So Occasionally I find myself in the middle of a war of opinions on Facebook. I use the word opinions very loosely because sometimes people’s opinions quickly turn into facts when they feel defeated. Sometimes I am at a lost of understanding how they come to the conclusions that they do but I imagine they feel the same about me. Because I have no desire to pay anyone for posting their name in my blog (not that I have to because its Facebook, thus public property) I will remove the name and their picture, but I am sure someone will try especially knowing the mindset of some people I converse with in these posts. Below is the conversation. I really would like your feedback, not so much who is wrong and who is right, because remember, everyone has a right to their own opinion, but just to see where people stand on this very controversial topic, Child Support.
Maisha Rush Its hers. Child support is meant to financially co parent in the absence of one or both parents. She did it all, its her back pay. Why would it be his? What did the child do to “deserve” it? She should use it to help him secure himself but that is not an obligation just a grand gesture.
Jessica Reid That’s like saying what did she do but let a bum nut in her. If dude was in the child’s life, it wouldn’t be “her” money
Maisha Rush Thats cool. Was just answering what I thought. I do not debate with Queens.
Maisha Rush I asked my son because yall got me rethinking this. He said its would be mine BUT he would expect. Lil somrthin’ (lol) to which I responded. Logically any good mother would be sure her son is taken care of and probably end up with about 10 grand in the end (if that). His answer surprised me because he is only 17 but I can dig it. Lol
Jessica Reid But it’s for his behalf. Y’all acting like y’all doing something that you wouldn’t do if the father was there
Awesum Ikilla You are doing a lot of something you wouldn’t be doing since the father isn’t there. At the end of the day a child is the product of 2 people and having one is a life commitment. Yes you’re going to have to take care of the child regardless but it shouldn’t be on your own so the money is the other half of help you were entitled to but didn’t get due to the separation. Too many think the mother is owed nothing but the reality of the situation is she does deserve it because the man shouldn’t have left her to do it on her own. The child’s existence is important but the child ain’t paying no bills putting in work.
Jessica Reid Would you not take care of the child if dad was there? The fact that you feel like you’re “owed” something, that’s your kid!
Awesum Ikilla As a mother receiving child support I have to say YES I am owed. The kids aren’t solely my own and they do come with extra expenses which I shouldn’t be solely responsible for. So please tell me more how I’m not owed the money I went to the court and was ordered to receive.
Jessica Reid Your child is owed that money. You aren’t doing a thing that you wouldn’t do if the other parent wasn’t there. You would still be figuring out activities, day care and other expenses for the child. If you feel owed, close your damn legs
Jessica Reid Ok the child is now 24. If you still need support when the child’s 24, I suggest you do better in life and stop acting like a debt collector to your child. You’re acting like your child owes you something because you decided to be with a bum
Maisha Rush At 24 his behind is grown and gone! That support you were supposed to give…… yeah. I did it all. Pay me for the labors you were meant to endure WITH me but left me to do it alone as if this were only MY child.
Jessica Reid Pay you for the labor that you would’ve been doing anyways. Basically, because you just had to let a nigga nut, your child has to pay for it?
Maisha Rush Hahahaha. Not actually birth labor sis, I.meant the labor of raising a child ALONE. Of course you went through labor alone. Smh. Some things you would not have been doing ALONE had he been there. It is much more labor intensive to do it alone than it is with the other parent that is why child support is implemented because this is a fact.
Jessica Reid Labor, actual work you would’ve done with the child. Again, you your child’s debt collector because you decided to procreate with a bum? I’m still waiting to see what things you wouldn’t have done if the father was there. Would junior not have activities that you and he paid for? Would you not pay for food, shelter or clothes for your child if dad was there?
Maisha Rush The struggle queen. We are talking about the struggle. If this were not a known fact then child support would never have been implemented. Maybe you couldn’t afford to have a good roof over their heads because you struggled doing it alone. With my first child I was homeless twice while his father was living it up in his five bedroom home. I had to beg foe food on the corner. I starved for a year, literally. I was given hand me downs from time to time, slept in shelters. It was a struggle. He didn’t care. I had my lights turned off because my son needed uniforms for school and supplies, and food. THAT is where the support should have eased the labor. These are the things child support are supposed to help with. I got fired from a job for taking off too many times for school meetings/functions/registration or because he was sick. THAT is where that support should help. THAT is the purpose of child support. And still going without because you, as a parent continue still to pay college tuition, graduations, etc. That’s is what I meant by “back pay” and easing labor pains.
