So I have been pushing through some issues in life and sometimes it is hard to see clearly when you are a mom. That is not to take anything from you fathers out there but like I tell McRush all the time, I can only speak from the perspective of a mom and wife.
There is always someone who wants to pass you some advice that’s common sense but really not logical like, “take a nap when the children take a nap”. This of course going off the assumption that you can get all of your children down for a nap simultaneously. In addition, while this may seem a good idea, most moms know that this is the most opportune time to actually get some work done without the children in the way calling you for everything.
Another one I find hilarious is, “you have to take time out in the day for yourself”. My response,and the response of many moms is, I can’t even pee in peace. Where exactly is that time located because I have been looking.
I watched Red Table today and heard something profound. Something I have always known to be true and even experience but it was put into words. It’s the assumption that I am doing a great job because I maintain my family and every one around me is doing well as a result of my encouragement and tenacity to be there for them. But no one, not even me, considers me.
I found myself questioning why I am. And while that may sound borderline suicidal, I assure you it is anything but. My inward emotions in no way reflect my outward appearance. I have everything I could ever want. Even under the presence of the full moon there is nothing I can ask for to make my life better. Inwardly, however, I feel like something is missing. It’s crazy because I am doing exactly why I love to as far as business and my family is picture perfect.
What is it then? I have lost myself. There are questions I can ask myself and not know the answers.
What do you like to do for fun?
What is your favorite color?
What makes you happy?
What makes you laugh from your soul?
So, that is my new quest, to make myself as happy as I make the people around me. Its going to be a bumpy ride but I have my seatbelt on. 😉
What is your happiness?