What are you teaching?!

Recently Thomas and I took the children to this community park, we rarely do this because we have a huge back yard but every now and again we like them to get some other human interaction. Now, in case you did not read my bio we have nine children, 10 actually but I always have to explain and then hear stories so I have sadly gotten into the habit of saying nine. I have birthed seven and I was blessed with two. I lost one a few years back so I usually say ‘I have 10 children, 7 birthed, 2 blessed and 1 in spirit’. Anyhow. We were at the park and I was playing around with the children, like always, you can see the people counting. It may be rude but when I see them count I just blurt out ‘NINE, there are nine of them.’

I am at the children’s plank to go to the slide with my girls, then Gabriel calls for me to get him, I am like seven feet above ground so I called Reggie to hand him up to me. There is a little girl, a black little girl, who was walking the plank behind us. The girls and I are shaking the wooden beams pretending to try to keep our balance until we reach the slide. Once we get there, Thomas hands me Charles to slide him down as well. I release Gabriel to Thomas’ awaiting arms at the bottom and then Charles. Suddenly, Isaiah says ‘Mom, look!’. No sooner than I look over the young girl, about 11, looks at me and says, “Dang how many children do you have?!” Nine, I reply. “So you have NINE baby daddies?” The look of sincerity and confusion on her face made me want to smack her mother on her nose. Why does she seem to think that in order to have nine children, I must have nine ‘baby daddies’? Poor parenting is why. I looked at her and smiled, no baby, I said to her softly, just one. Do you know she had the nerve to roll her eyes and suck her teeth like that was impossible and I was the biggest liar in the world. Where is HER daddy? I shook my head and slid down the slide with Sara.

Later I saw the little girl walking pass Thomas and I so I asked her to come here. I introduced her to the ONE father and told her when you are in love there is only one that needs to be the father. Now I am aware that some of you are saying that he isn’t the father to all of them, and I disagree. He is there to wipe tears and behinds. He is there to make rules and make pancakes. Sick or well, good or bad, their father is there. He has more than earned the title and Thomas wears it well.

I understand that some people do not always end up with their first child’s father, or their second, and sometimes not even the third. But for her mind to be warped into thinking that the amount of children you have equals the amount of fathers there are is just sad. As a young lady, even if she is in a home with siblings whom have different fathers, it is her mother’s responsibility to teach her and it is her mother’s responsibility to set a good example so she does not have to think like this. My daughter is five and we already have had talks about life, babies, love, menstruation. You cannot wait and hope they will learn or wait too long to teach them because the streets will have already implanted the seed that will grow the tree of womanhood for her. As a woman her mother should have sat down with her and told her, even though you and your brothers have different fathers it does not have to be that way for you, mommy had to learn so I could teach you; Or something along those lines.

Listen I am not perfect but some things are just common sense. I’m just saying I should not have had to have that conversation with that baby girl.


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