Jessica Reid Again, if dad was there, you along with dad would be providing food, home, clothing, etc. If you want back pay from being an adult, I suggest you go back to your mama’s coochie
Maisha Rush I don’t need a violin sis. I’m good. You asked for examples. I gave them. Smh. Why? Through my struggles I own businesses and never have to stoop to demeaning and attempting to belittle someone who answers questions and tells their story. That’s not what this was about. It was a conversation between grown people with opinions. Sometimes petty isn’t called for. I don’t want or need back pay.
Jessica Reid Obviously you did because you’re stating things you would’ve done anyway, tying it to a sob story to elicit sympathy. Don’t talk about how you don’t need nor want back pay now because you’re in your feelings. If your child is 24 and you still talking about needing back pay for being an adult and taking care of your responsibilities, you need to go back into your mama’s coochie
Awesum Ikilla The problem with your mindset Jessica is that your mentality is taking the mother for granted. It’s the attitude that deadbeats adopt to not feel guilty for their faults on failing to uphold an obligation. It’s immature from my viewpoint and kind of immoral. Your opinion is literally the opposite of the law for a reason maybe you should rethink with some consideration it’s the only way you’ll really get the big picture.
Jessica Reid How? Again what exactly are you not doing as a mother or an adult that you now have to do because dad isn’t in the picture? Are you not feeding your child? Clothing them? Providing shelter? If a man said this in regards to a deadbeat mother, y’all would be up in arms.
If you need back pay for being an adult and taking care of your responsibilities, your parents should’ve swallowed you
Awesum Ikilla Example 1 Daycare 1500 month with 2 parents that’s 750 each …. but you’re single your other half just failed to support you.
Example 2 you’re offered a job making 50k working the night shift. But WAIT there’s nobody home with Jon Jon at night because you are alone raising him so instead you take the 25k 9-5 that works with his school schedule you just lost out on 25k because you have no support for the child it took 2 to make. … meanwhile Reggie your baby daddy is making 80k a year with 2 jobs he has time for becuz he left the kid with you cuz fuck it you gotta be a mom regardless.
Example 3 Kiki wants to be a cheerleader it’s 400 sign up 50 in gas a week to get her there( I’m not even going to mention finding the time) you are single so you are paying the 400 plus 200 a month in gas alone that’s 600. 600/2=300 but Wait you was going to be a mom anyway so let’s not talk about the possible 700 that could’ve gone else where girl Bye !
Example 2 you’re offered a job making 50k working the night shift. But WAIT there’s nobody home with Jon Jon at night because you are alone raising him so instead you take the 25k 9-5 that works with his school schedule you just lost out on 25k because you have no support for the child it took 2 to make. … meanwhile Reggie your baby daddy is making 80k a year with 2 jobs he has time for becuz he left the kid with you cuz fuck it you gotta be a mom regardless.
Example 3 Kiki wants to be a cheerleader it’s 400 sign up 50 in gas a week to get her there( I’m not even going to mention finding the time) you are single so you are paying the 400 plus 200 a month in gas alone that’s 600. 600/2=300 but Wait you was going to be a mom anyway so let’s not talk about the possible 700 that could’ve gone else where girl Bye !
Awesum Ikilla Give me my back pay and let the little child less, or new girlfriend, or dick riders, or deadbeats or whoever think whatever they want
Jessica Reid So basically you want to be paid for being an adult? You a basic bitch
Jessica Reid And side note: if you’re giving up a job making $50K because of lack of a sitter, you’re stupid
Awesum Ikilla and its not getting paid for being an adult its back pay for the part that shouldve been contributed girl you are wrong just stop. your argument has been surpassed by scholars who have created laws to protect the right people from the habits of the wrong doers.
Jessica Reid No, you’re stupid if you can’t take a $50K job because of lack of sitter. If you’re making $50K and cannot find a sitter, you ain’t trying. Basic ass
Awesum Ikilla say you have a roomate rent is 1000 both of y’all are on the lease yall agreed on 50/50 if you end up paying the 1000 every month while your roommate stayed for free you better go to court and get them to pay their half to you. According to your motto your roommate would be in court arguing that you was staying there anyway so why do you think you should get paid for being an adult and the time has already passed so whats the point just move on with your life.
Awesum Ikilla who do you know thats going to come to your house from 12-6 am to watch your child since you are so smart and sure about possible scenarios? when will they start and can you trust them with your child are they reliable when will they get paid? can you afford them and your bills?…. Girl its so much more whedoing things on your own and that’s why they have child support.
Maisha Rush Queen, let it go Awesum Ikilla
Now, please note how I should have stopped conversing with this young lady long ago as I said I would in the very beginning…. Shame on me for not listening to my wiser self.
I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
-Rush
JustAskMaia 