Dumbest thing I have ever done.

One time, I thought I could cook an egg in a microwave. That thing burned the inside of my mouth so bad I couldn’t eat for a week. Then there was this one time when my mom used to work at Walmart part-time. I went in there and I saw these earrings that I wanted so bad and I knew my mom wasn’t getting it for me so I put it in my pocket but I wasn’t very sneaky so I got caught. I embarrassed the h*** out of my mom. I wonder if she even remembered that. yeah, that was dumb.

There aren’t too many things that I’ve done that I consider dumb in my life. But the dumbest thing that I have ever done: are you ready for this? It’s a real shocker. I’m actually laughing at the thought that I’m going to tell you this but I am going to tell you and you’re probably going to clutch your pearls but honey it is absolutely the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life.

The dumbest thing I have ever done in my life is have children. No, for real, hear me out, hear me out? When I say having children was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, it’s not because I don’t love them and honor their presence. But I simply was not ready. Hell, I’m still not ready. I love these little life hiccups, but baby, I don’t know. I think there should be extensive sessions on how much you lose when you have children. Like time, privacy, and quiet.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll fight you over mine, and you damn sure can’t have them, but if I am being 100% honest with myself. I’m too selfish to have children. Like, I don’t want to share my last bite of peach. I don’t want to cancel my plans yo take you to the E.R. I don’t want to learn how to do something just so I can teach you and you forget about it 30 minutes from now. Nothing about motherhood is reciprocal, and I don’t like that. I am a triple Leo, and this is a real problem for me.

I don’t know how to be selfless and unconditional. It’s just weird that for the rest of my life is not my life, and my life is not about me.

But oh how I love the kisses and hugs. I love the smiles and happiness. I love being a part of the growth and ah ha moments. I love that they will always love me, and I will always love them. I still look at them and can not believe that a real live person came frome. Like, I did that. I love it.

It’s still dumb but hey, we love a lot of our dumb decisions. That’s why we got married. 😉

My big baby and last baby

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