Author: JustAskMaia

ugh. Don’t judge me. I really am trying. The worst part is I actually blogged yesterday but I did not have internet access so I wasn’t able to upload it where I was and of course I completely forgot to do it. So, here I am defending my lack of remembering to blog…again.

Nothing much to say today. I have a migraine and am honestly disinterested in breathing much less doing anything else. I was invited to take part in a migraine study and the compensation was not too shabby, $625 to be exact. Thomas disapproved though. He said he didn’t want me to be a test body. I was like, as long as I get to spend my money before I die, I’m good! No, just kidding. you should never exchange your body for money, unless…. nah, just don’t do it! There is no amount of money on this earth that should make you second guess your morals. Eh, who am I kidding, If my husband didn’t say anything I would have been the first in line to get my shot. Teeheehee.

So Thomas had to work today so it was a purposely lazy day. That is probably why I have a migraine, my mind is so used to racing and processing that laying around has an adverse affect on me so instead of feeling relaxed, I feel tensed. Weird huh.

I am afraid of not having anything to write in my accountability book today, I am actually contemplating whether i should rush and do a few projects before bed despite the migraine. I could take a Excedrin and hope for the best or feel bad all night for lack of productivity today. Decisions.

I’ll let you guys know tomorrow…hopefully.

-Rush

Today I had a faux sense of failure. It brought on more feelings of loss and pity. All of these ‘mistakes’ I had previously endured came flooding in as if a dam had just burst open. They were overwhelming, so much so that I literally had to fight back tears. It was as if a cloud of depression appeared over my head without warning. One minute I was working on a proposal the next I was curled in a ball on the couch with my son wishing I’d made different decisions in life. I hardly even knew this feeling but what I did know is I didn’t like it.

Rewind to twenty minutes ago….

I had just given Cameron a dose of Tylenol and rubbed some orajel on his gums. He is taking this teething thing pretty well his crying is minimal but he makes the cutest faces when its bothering him.

I was in the middle of writing a proposal for a project I am working on so I laid him on the couch beside me.Don’t worry the couch is so close to  me that my leg rests on it from the desk. I was laughing and talking to him as he discovered his new laugh. His older brother came in and picked him up and was playing with him so I went back to focus on writing. The littles are playing around in the living room as well, jumping and singing, laughing and giggling. I suppose I became so immersed in my writing that I had not noticed everyone had left and there was an extreme silence in the room. Before I could notice it I hear a bang and a scream. At first I had no idea where the sound was coming from but quickly realize it was coming from behind me. It was Cameron who laid flat on his face across a small bar attached to the swing. I jumped up heart racing. I snatched him up and immediately hold him in a tight embrace, his small sound muffled in my shoulder as I try to calm both he and myself down. I am afraid to look. What if he is bleeding?  What if something is broken? What if he stops breathing? I can’t breathe now as I find myself having a slight panic attack. I yell out WHO PUT HIM IN THE SWING! No one answers. WHO PUT HIM IN THE SWING? I repeated myself getting angrier as the seconds tick by. The bigs and littles swarm into the living room clearly hearing in my voice that I am not in a repeat myself mood. As they all just look at me I ask again, who placed Cameron in the swing. “I did” I hear faintly. Disappointment was the first emotion I felt since having to hold my newborn baby boy in my arms still not yet knowing the damage done. In my most calm voice I ask, “how many times do I have to tell you guys not to put him in the swing without strapping him in?”.  They look at me completely dumbfounded like the words have never come from my lips.

I finally pull him back and he looks okay besides a very small hairline cut under his eye and just before my eyes I see it swelling. I ask for a rag and a bag of vegetables from the freezer. I put a little bit of Vaseline over it to keep the rag from sticking and the coldness from freezing his skin and place the rag and vegetables over his eye applying slight pressure. He has calmed now but I cannot fight the feeling of guilt as my eyes water. I began to remember many other moments in motherhood I would like to change, this being one of them. What kind of mother am I? What if it were even worse? Then suddenly all the good I have ever done in my life is compressed and all I can remember are my mistakes. Thomas kneels beside me and tells me its not my fault. He kisses me on my forehead and reminds me that accidents happen. Though they seem horrible now, it will be alright. Cameron will be alright. I dozed off holding Cameron tightly in my arms wishing I could make it better.

