🎶 woke up this morning, got up outta my bed…🎶
Who the frick did I just step on!! It’s 3:13 in the morning. Kera is rousing so I need to go to the bathroom before I am locked into a breastfeeding position for the next 30 minutes. Ava is laying across my legs and Maia is laying sideways between McRush and I as if this is her bed. 🙃 Oh! And on the floor by me is Sara who couldn’t sleep so asked to watch a movie on my phone until she could. She did.
I wiggle my way out of bed and mission impossibled my way to the bathroom only to have t step over Ian. As I wash my hands Ava comes “mom can I get in your bed?”. 🙄 I advise her to get in where she fits. This was a bad response. 👎
I go to turn off the girls lamp, this bigs closet light and the Littles light that they turn on every night despite the night light they have. As I return to bed, I realize, where Ava fits is in my spot 😭.
I wake McRush and we adjust some and carry the rest to their nighttime nestles. The few minutes I had before Kera wakes to feed are gone. I sit up to breastfeed and prop a pillow under my harm in case I doze of.
I have my nephew son back and he has accidents so I have a new habit to wake him. It’s 4:40 a.m. and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I stayed up until 1:30 creating some framework for a client so brain is still upset with me. I don’t get to sleep until after 6:10, the last time I looked at the clock because my anxiety had mequestioning if I should just stay up, I mean, it’s about to be light outside. I opt against it. Just a few more minutes mom, right.
As the sun shines in Kera rises for breakfast. I stay on my side, back to the edge of the bed. We both fall back to sleep. My alarm goes off at 8 a.m. and I swear I want to throw that thing so far across the world.
Days like this are very often and are indeed the reason I suffer from anxiety. Funny thing is I wouldn’t change it. I would probably get rid of the anxiety but, you know what I mean.
My day coasts by pretty much the same but one thing I have learned to do is pinpointy stressor and ask if there is anything I can do to avoid them. If not, how do I approach them? How do I prepare for them? This has helped me tremendously.
You know having a big family keeps me prepared to help my clients in all walks of life. And I am grateful for it.