Get better, always

 

Why do people feel the need talk about others? Just a thought on my mind today. I mean how much better are you than they are just due to the simple fact that you’re talking about them? You know, gossiping.

People often say that I have a holier-than-thou attitude. But I don’t think I am holier-than-thou, I know that I am holier than the old me and I am very proud of that.

A little history about Maisha Rush

I was born in a City—–> city girl HEEEEY! I am the oldest of seven brothers and two sisters. I thought I was grown when I was sixteen after I got my diploma so I started smelling myself and left home shortly after, I was 17 by then though. I found out pretty quickly how hard life really was but my pride wouldn’t let me go back home. I guess it was really my shame and guilt. I left one day while my mom was asleep and I didn’t say bye or anything. I still feel a skip in my heart and a punch in my gut when I think about doing that to my mom. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her. I went to Philadelphia and registered myself for college. I worked two jobs while going to school and in the semesters I decided not to go, I worked three. The city life, you have to love it. At one point I started stripping at a club called Princess’s Lounge. It was a creepy place but it paid good money. I was grossed out every time I walked into that place. The owner was nice but she didn’t play. That’s when I found out you had to pay to be a stripper.

I eventually moved back to Florida with my mom for awhile. I hooked up with my old friends and it was party heaven. I was clubbing, smoking, drinking, cussing like a sailor, and yes I had a boyfriend so I was fornicating too. I was back and forth between Philadelphia and Florida doing everything I was old enough to do. I loved it! My best friend was a big time drug lord so I was always spoiled. I knew him before he got to be a big-to-do in the city so no; I didn’t have to sleep with him. I was surrounded in crime and illegal mess, even some legal mess. I got pregnant. It all stopped.  I wanted better for my son. I knew it was wrong all along but I do not mind being held accountable for my actions but when I had my son, my whole outlook on life changed. He was more important than the air that I breathed. He was my everything. I got on the straight and narrow. I did everything in my power not to be a recipient of the welfare system, within legal limits. I struggled so badly. I wanted nothing to do with my old friends because I didn’t trust myself not to fall back into that life again. I found myself homeless and living on the streets with my almost one year old boy. It wasn’t working like I always dreamed it would. I sent my son to my mother until there was a better handle on things.

I have been on an up and down roller coaster most of my adult life. My stepfather died. I lost a child to SIDS. I Had a horrible miscarriage. I have been homeless twice. I have an anger problem I have been working on. I was a stripper both personal and public. I have been married. I have been divorced, I have been in an abusive relationship where I could have lost my life, I have been a habitual liar, you name it I probably went through it.

I decided one day to get saved and lived right and I haven’t turned back since. I sometimes get so stressed out that I want a cigarette or a nice shot of Vodka, but I don’t.  I sometimes get so mad I could cuss, but I don’t.

I do still strip occasionally but I’m married to the person so I believe it’s okay ; )

I said all that to say. You may think I believe I am holier than thou but it’s not you I feel I am holier than. It’s the old me and I like the life I am living now. Does it get hard sometimes? Absolutely. Do I make it through? You better know it.

I am smarter than I once was. I am stronger than I once was. I AM holier than I once was. And I love me better for it. If you get offended, maybe it’s something within yourself that you desire to change. Or maybe you just want to be more like me (okay THAT was a joke. I do have some humility about me).

That’s why I just really want to go out and talk to people, volunteer, and give my testimony because no matter what you go through you will be alright. You have to first take accountability and then you can grow. As long as you have someone in your corner to talk to and to push you through your rough patches, everything will be okay. So be mindful your premature judgment of others, you don’t know what they have been through or what they are going through. Your harsh words may be their breaking point. Your kind words may be just what they need to be encouraged.

Be mindful today, it could be you.

-Rush
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