When I awake about an hour later Cameron is smiling and laughing yet still asleep. I have a feeling of relief. His smile, coupled with the whispers of Thomas made me realize I cannot control everything. Sometimes bad things are going to happen and I cannot allow darkness to take over my light. I feel like, when Cameron was hurt I was emotionally sidetracked. It allowed all of these horrible feelings to come in like a flood and made me lose focus and fear set in. But I am reminded that I am stronger than that. It was a Faux sense of failure.

Cameron is well. Thank you. ❤

-Rush

I promise I really do try to blog everyday. I think about it I just cannot seem to get to it. My days are full but I am really going to do better.

The purpose of this blog is to show people that having a big family and running a business is possible. It gets hard, but it is possible, so in my defense I am simply showing you that everything will not go according to plan about 99.8 percent of the time. Although I do not recommend this method to ANYONE, I have decided to work on Rush Consulting Firm all of the month of may because I need to set the foundation with a clear direction and goal. I will work on Slips Socks and Bows the month of June because I have an August event coming up that I paid too much money to be a vendor NOT to do amazing. The reason I chose June to do this is because July is my annual Heels&Hustle event and since it is in July (July 30) I need to focus on it and tie any lose ends and aim for perfection. Yes, I said perfection. We will talk about that in a moment. Now, though this seems like a clear cut plan I know nothing in my life is clear cut. Something will not only continue to come up but I am sure I will lose out on some opportunities on another business while focusing on only one, that is why this plan is not set in stone but I am determined to stick to it as straightforwardly as possible.

I am having a problem getting clients for Rush Consulting Firm. I mean, I get clients but I want a steady flow. I know you are saying it takes time but I cannot help but feel a sense of urgency with this company. There are so many things we do to empower people to go after their dreams, If I could just get them to notice me!

One of the most difficult things in starting a business is getting stability. I don’t necessarily have a “return customer” type of company so word of mouth and advertising is key which brings me to my next issue… Where is all this money coming from?  My pockets?  Hahahaha. That was an amazing joke.

No matter how hard it gets and no matter what obstacles you may face, you have to keep going. You have to keep pushing. There will be no one who will be sympathetic towards you because you quit. Who wants to be known as a quitter anyhow. I sometimes hate that my drive is always on full force but then I remember its because I need enough juice to push me and push some of you. Everyone has a dream but not everyone has the drive.

I lost a daughter in 2009. She was just shy of three months old. I miss her tremendously. She is my drive. Her name is Madison. I had fallen on hard times financially and I just could not seem to get it together, I sent her away along with my boys to stay with a family member until I got on my feet. She died 10 days after I left her. In the back of my mind it is all my fault because I should have done better. I should never have allowed myself to be in a position to get to where I was unable to properly care for my children, the children I was blessed with. How horrible a person I must be to send away a part of me then not knowing or even imagining I wouldn’t ever see her face again. I never want to be in a position like that again and I never want anyone else to either.

My business offers an array of services from free resources to keep you from getting where I was to services that will get you where you need to be in life to keep not only your family but yourself together. I want to help heal people with my testimony because there is life after you have fallen.

It has taught me many lessons I know pass on to my children, But I also want to pass them on to you.

-Rush

(This Is Madison)

