Black mothers hate their daughters 😒

Posted on by JustAskMaia

There is this deep-rooted question that [black] people dont ask but want to know the answer to.

Why are these mothers raising their daughters but loving their sons.

More directly, why are mothers so hard on their daughters but coddling their sons.

For a long time, I felt that. Many women attribute it to mothers being jealous of their daughters whilst being gentle on their sons and allowing them to be all over the place (both physically and emotionally).

When I was a single mother. I coddled the hell out of my boy as a single mother. So I thought I knew. I was like, yeah, we do do that. But maturing and now raising 12 children with a husband ( their father). I see this differently.

As a woman, a mom, I am made to be gentle, nurturing, loving, embracing, and encouraging. That’s what I do. But, with daughters, it’s not competition. It is being firm with my daughters so they don’t make my mistakes. I have wisdom now. But I talk to them and explain it. Some of our mothers didn’t know how to do that. Their love came out frustrated because they were scared for you. This world will eat our girls alive. I talk to my girls about every mistake I ever made, and I remind them that they will make some as well, probably repeating some of mine. But it’s okay, never feel like you can’t come to me and we will work it out. That’s how life works. But see, some of our mothers didn’t have that, so they don’t know what that looks like, and some of our mothers may still be traumatized by the stigmas placed on them because of their mistakes.

Having a husband and very present father shows me even more that I am doing it right. Because I do love on my boys hard. But their father is there to get them on the path to manhood. That’s not my job. I can teach my sons many things, but how to be his own man is not one of them. Sure, I can teach him to be the man I want…. read that again. I can give him the descriptions and attributes of what I believe a man should be, but that’s molding him into a man for a woman like me. What if that’s not the woman he wants?

I tell this story about my oldest.
I potty trained him, but I could not convince him to pee standing up (he was potty trained at 1). One day, a girlfriend of mine said her husband could watch him. I needed a sitter and usually wound up taking him to work. This man watched my son for 4 hours, and when I picked him up, he was standing and peeing. He said he only needed to show him 1x.

As a mother, it is my duty to raise my daughters and love my sons. It is my husband’s job to raise his sons and love his daughters. This is the beauty of family. It comes with balance. I never have to be told Happy fathers Day because I am a mom. Even when I was raising my boy, I was only capable of being his mom.

We have lost balance because of the bickering and anger of feeling dupes, excluded, and betrayed by a lover only to be left holding the diaper bag. It’s hard, I know. But we have to be open to playing our roles and allowing the other parent to play theirs. This is how we create well- rounded individuals to lead our future.

This is what self accountability looks like. And I’m sure someone will drag me or adamantly disagree, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you disagree, share it with your own commentary.

This is my FAMILY thought for the day.
You’re welcome. ❤️

Random, like my mind right now.

Posted on by JustAskMaia

This will probably be the most random blog I have posted thus far however, but trust me, it probably won’t be the last because these pregnancy hormones have my mental stability all out of whack. I don’t know whats going on. 

Let’s start with how much I hate Saturdays. While most people look forward to Saturday and dread seeing Monday that is seldom the case for entrepreneurs  especially when you have other tasks to tackle. Its like my body expects me to have this day to wind down but is always disappointed when my brain keeps telling me to push. Unfortunately, I have been putting off creating the home school schedule in its entirety for weeks now. I’ll do a little here and a little there but consistently procrastinating because I know I can get it done last minute. Thats one of my biggest issues, I already know I can get things done in record time so I tend to put things off until the very last second. Of course, not factoring in SSB orders and RCF client follow ups, consultations, and package closures in addition to being a full time mom and wife. Not to mention lately, book orders have picked up. Ugh. Did I mentuon I hate Saturdays?

Also on my mind today is a more structured structure to the accountability portion of my children. I am a very relaxed person when it comes to my children, probably too relaxed, I have a headache right now. But one thing I do not tolerate is mediocre.  Not from my clients or my children. I expect them to put their best foot forward at all times when it comes to goals. I am the type of parent that will rip your work in half because your handwriting is sub par. I will make you ball up your book report and start over when you rush through it without effort. There was a comment made by a young lady whom stated that she did not want to homeschool her children because all the home schooled children she knew [about] were retarded. And yes she used that word. Now while I do not believe this to even be remotely true, moreso an excuse to not homeschool hers (not that I am knocking anyone who has no desire to because I am 100% Do You) but either way that will not be the outcome of mine. Which, of course, leads me to another thought. It is not hard to homeschool your children. You do not even necessarily have to go by any specific curriculum such as k12, unless you feel like that is what will work best for you and yours. I highly recommend you first register with the HSLDA, which is the Home School Legal Defense Association. It is about $30 a year per household. Then go from there. I posted a blog in May titled Homeschool 101 where I give many of the steps I use. In addition I posted some FREE sites on my facebook page to help you get started and as always, I am available for help anytime.

Also, like many people in my field often tell me, I spread myself too thin with my

 free access.  I don’t regret it because I not only love what I do but I want you to love what you do as well. I will have to figure out some type of balance but in the interim, you can always reach out to me to talk, cry, vent, consult, etc. Because I love you like I love myself.