built.

I want to say that entrepreneurship is not for everyone, but I know that is not true. Even if you decide not to leave your full time job, I implore you to never give up on your dreams. Just a few minutes a day, a couple hours a week, a few weeks out the year will have you feeling more dedicated and refreshed to do more, be more, even in your everyday life. There is something amazing about giving a little bit of you to yourself that makes it all worthwhile, and if you can inspire someone along the way, even better.

I know what some of you may be thinking; Time. Let me tell you a little something about time. Time is your most valuable asset. Time is something you can choose to be generous with or selfish with. Time is something that is yours to do with as you please. Time is one of those things that you can never get back. So you can spend your life planning it or you can spend your life living it, but its your time to do with as you wish.

As a wife, mother, and serial entrepreneur, I can say that sometimes things will get hectic but for me, I choose not to make a fuss over time as long as I spend it the way I desire to. I have 9 children and I home school them all. That is in addition to running a seasonal toddler boutique where the items are made by hand, by me; I also run a successful Consulting Firm where I do everything from coaching to speaking, resumes to job placement, and, our specialty, helping people start the business they always wanted to. In addition, I host Meet and greets called Heels&Hustle where we bring together women who do, did, and want to start their business for the purpose of networking, collaborating, and mentoring. Trust me when I say that I know all about time management and that is why I believe, no, I KNOW you can do it too.

Entrepreneurship IS for everyone. Whether its full time, part time, seasonal, or weekends only, be sure to give it a go. There are people around you that believe in you and your vision and they are just waiting for the opportunity to support you. You can do it.

-Rush
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