Don’t cry over spilled milk. I’m not sure who first quoted it but it meant nothing to me the first time I heard it or the second, third, and probaby closest toward the upteenth (whatever that means) time. But now being a mother to nine it speaks volumes. As parents the most important things we need to know and take heed to is the aforementioned quote and this; we must take accountability for our part in our children’s actions.⬅ That statement, I believe,  may even far superceded the spilled milk. This comes to me as I am sweeping up the dining room floor this morning not only the fresh mess one of the littles made but the mountain full of crumbs one of the bigs “missed” upon cleaning after dinner last night but we’ll talk about that later.
This morning we had an unscheduled visit from the Department of Social Services worker so Thomas was vacuuming the floor. Me, being the fancy girl that I am, suggested we use the arm and hammer carpet fresh to spruce things up since it smells so lovely (No I did not get paid for that plug but do not mind if I do *hint*). Anyhow, upon completion of the sprinkle, he or myself; I will neither confirm nor deny the allegations that it was me (even though it probably was), but ONE of us placed it on the dinning room table and Thomas proceeded to vacuum. We have our visit and began to pack up to run some errands. I walk into the dining room and see the floor. Needs to be swept because there were crumbs on the floor I presumed from breakfast. As I am sweeping I notice a massive amount of white powder on the floor, no, not THAT white powder. I walk over and quickly realize what it is given the aroma. I simply extend my sweeping range and get it up.
As I swept I mentallly went back in time to when had only two children. I would have been livid at the fact that my hard earned money was now being swept into the dust pan with breakfast crumbs….. and rice? We’ll get back to that.
Yet, here I am cool calm and collected with a smile on my face.
Life is filled with aggravations and frustrations and sometime, heck, most times it’s misdirected. This could have easily been one of the times. I have very long days, usually starting at around 5:30 in the morninng with the prayer line I lead followed by getting the bigs off to school and getting the littles fed and organized and starting on a plethora of to dos with either one of the companies and the day goes on and on with me calling it a “day” around 2:00 if I’m “lucky”. The day surely filled with tears and anger.  When working from home it is not as easy to not bring your work home as some would say, you more have to have a switch to turn off and on at appropriate times which is in no way easy, doable but not easy. With that being said, I have foumd myself in many situations where I have allowed the dealings of my workday affect how I interact with my family and how I act with them. Its horrible. I always regret it. Sometimes it makes me want to give it all up and focus on being 100% mom, nothing more. That could never be so because of the way I am set up. So I make the best of it, learn from my mistakes, and vow to do better the next day.
The bottom line is, had the arm and hammer been placed in its proper place immediately after using it, it would not have been on my floor. I had to take responsibility for that not only as a parent but as a person. So no one was chastised and my blood pressure wasn’t raised. I say all the time that life can be beautiful and I believe that. It takes baby steps but it is possible.
Now about this rice from last night….. ISSAAIIAAHHHHHH!
-Rush

Hello loves. It is literally the middle of the night and I am wide awake like I do not have to be up at 5 a.m. Why 5 a.m. you say? We’ll get to that in a moment.
It has been a long day, but really whats new in my life? I have worked on my website for my girlie boutique, by the way, I highly recommend you hire someone to do this task if you are considering having an ecommerce store. What a headache! Anyhow. I managed to complete my consulting firm website which was pretty simple I just needed to revamp a few things. I have done some research and work on pressing forward with my speaking career.  I managed to do my customized stationary for Rush Consulting firm. Lets see, what else? Oh! I redecorated my living room with my frugal self. Maybe I will get a picture for you guys. I managed to get my children in bed by 9 p.m. and believe it or not, I feel like that is my greatest accomplishment of the day, shoot probably of the week thus far.
I am thinking about becoming an ItWorks representative. Yes, seriously. I have Absolutely NO idea why I feel like my plate has to be overflowing. It drives me crazy. I am from Philadelphia though so I am used to having multiple things going on at once clearly moving to South Carolina has had no affect on my pace, thank God. I’m like the older generation, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Lol
The other day Thomas gave me some money and told me to go and enjoy myself….alone….without children. I sat in the driveway not knowing what the heck to do or where to go! As often as I thought to myself I needed a mini vacation I must admit I was sad to leave my babies home, I actually begged to take one with me. In the end it was good for me although I spent too much money but I can’t say I’m not looking forward to doing
it again.
In the meantime I have a ton of perfecting to do on my projects and I also started a morning prayer line. Yup, another thing to manage. It starts at 5:30 a.m. so feel free to call in.
(563) 999 2090
Access code 608759
Until then I will chat with you another day, hopefully tomorrow. 💋
-Rush

Hello and good morning.
My family is not your typical family and we do not celebrate holidays like everyone else. We do not do Christmas commercially and our Thanksgivings are now big breakfasts and family time; OUR family time. Birthdays are celebrated with family dinners to the birthday person’s place-of-choice. Easter and New Years is celebrated at church.
A lot of people believe we deprive our children of enjoying being a child by doing holidays the way we do but I strongly disagree.
We do not allow our children to play with any type of armory device and the action figures with guns and the like attached to them is not allowed in our home. We do not allow them to watch cable television and we still pray together. Every day.
Some say our children will grow to be resentful for being so strict.
Let me tell you about my babies.
They make good grades in school. They are never in trouble for being in fights and have not been suspended from school. They keep their chores done and are very content with what they have. If they want something they have to earn it. My son wanted a smart phone upgrade. I told him if he brought in straight A’s he could have one. He goofed around in school and brought in all A’s and a B. He did not get his upgrade.
When they argue with one another we put them in ‘couple’s therapy’ so that they can talk out their issues as opposed to just being angry.
My philosophy is this, I am raising black boys who will become black men; Strong black men. They will learn to express themselves without anger or aggression. They will be respectful to those who respect them. Those who do not respect them, they will know they are not worth their time. They will open doors for their wives. They will be great fathers to their children. And they will know that every goal they set for themselves will be achieved.
My girls are raised with pride and humility, self love and empowerment, gentleness and kindness. They have a father who treats them like they are the princesses of the house because they are. Therefore a man who steps to them will have very large shoes to fill. The first guy who says you are pretty they will not fall infatuated with them, because they are told often and they already are aware of how beautiful they are. Money and jewelry will not buy their love because they will know that they are independent enough to acquire their own riches. They are instilled with the values of family and grace, confidence and respect.
Too many African American homes are filled with one parent struggling to make ends meet, no time dedicated to family, anger and resentment for what they thought they would be by now, and heartache. Too many of us are allowing our children to fall in the fallacy of becoming rich like the man or woman on television. We let our children listen to the garbage that is put out in the music world allowing them to believe that they can live that life, but what is that life? A grown man rapping (lying) about the things he has while half naked women crowd around him being degraded for their 15 minutes of fame not one time saying something genuinely positive or saving any money for when he has been washed up.
We have to do better as a generation because it will only get worse. Instill in them the greatness that you see in them that they cannot see yet. Teach them that struggle is a word and not a destination. Show them that family means love; honesty and integrity are still alive and pride is to be handled with care.  Most importantly let them know that they are somebody just the way they are.

-Rush

did you miss me?

so here I am a little after twelve, still awake, straining my eyes to stay awake and keep a promise I made to myself today, I will blog. I have so much to blog about that I don’t know what to blog about. It has been a very eventful couple of weeks since I last chatted it up with you guys on here. oh, where do I began?

Well I have updated my website for Rush Consulting firm. I have been thinking a lot about making the transition to a full staffing firm so I have been doing tons of research on the do and don’ts as well as the legality and finance of that. I made a post in this group on Facebook called dream catchers about the company and business has been booming every since. unfortunately I done some work for some people who, I suppose, believe I did their resume pro bono (even though I clearly stated my fees for service) but I continue to push on, Karma.

I also have been working on my Slips Socks And Bows website. It is a lot more tedious than the firm’s site. I get exhausted as soon as I pull it up to work on it, needless to say I will more than likely be passing that buck off to Thomas. its a good thing he loves me the way he does.

I have been spending a lot of time on self evaluation as well. I have watched the secret twice, its on Netflix by the way. I have also been reading this awesome book called 30 law of attraction practical exercises by Louise Shapely in conjunction with the law of attraction itself. its eye opening stuff. I always felt like I was meant to be great so I just have to live it like I believe it.

There are a lot of areas I struggle with in life, my weight being the biggest thing. I am not morbidly obese or anything like that I just know I can stand to lose some weight. I am so deep in projects though I can barely remember to eat never mind keep track of what I eat but I know I need to do it for myself. my husband doesn’t think I need to lose any weight but I tell him its his job to tell me that. so in addition to working on websites, inventorying stock, making orders, writing resumes, building start up packages, raising nine children and being a dutiful wife I have to make time to put my health in check. at some point and time I will talk more about the importance of this to me but right now I am just checking in with you guys. I want to remind you that anything you want to do you can. I am not going to lie to you and tell you its not hard because some days I want to scream, and some days I do but then I pull myself together and get back at it. you are so worth every bit of energy you put in yourself and so much more. so keep pushing. keep moving. stay prayed up.

until next time, which I hope is quicker than this time. Be Great!

-Rush

Good morning loves. Today I made my first periscope video. Its just a bunch of chit chat but I did it! I did not put on any makeup or do my hair. I didn’t put on some cute outfit or find the perfect sceneric background but I did it anyhow. I am putting more effort towards stepping out of my comfort zone and making a periscope video is definately it. I just have this longing anf strong desire to encourage people. I love it. I love that I blog it makes me feel like I am helping someone. what I blog may not be for you today, your day may be Wednesday but I am glad you’re reading. I appreciate all that is laid in front of me and I believe that is a very important aspect of growth; appreciation. 
I am trying to go above appreciation. I am stepping into manifestation. I have been reading some very encouraging books lately and have decided to embark on my own journey and take notes. Notes I look forward to passing on in the form of a book. I have a story like everyone else and I believe it is important to tell your story, you never know who you may inspire. Shoot, I may inspire you to have children or I may inspire you to STOP having children. People have asked why I do not seek for a show. Though I oftentimes think we should share our laughs with the world, because there are alot of laughs, I do still believe in a little bit of privacy. I have enough scrutiny from family about my life that I can do without the microscopic judgement of the world.
I have come a very long way from driving my mother crazy as a teenager to the responsible person I am today. The bottom line, I have no regrets. Everything I have said and done has molded me into the person that I am today. Life has written me a story and I am living it out. I want to share and encourage. You’d be amazed the obstacles I have overcome. I know I was born to lead. I was born to push and motivate, thats why my story has so many twists and turns and trials. I am able to relate to a multitude of people in different phases of their life.
We are all made for something. I was made to empower and renew.
What are you made for?
-Rush

I’d like to say that the general rules have kept me out of alot of arguments and middle of confusion but alas, these traits were learned and not taught. So, I am going to pass on my pearls of wisdom on this subject that you may avoid conflict in your life. These simple rules or guidelines I like to call them has kept my life peaceful for many years. It is a realm I was not at all familiar with but I must say I have made myself at home and I do not intend on leaving, ever.
I like to think I am a kind and often soft spoken individual, except when I have to repeat myself which is a personal peeve of mine. But we will talk about that later.
I have found myself in uncomfortable situations many times and usually it was innocent on my part,  so I believed, but the ramifications were nothing less than demeaning and downright humiliating. I would never wish that upon anyone, friend or foe. But we have to realize that even the kindest of words or gestures can be misinterpreted or misconstrued and you will quickly find yourself on the defense of a situation that you have no idea how you got yourself into to begin with.
Some of what I tell you may be non conventional to some or just wrong to others. But trust me, I have sought other routes and have found that this is the only way for me. I am an introvert by chance, sensitive to the max, and kind hearted to a fault. I hardly ever speak my mind, will cry over spilled milk, and give you my grocery money just to make you smile. I have no idea where I got this from because my mother and grandmother are almost completely the opposite.
My mother was as kind hearted as can be, will give you the shirt off her back but as long as she has a t shirt on. She will not bite her tongue and her words can cut like a knife. It takes a lot to make her cry but when she does you can feel her pain and know that she has reach her breaking point but it makes her stronger and even harder to break. I used to wish I were more like her but, I’m just me. Over the years I have learned myself and became the best me I can be. I have lost friends along the way, mostly due to the aforementioned confusion and the fact that I don’t speak  when I should.
By now you are probably thinking, well get to it already, I know I would be. I just had to give you a little background on who I am and how I stumbled across this free wealth of knowledge. Trial and error.

1. Always tell the truth.
2. Speak when spoken to.
3. Keep all comments, both good and bad to yourself.
4. Be honest with yourself.
5. Don’t dilute yourself to appease others.
6. Value your morals.
7. If you don’t have any ^ go get some.
8. You don’t need a bunch of friends.
9. Know what you want.
10. Life can be beautiful.

-Rush